Everyone, please check your calendars and tell me the date.
Oh yes...the 20th.
September 20th and if my calculations are correct, that is exactly 6 months after a tragic event that affected alot of us.
I remember March 20th, I was at a dance competition and a little bit before we were gonna go on, we were back stage and I remember people talking about an accident that day. They said Teddy died, but I thought it was regular PC gossip, and assumed he'd just gotten in a bad accident..or it was a different person maybe one of Teddy's friends and his name had just gotten mixed in. I remember our company getting in a huuuge fight, and i thought that was the end of my little meaningless world. Then I found out the accident was true... and Teddy wasn't with us, he was with God.
How about the following week...yeah I remember that. I didn't want the sympathy everyone was reaching out for. I've already lost a brother... it wasn't completely new. Plus, I felt really guilty. I've known Teddy since i was 5. So why was I so reluctant to talk to people. I saw him in the hall just a few weeks earlier, but I "didn't have time" to try to catch up on things with him. I was late to class, again. I never regretted anything more than not stopping that day. Remember the people passing out pudding, excluding people who "didn't know how Teddy ate it" woww... I'm sure Teddy loved watching that. Friendly, loving, accepting.. yeah.
So we all showed up at the funeral. Crying. balling. still in disbelief. I couldn't look at the pictures of him from when he was younger. I still can't. It makes me feel like I'm right back with him, trick or treating or on the playground or in Chelsea's backyard just being kids. I know I cried alot... I remember balling on erik's shoulder..and him crying just as hard. I remember some of the strongest ppl at our school breaking down and crying because it was an accident, Teddy wasn't supposed to die..he was too young. or maybe he was supposed to die. Anyone remember the endless promises you made about being a better person? Yeah how many of those did you keep? Cause i remember people saying how they were going to change, and live their life like they were gonna die tomorrow. well....alot of you might be smiling if you died tomorrow cuz you had a good time. But will you see Teddy if you die tomorrow? depends...are you going to heaven? think about it.
The thing that truly puzzles me is how after the funeral, I over heard people planning to go to the beach and have fun. I couldn't have fun that day. I cried at work, all day and all night. People kept asking me if i was okay and i kept lying and saying yes.
But who could blame the beach-goers? it was a beautiful, bittersweet day. no, it was a perfect day. Perfect just like Teddy.
I hope you had the time of your life.
love,
Annamaria
September 20th and if my calculations are correct, that is exactly 6 months after a tragic event that affected alot of us.
I remember March 20th, I was at a dance competition and a little bit before we were gonna go on, we were back stage and I remember people talking about an accident that day. They said Teddy died, but I thought it was regular PC gossip, and assumed he'd just gotten in a bad accident..or it was a different person maybe one of Teddy's friends and his name had just gotten mixed in. I remember our company getting in a huuuge fight, and i thought that was the end of my little meaningless world. Then I found out the accident was true... and Teddy wasn't with us, he was with God.
How about the following week...yeah I remember that. I didn't want the sympathy everyone was reaching out for. I've already lost a brother... it wasn't completely new. Plus, I felt really guilty. I've known Teddy since i was 5. So why was I so reluctant to talk to people. I saw him in the hall just a few weeks earlier, but I "didn't have time" to try to catch up on things with him. I was late to class, again. I never regretted anything more than not stopping that day. Remember the people passing out pudding, excluding people who "didn't know how Teddy ate it" woww... I'm sure Teddy loved watching that. Friendly, loving, accepting.. yeah.
So we all showed up at the funeral. Crying. balling. still in disbelief. I couldn't look at the pictures of him from when he was younger. I still can't. It makes me feel like I'm right back with him, trick or treating or on the playground or in Chelsea's backyard just being kids. I know I cried alot... I remember balling on erik's shoulder..and him crying just as hard. I remember some of the strongest ppl at our school breaking down and crying because it was an accident, Teddy wasn't supposed to die..he was too young. or maybe he was supposed to die. Anyone remember the endless promises you made about being a better person? Yeah how many of those did you keep? Cause i remember people saying how they were going to change, and live their life like they were gonna die tomorrow. well....alot of you might be smiling if you died tomorrow cuz you had a good time. But will you see Teddy if you die tomorrow? depends...are you going to heaven? think about it.
The thing that truly puzzles me is how after the funeral, I over heard people planning to go to the beach and have fun. I couldn't have fun that day. I cried at work, all day and all night. People kept asking me if i was okay and i kept lying and saying yes.
But who could blame the beach-goers? it was a beautiful, bittersweet day. no, it was a perfect day. Perfect just like Teddy.
I hope you had the time of your life.
love,
Annamaria