RP Log with lotterylucky | No History Repeating
[Follows THIS]
In the wake of Blaise's dramatic exit, Riley was left feeling like the elusive Kindred had smacked him around the face a few times and then left him dangling over a very large cliff. He didn't know whether it just coincided with his fever spiking or what, but he broke into a bout of shivering that he just didn't seem to be able to stop. It wasn't like there was anyone there he could talk to and offload everything that had just happened. He couldn't called Graham. Graham really didn't like Buffy much these days. In fact, Graham didn't like Riley's ex wife either. He was like the typical sidekick, ready to hate on anyone that hurt his guy. Buffy hadn't been in good favour since she didn't follow Riley that night (even if she did, no one actually knew that at the time). So, talking to Graham was out, unless he wanted a lecture about getting messed up with the Slayer again. Rory had made a hasty exit, and it wasn't like Riley expected to get a whole lot of intelligent conversation out of the Scot about his lovelife. They didn't know each other, and he suspected they both had a shitload of trust issues, so that wouldn't work either.
It just all left Riley exhausted. When the penny dropped at the enormity of what Blaise had requested, Riley had promptly gone back to the bathroom and threw up for fifteen minutes straight. It succeeded in zapping what little energy he had left, so he had just stumbled his way back to his bed, curled up in a miserable ball and fell into a deep sleep, despite fearing he wouldn't be able to with everything going through his mind. He didn't have any realisation that that all happened a good sixteen hours ago. He had passed out around three in the afternoon, and slept right through the night. He also didn't have any realisation that Buffy had returned home with chicken soup around four in the afternoon and had a few failed attempts at waking him in the hours that followed before she finally just laid down next to him on the bed for lack of any other way to help. It was seven am the following morning now, and sometime during the night, Riley had proved he wasn't actually dead by ending up spooned securely up beind Buffy's back in his sleep. His face was buried in her back, and his arm wrapped around her waist as he slept on.
It was just like old times. Amazing old times.
Buffy's fingers curled into the pillow as she started to wake up, her mind fighting the sudden invasion of consciousness. She didn't want to think, she didn't want to be aware of the world around her. Then she made the realisation that Riley was spooned up behind her and there was no denying how nice it felt. How safe she felt, protected. Even a Slayer needed a safe harbour. Buffy moaned softly as she pushed back against him slightly and moved her hand to cover his as she gave it a squeeze. There was a part of her that could get used to this again.
It was the fact his nose was buried that actually ended being what woke Riley. It took him a few more moments to realise that he was really warm, too, and despite the fact it still felt like everything hurt all over, he wasn't uncomfortable. He made a soft noise that was a cross between a snort and "Hn" before he shifted just a little to realise he was wrapped around another body. A familiar body. Which meant that something was wrong with this picture. He hadn't woken up with someone in his bed like this for months, and it was enough to force him awake and get his eyes to open a little. He was looking at a back that his nose was squished up against, and there was blonde hair.
Buffy.
"Buffy..." he said hoarsely, pulling back just a little to analyse where he was. His brain had that cotton wool feeling and it took a little to get his bearings and not assume the last few years had been some sort of bad dream, and he was now waking up back in Sunnydale like nothing had happened. But then his sore head made itself known again and his upset stomach soon followed, causing him to put his head back down on the pillow with a soft grown. He didn't let go of her, though. Why didn't he let go of her?
Buffy's eyes snapped open at the sound of Riley's voice, and she heard the groan that followed and instantly made her concerned for him. She twisted in his arm without moving out of his hold and brushed the backs of her fingers against his cheek before she pressed her palm against his forehead to check for a temperature. "Morning. How are you feeling? You just didn't seem to wake up, so I gave up and joined you. I did get the soup... Chicken soup, not pigeon."
"It's morning? Jesus..." Riley mumbled, stretching a little but really making no other effort to move anywhere. "Um, a bit better I think. Less like I want to throw up, more like I want to climb in the fridge and sit there for a few hours with ice cubes strapped around me. Anything but chocolate croissant-" The flippant comment wasn't meant as anything, but it brought everything rushing back abruptly and he sat up, even if he was hit with a dizzy spell from moving too quickly. "Oh god... oh fuck."
Buffy sat up next to him, and rest her hand on his shoulder as she waited to see if Riley was going to faint. Her love heart pyjama pants were at odds with the camouflage army issue pants he was still wearing, and even her white tank top seemed bright now the sun was starting to seep through the cracks in the curtains. "What? Are you going to throw up? Is it go time? Do I smell? I haven't even been slaying!"
Riley took a few more moments to metaphorically crap himself, needing to swallow heavily to fight off the urge to puke again. The conversation with Blaise was back in his head, clear as a bell and he squeezed his eyes shut a little when the sunlight he just became aware of also felt like it was drilling into his brain. "That could be a yes, but just... please tell me you have spoken to Blaise like you said you were going to. How long have I been asleep? You said it was morning." He reached over her to turn the digital clock towards him. "It's morning. Shit. Buffy, you need to go and talk to him. You just... he won't be awake, but go and friggen camp out there til sundown if you need to."
Buffy raised her eyebrows as she stared at Riley, genuinely not sure if he was having a bizarre fit of some kind. Maybe the fever was starting to push him over the edge. "Huh? Well, no. I mean, I was going to but then I just kind of wound up walking around, and trying to get the soup. Then I came back here and just wanted to keep an eye on you. Why are you so worried about me talking to Blaise? It's seven in the morning. Surely I still can just go over there at sundown. Why do I need to camp out?"
Riley didn't actually know the complete answer to that. "I-I don't know, but it won't be a bad idea!" he protested with a slight huff, irritated at himself for trying to function below his means and failing miserably. He put a hand over his mouth as he tried to figure out the best way to tackle this without him coming out sounding like a complete jealous prick. That would be difficult though, considering there was a high chance he actually was just that. He turned and looked at her, and then went on to press his fingers to his aching forehead. If he didn't tell Buffy that Blaise had been here, and what he had said, Blaise would just push her totally out of his world, and Riley would be free to step in. Right? But then, if he didn't do what Blaise requested, Riley may as well kiss goodbye to his career, and he remembered what happened last time he tried that. This was all based on the fact that there was still a huge chance Buffy would never want him how he needed to be wanted. Maybe it was just time to staple up those old wounds and try to move on without her? "Because he's going to push you out of his world, Buffy. You hurt him. More than you realise."
Buffy's face instantly reflected pain. She felt like Riley had just punched her in the stomach and she sucked in a breath to try and recover. "What? Why... I didn't... I didn't do anything. Not to hu--Oh god, the smell. He could smell me. And you. And Rory. I forgot how freaky vampire noses could be. But I still don't... I don't get it. Why is he going to push me out? Are you sure?" Buffy's hand shook as she reached up to touch her hair, not actually sure what she was supposed to do with her hands right at that moment. Just that she needed to do something. Rory had told her to make a decision, as had Riley, but she really didn't think she'd have to make a decision this quickly. She still just assumed she had time. And being with Riley was nice. It was familiar, and part of her just wanted to be ready to love him. For this to be their time. The idea of being kicked out of Blaise's world though was awful.
"Look, Buffy, I..." Riley began, really struggling with this whole thing. He had just been getting his life back on track after the horrific turn of events with Sam, and now this all over again. Was his heart ever going to have a chance to stop hurting? "I don't know what was going on between you two. You say nothing, yet the look in his eyes says differently. I know enough to know that there was something, and obviously that something meant a whole lot more to him than it did to you. And if you have no intentions of anything else with him, then fine. Just back off and let him disappear back into his own world. You won't see him, you won't hear from him. You'll probably only hear of him. But if what you have been telling me is inaccurate, and you want something with him, you need to talk to him as soon as possible." He looked at her, wiping some sweat off his forehead. "He came here, Buffy. Earlier... yesterday, I mean. He has asked that my team take action to protect Kindred from any Slayer infiltration. He said he doesn't want any Slayer presence in his world. He wasn't joking, Buffy. Not in the slightest."
Buffy took a shuddering breath as she backed off the bed and nearly stumbled as she tried to find her footing. "Wh-What? No Slayer presence... None..." She pressed her hand to her forehead and the tears started to come thick and fast. "I would have never let them hurt him! Hurt the Kindred. But it wasn't like I could say anything about them to stop the girls from thinking all vampires are the same. I didn't even tell Xander, or Will. Not even Giles! Oh my god... I can't believe he'd just... If I hurt him, then punish me. Don't just assume that I would let them..." She wound up choking on the words before she came back over to the bed and dropped onto it heavily. "Riley, I messed up."
Riley pressed his lips together and swallowed as he came close to tears. He nodded a little in agreement, and really couldn't speak at first. It was like there was a huge lump stuck in his throat and he had to look away from her, staring at the wall. "I didn't assume anything, Buffy, but thank you for that confidence. I tried to tell him what you just told me, but he's made up his mind. I told him things I didn't even want to hear out loud to try and get him to see sense, but something has cut him deep. He's called it, and I need to do his bidding. He'll destroy me if I don't, Buffy. He has the power to literally eradicate me. I swore by one of the deepest contracts I would protect The Masquerade and Kindred, and the information I receive in the course of my job, I would take to my grave, whether I stay in the miltiary or not. A blood contract, Buffy," he told her pointedly. "He thinks the Slayers are a threat. He didn't waver on that point."
Buffy reached behind her to seek out Riley's hand as she gripped it, and tried to pull herself together, but it wasn't working. That one, peaceful moment at the edge of the Hellmouth when she'd looked back at the crater that had been Sunnydale and known that she'd destroyed it, that she'd changed the world... Defeated the First, it felt like a lifetime ago. There wasn't peace anymore, there wasn't happiness. How could she be happy when she'd created a world where she was the Big Bad? The exhaustion, the regret, guilt and emptiness hit her all at once and she broke down as she still held Riley's hand. "I never wanted you to be the one that was hurt," she got out. "You don't deserve this. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to... make it worse."
Riley pried his hand out of hers and looked at her seriously. "Buffy, I'm going to protect him and his Clans, whatever it takes. It's not just about the contract I made. I feel like I'm actually achieving something here. The vampires I have met here, the Kindred, they are nothing like what you know and what you're used to hunting. That's why I made him feed on me. He didn't do it as some freakish lusty obsession to have me. I forced him to do it so I could feel that it was different. He didn't want to touch me. He was willing to trust me. For the first time since you became the Slayer, you really gotta stop and realise that this time, you just don't have the information. And there is only one person who can give it to you how you deserve to have it. Only, he thinks that instead of you wanting it and wanting to understand him... wanting to like him... you just took it for your own purpose and stepped directly out into the beds of two other guys. You might be the Slayer, but you have only been doing it for a few years. These guys, some of them have been around for hundreds of years. Their values are old school. Loyal and trust trump everything else."
"I like him already! Of course I want to understand, and want it. I wanted it all. I just got scared, I wasn't sure he really wanted me to be there. That he wanted me. I didn't get it." She wiped her fingers against her eyes to try and brush away the tears with a sniff. "I started to doubt everything because why would he want me when he couldn't feed? And I know what you said. But I didn't know that before. I don't know anything, and I hate feeling stupid. I hate being forced to make assumptions that turn out wrong. What does your job even mean? Are you going to come back to Scotland and kick us out? Are you kicking me out of Paris now?"
"Then maybe you should have given him the time to tell you rather than going out and sleeping with someone else," Riley said quietly and pushed up off the bed. His clothes were soaked from the feverish sweat, and he didn't care anymore, he just started to strip down to his underwear to get out of it so he could get into something cleaner. It wasn't like she hadn't seen it all before. "You weren't forced to make any assumptions, you just did because you got impatient. You got frustrated. You made yourself stupid, no one else did that for you. That's a mistake you're going to have to live with and clean up all on your own. I'm not going in there to plead your case for you. You can't deny you've got a history of making incorrect assumptions, and yeah, Buffy, sometimes people are gonna get hurt because of that. You've been messed up in it all thinking all about how you feel, you haven't stopped to think how he is feeling too. I'm strangely getting dejavu here. Just know one thing, as much as it makes me want to throw up to say this because I don't think I ever really quite got over you and stupidly let myself think there might have been a chance we could give it another try, but unlike Angel who had no capacity to love you, Blaise can take someone and love them for literally an eternity. From how I saw him yesterday, though, I think you've maybe missed the boat. Hurts, doesn't it?"
Buffy nodded as her gaze turned to the floor and she stared at it numbly. How could she have been so stupid? Only there really was no way she could regret sleeping with Riley. It was something that needed to be done. A closure of some sort even if all it did was seem to open up old wounds. Especially for him, and that part she couldn't forgive herself for. As much as it always seemed to be proved otherwise, Buffy never wanted to hurt Riley. "I need to see him," she said quietly. "I have to see him. He can't kick me out without talking to me face to face."
Riley nodded a little also and then sighed as he pulled on a clean t-shirt. "And Buffy? I know this is all about you and... whatever, but can you do me a favour? If I'm looking at a cute girl and it seems like I might actually be interested in her, please don't pull the jealous pseudo-girlfriend routine again. Or judge me on the fact I am even looking. Before the other night, I literally had not gotten laid since my divorce and I really don't want to die the lonely dude that was divorced before he even hit thirty. I'd like to have a chance at finding someone who makes me happy, too, and you made your choice. You don't get to judge me on mine. Not anymore," he mumbled tiredly.
Buffy brushed the tears from her eyes before she stood up again and circled the bed to slip her arms around Riley's waist when he'd pulled the t-shirt on. "I'm sorry, I'll keep my ex-jealousy to myself, I promise. You can look at any girl you want. But that waitress really was cute. I'd do her. You should go back to the restaurant, maybe try again."
Riley shook his head. "No... no, it's stupid. I'm too tired, I couldn't be bothered. Let alone the fact that I don't even want to think about food right now. This was just for future reference. It's time to keep rolling forward, not continuously backwards," he decided. He gave her a brief hug and then stepped back. "But you gotta try and talk to him. Even if you're too late, still try. And I'm gonna go back to bed." Only, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, his cell phone started ringing and he turned to frown at it, seriously contemplating not picking it up. He didn't have the conscience for that, though. He grabbed for it, swearing softly and then answered it. "Sergeant Fi-- Graham? Wait, wait. Slow down. Where are you? I can hardly hear what you're saying from all the interference."
He paused, listening but was soon piercing Buffy with a wide-eyed glance. "Are you sure it was Kindred?" Another pause and then he nodded, even though Graham couldn't actually see him. "Yeah... sure. I'll be right there." He ended the call and gestured to Buffy. "The talk will have to wait. You're coming with me."
Buffy had been frowning through the phone call and now she just looked at him with wide-eyes before she indicated her love heart pyjama pants. "Do I at least get to change?"
In the wake of Blaise's dramatic exit, Riley was left feeling like the elusive Kindred had smacked him around the face a few times and then left him dangling over a very large cliff. He didn't know whether it just coincided with his fever spiking or what, but he broke into a bout of shivering that he just didn't seem to be able to stop. It wasn't like there was anyone there he could talk to and offload everything that had just happened. He couldn't called Graham. Graham really didn't like Buffy much these days. In fact, Graham didn't like Riley's ex wife either. He was like the typical sidekick, ready to hate on anyone that hurt his guy. Buffy hadn't been in good favour since she didn't follow Riley that night (even if she did, no one actually knew that at the time). So, talking to Graham was out, unless he wanted a lecture about getting messed up with the Slayer again. Rory had made a hasty exit, and it wasn't like Riley expected to get a whole lot of intelligent conversation out of the Scot about his lovelife. They didn't know each other, and he suspected they both had a shitload of trust issues, so that wouldn't work either.
It just all left Riley exhausted. When the penny dropped at the enormity of what Blaise had requested, Riley had promptly gone back to the bathroom and threw up for fifteen minutes straight. It succeeded in zapping what little energy he had left, so he had just stumbled his way back to his bed, curled up in a miserable ball and fell into a deep sleep, despite fearing he wouldn't be able to with everything going through his mind. He didn't have any realisation that that all happened a good sixteen hours ago. He had passed out around three in the afternoon, and slept right through the night. He also didn't have any realisation that Buffy had returned home with chicken soup around four in the afternoon and had a few failed attempts at waking him in the hours that followed before she finally just laid down next to him on the bed for lack of any other way to help. It was seven am the following morning now, and sometime during the night, Riley had proved he wasn't actually dead by ending up spooned securely up beind Buffy's back in his sleep. His face was buried in her back, and his arm wrapped around her waist as he slept on.
It was just like old times. Amazing old times.
Buffy's fingers curled into the pillow as she started to wake up, her mind fighting the sudden invasion of consciousness. She didn't want to think, she didn't want to be aware of the world around her. Then she made the realisation that Riley was spooned up behind her and there was no denying how nice it felt. How safe she felt, protected. Even a Slayer needed a safe harbour. Buffy moaned softly as she pushed back against him slightly and moved her hand to cover his as she gave it a squeeze. There was a part of her that could get used to this again.
It was the fact his nose was buried that actually ended being what woke Riley. It took him a few more moments to realise that he was really warm, too, and despite the fact it still felt like everything hurt all over, he wasn't uncomfortable. He made a soft noise that was a cross between a snort and "Hn" before he shifted just a little to realise he was wrapped around another body. A familiar body. Which meant that something was wrong with this picture. He hadn't woken up with someone in his bed like this for months, and it was enough to force him awake and get his eyes to open a little. He was looking at a back that his nose was squished up against, and there was blonde hair.
Buffy.
"Buffy..." he said hoarsely, pulling back just a little to analyse where he was. His brain had that cotton wool feeling and it took a little to get his bearings and not assume the last few years had been some sort of bad dream, and he was now waking up back in Sunnydale like nothing had happened. But then his sore head made itself known again and his upset stomach soon followed, causing him to put his head back down on the pillow with a soft grown. He didn't let go of her, though. Why didn't he let go of her?
Buffy's eyes snapped open at the sound of Riley's voice, and she heard the groan that followed and instantly made her concerned for him. She twisted in his arm without moving out of his hold and brushed the backs of her fingers against his cheek before she pressed her palm against his forehead to check for a temperature. "Morning. How are you feeling? You just didn't seem to wake up, so I gave up and joined you. I did get the soup... Chicken soup, not pigeon."
"It's morning? Jesus..." Riley mumbled, stretching a little but really making no other effort to move anywhere. "Um, a bit better I think. Less like I want to throw up, more like I want to climb in the fridge and sit there for a few hours with ice cubes strapped around me. Anything but chocolate croissant-" The flippant comment wasn't meant as anything, but it brought everything rushing back abruptly and he sat up, even if he was hit with a dizzy spell from moving too quickly. "Oh god... oh fuck."
Buffy sat up next to him, and rest her hand on his shoulder as she waited to see if Riley was going to faint. Her love heart pyjama pants were at odds with the camouflage army issue pants he was still wearing, and even her white tank top seemed bright now the sun was starting to seep through the cracks in the curtains. "What? Are you going to throw up? Is it go time? Do I smell? I haven't even been slaying!"
Riley took a few more moments to metaphorically crap himself, needing to swallow heavily to fight off the urge to puke again. The conversation with Blaise was back in his head, clear as a bell and he squeezed his eyes shut a little when the sunlight he just became aware of also felt like it was drilling into his brain. "That could be a yes, but just... please tell me you have spoken to Blaise like you said you were going to. How long have I been asleep? You said it was morning." He reached over her to turn the digital clock towards him. "It's morning. Shit. Buffy, you need to go and talk to him. You just... he won't be awake, but go and friggen camp out there til sundown if you need to."
Buffy raised her eyebrows as she stared at Riley, genuinely not sure if he was having a bizarre fit of some kind. Maybe the fever was starting to push him over the edge. "Huh? Well, no. I mean, I was going to but then I just kind of wound up walking around, and trying to get the soup. Then I came back here and just wanted to keep an eye on you. Why are you so worried about me talking to Blaise? It's seven in the morning. Surely I still can just go over there at sundown. Why do I need to camp out?"
Riley didn't actually know the complete answer to that. "I-I don't know, but it won't be a bad idea!" he protested with a slight huff, irritated at himself for trying to function below his means and failing miserably. He put a hand over his mouth as he tried to figure out the best way to tackle this without him coming out sounding like a complete jealous prick. That would be difficult though, considering there was a high chance he actually was just that. He turned and looked at her, and then went on to press his fingers to his aching forehead. If he didn't tell Buffy that Blaise had been here, and what he had said, Blaise would just push her totally out of his world, and Riley would be free to step in. Right? But then, if he didn't do what Blaise requested, Riley may as well kiss goodbye to his career, and he remembered what happened last time he tried that. This was all based on the fact that there was still a huge chance Buffy would never want him how he needed to be wanted. Maybe it was just time to staple up those old wounds and try to move on without her? "Because he's going to push you out of his world, Buffy. You hurt him. More than you realise."
Buffy's face instantly reflected pain. She felt like Riley had just punched her in the stomach and she sucked in a breath to try and recover. "What? Why... I didn't... I didn't do anything. Not to hu--Oh god, the smell. He could smell me. And you. And Rory. I forgot how freaky vampire noses could be. But I still don't... I don't get it. Why is he going to push me out? Are you sure?" Buffy's hand shook as she reached up to touch her hair, not actually sure what she was supposed to do with her hands right at that moment. Just that she needed to do something. Rory had told her to make a decision, as had Riley, but she really didn't think she'd have to make a decision this quickly. She still just assumed she had time. And being with Riley was nice. It was familiar, and part of her just wanted to be ready to love him. For this to be their time. The idea of being kicked out of Blaise's world though was awful.
"Look, Buffy, I..." Riley began, really struggling with this whole thing. He had just been getting his life back on track after the horrific turn of events with Sam, and now this all over again. Was his heart ever going to have a chance to stop hurting? "I don't know what was going on between you two. You say nothing, yet the look in his eyes says differently. I know enough to know that there was something, and obviously that something meant a whole lot more to him than it did to you. And if you have no intentions of anything else with him, then fine. Just back off and let him disappear back into his own world. You won't see him, you won't hear from him. You'll probably only hear of him. But if what you have been telling me is inaccurate, and you want something with him, you need to talk to him as soon as possible." He looked at her, wiping some sweat off his forehead. "He came here, Buffy. Earlier... yesterday, I mean. He has asked that my team take action to protect Kindred from any Slayer infiltration. He said he doesn't want any Slayer presence in his world. He wasn't joking, Buffy. Not in the slightest."
Buffy took a shuddering breath as she backed off the bed and nearly stumbled as she tried to find her footing. "Wh-What? No Slayer presence... None..." She pressed her hand to her forehead and the tears started to come thick and fast. "I would have never let them hurt him! Hurt the Kindred. But it wasn't like I could say anything about them to stop the girls from thinking all vampires are the same. I didn't even tell Xander, or Will. Not even Giles! Oh my god... I can't believe he'd just... If I hurt him, then punish me. Don't just assume that I would let them..." She wound up choking on the words before she came back over to the bed and dropped onto it heavily. "Riley, I messed up."
Riley pressed his lips together and swallowed as he came close to tears. He nodded a little in agreement, and really couldn't speak at first. It was like there was a huge lump stuck in his throat and he had to look away from her, staring at the wall. "I didn't assume anything, Buffy, but thank you for that confidence. I tried to tell him what you just told me, but he's made up his mind. I told him things I didn't even want to hear out loud to try and get him to see sense, but something has cut him deep. He's called it, and I need to do his bidding. He'll destroy me if I don't, Buffy. He has the power to literally eradicate me. I swore by one of the deepest contracts I would protect The Masquerade and Kindred, and the information I receive in the course of my job, I would take to my grave, whether I stay in the miltiary or not. A blood contract, Buffy," he told her pointedly. "He thinks the Slayers are a threat. He didn't waver on that point."
Buffy reached behind her to seek out Riley's hand as she gripped it, and tried to pull herself together, but it wasn't working. That one, peaceful moment at the edge of the Hellmouth when she'd looked back at the crater that had been Sunnydale and known that she'd destroyed it, that she'd changed the world... Defeated the First, it felt like a lifetime ago. There wasn't peace anymore, there wasn't happiness. How could she be happy when she'd created a world where she was the Big Bad? The exhaustion, the regret, guilt and emptiness hit her all at once and she broke down as she still held Riley's hand. "I never wanted you to be the one that was hurt," she got out. "You don't deserve this. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to... make it worse."
Riley pried his hand out of hers and looked at her seriously. "Buffy, I'm going to protect him and his Clans, whatever it takes. It's not just about the contract I made. I feel like I'm actually achieving something here. The vampires I have met here, the Kindred, they are nothing like what you know and what you're used to hunting. That's why I made him feed on me. He didn't do it as some freakish lusty obsession to have me. I forced him to do it so I could feel that it was different. He didn't want to touch me. He was willing to trust me. For the first time since you became the Slayer, you really gotta stop and realise that this time, you just don't have the information. And there is only one person who can give it to you how you deserve to have it. Only, he thinks that instead of you wanting it and wanting to understand him... wanting to like him... you just took it for your own purpose and stepped directly out into the beds of two other guys. You might be the Slayer, but you have only been doing it for a few years. These guys, some of them have been around for hundreds of years. Their values are old school. Loyal and trust trump everything else."
"I like him already! Of course I want to understand, and want it. I wanted it all. I just got scared, I wasn't sure he really wanted me to be there. That he wanted me. I didn't get it." She wiped her fingers against her eyes to try and brush away the tears with a sniff. "I started to doubt everything because why would he want me when he couldn't feed? And I know what you said. But I didn't know that before. I don't know anything, and I hate feeling stupid. I hate being forced to make assumptions that turn out wrong. What does your job even mean? Are you going to come back to Scotland and kick us out? Are you kicking me out of Paris now?"
"Then maybe you should have given him the time to tell you rather than going out and sleeping with someone else," Riley said quietly and pushed up off the bed. His clothes were soaked from the feverish sweat, and he didn't care anymore, he just started to strip down to his underwear to get out of it so he could get into something cleaner. It wasn't like she hadn't seen it all before. "You weren't forced to make any assumptions, you just did because you got impatient. You got frustrated. You made yourself stupid, no one else did that for you. That's a mistake you're going to have to live with and clean up all on your own. I'm not going in there to plead your case for you. You can't deny you've got a history of making incorrect assumptions, and yeah, Buffy, sometimes people are gonna get hurt because of that. You've been messed up in it all thinking all about how you feel, you haven't stopped to think how he is feeling too. I'm strangely getting dejavu here. Just know one thing, as much as it makes me want to throw up to say this because I don't think I ever really quite got over you and stupidly let myself think there might have been a chance we could give it another try, but unlike Angel who had no capacity to love you, Blaise can take someone and love them for literally an eternity. From how I saw him yesterday, though, I think you've maybe missed the boat. Hurts, doesn't it?"
Buffy nodded as her gaze turned to the floor and she stared at it numbly. How could she have been so stupid? Only there really was no way she could regret sleeping with Riley. It was something that needed to be done. A closure of some sort even if all it did was seem to open up old wounds. Especially for him, and that part she couldn't forgive herself for. As much as it always seemed to be proved otherwise, Buffy never wanted to hurt Riley. "I need to see him," she said quietly. "I have to see him. He can't kick me out without talking to me face to face."
Riley nodded a little also and then sighed as he pulled on a clean t-shirt. "And Buffy? I know this is all about you and... whatever, but can you do me a favour? If I'm looking at a cute girl and it seems like I might actually be interested in her, please don't pull the jealous pseudo-girlfriend routine again. Or judge me on the fact I am even looking. Before the other night, I literally had not gotten laid since my divorce and I really don't want to die the lonely dude that was divorced before he even hit thirty. I'd like to have a chance at finding someone who makes me happy, too, and you made your choice. You don't get to judge me on mine. Not anymore," he mumbled tiredly.
Buffy brushed the tears from her eyes before she stood up again and circled the bed to slip her arms around Riley's waist when he'd pulled the t-shirt on. "I'm sorry, I'll keep my ex-jealousy to myself, I promise. You can look at any girl you want. But that waitress really was cute. I'd do her. You should go back to the restaurant, maybe try again."
Riley shook his head. "No... no, it's stupid. I'm too tired, I couldn't be bothered. Let alone the fact that I don't even want to think about food right now. This was just for future reference. It's time to keep rolling forward, not continuously backwards," he decided. He gave her a brief hug and then stepped back. "But you gotta try and talk to him. Even if you're too late, still try. And I'm gonna go back to bed." Only, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, his cell phone started ringing and he turned to frown at it, seriously contemplating not picking it up. He didn't have the conscience for that, though. He grabbed for it, swearing softly and then answered it. "Sergeant Fi-- Graham? Wait, wait. Slow down. Where are you? I can hardly hear what you're saying from all the interference."
He paused, listening but was soon piercing Buffy with a wide-eyed glance. "Are you sure it was Kindred?" Another pause and then he nodded, even though Graham couldn't actually see him. "Yeah... sure. I'll be right there." He ended the call and gestured to Buffy. "The talk will have to wait. You're coming with me."
Buffy had been frowning through the phone call and now she just looked at him with wide-eyes before she indicated her love heart pyjama pants. "Do I at least get to change?"