Ready
Well, I am now more ready than ever to go home. More than that, I'm very, very hurt, to be honest. Tonight was my going away "party," and... no one came. Ok, not NO ONE. But none of the adults came except for Nubia and Jumey. Just them, me, and the kids. Um...ok? When I think of all the people who could have, should have come, it hurts so much that they didn't even acknowledge my leaving. At least Mey called this morning to let me know she couldn't come. But Veronica, Clara, Manuel Sr, Manuel, and Alejandro? No one from their entire family came?? So none of them are gonna say goodbye to me? Or "thank you"? And they were ALL at Rancho today. None of them even mentioned that they wouldn't be able to make it. And what about Carlos, Aaron, Dayanna, Kathi...? Why don't any of them care? I feel like no one here, except for Mey, has become my friend. Three months, and none of them have cared about me. I am feeling so unloved, so underappreciated. Now I'm thinking maybe none of them even like me. Like, not just that they don't consider me a friend, but perhaps they straight up DISLIKE me. No wonder no one ever invited me anywhere or wanted to go with when I invited them places, if that's the case. I simply can't believe it. I felt so lame at the party. I seriously just wanted to cry. Like, hi, I'm Leah, my only friends here are 10-year-olds. Thank God the kids were great and so affectionate, asking me not to forget them and wanting pictures with me and everything. Otherwise I simply would have lost it, kind of like I am now. I just don't understand!!! And how do you mention this to someone? "Hey Veronica, I'm incredibly hurt that you didn't come to say goodbye at the party you helped me plan or even call or anything. Ok, so, now that you know how shitty that was of you, I'm gonna go back to my country. Bye." Yeah, I think I'll pass on that.
I miss my friends. I miss having friends. I miss the people who actually care about me and invite me places and take me up on my invitations and WANT to spend time with me. I miss my Manuel and the way I know I'm loved when I'm with him. I need to be with him again. I'm ready to go home now.
I miss my friends. I miss having friends. I miss the people who actually care about me and invite me places and take me up on my invitations and WANT to spend time with me. I miss my Manuel and the way I know I'm loved when I'm with him. I need to be with him again. I'm ready to go home now.