omgoshhhh i spent time doing my makeup for church today, and now i'm crying it off but i love you! so it's okay hehe you know, i'm just happy that i was there for you when you needed me most. that's what friendship is about. being there when you want someone there, when you need someone there, and even when you really want to be alone. :-P oh my and to say that i saved a life tonite...that's soooo powerful, i can't believe it still...it's like "God planned my night so that I'd be awake to read ur lj and talk to you" and u know what we really did last night, we strengthened a friendship and let God back into both our lives. i know it doesn't seem that way but i was struggling in my faith before last night, then suddenly it was like God was hitting me over the head with a Bible lol just make this week great.... take everything slow..one day at a time one week at a time. when u feel bad about something rememeber to think like this: yesterday i slammed my finger in a door (not too hard though lol) and my first thought after "oww" was "some people don't have a finger to slam in a door" it was weird how that as the first thing to come to mind, but it did and i think it's an awesome way to think about things! lol so i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu peace and love sista
We did strengthen a friendship and i'm glad God kept you awake last night for me to talk to bc i really needed it bad. When i woke up this morning i started crying so much bc i thought about everythign we talked about last night and it made me so happy knowing i have you there, a best friend like you, you are amazing. And then i started crying even more bc i thought about how i have Harry and how lucky i am to have him, someone who is sooo perfect for me but then Anna, i got REALLY REALLY scared bc i thought, omg i feel like i'm gonna lose him, i don't know where the feeling came from, but then i got really scared, i was like omg i can't and i feel like lately, idk, like yesterday he didn't talk to me and it made me feel like something was def. wrong and i was like omg no i need him and i seriously do love him with ALL MY HEART, and i feel like lately i've been, idk burdening him, bc he is so busy, he has sooo many things going on, his job that he works so hard at, his new car, his friends, he'll be starting college in a few weeks and he has alot to deal with and he has a girlfriend(me haha obviously) and i feel like me getting mad when he doesn't talk to me and me bothering him to call me and talk to me and being needy and needing him there is adding more to what he has to deal with and i don't want to lose him bc of it and me getting mad at him and telling him he needs to make time for me, i realize hes busy, but i want to be with him and be a big part of his life, but am i asking too much and stressing him out even more? i don't want to be too needy and lose him bc of it. And i thought about how lucky i am to have him and how so many girls want a guy like him and deserve a guy like him soo much more than me and that scared me too bc i DON'T DESERVE HIM AT ALL, he deserves a girl soooo much better than me and i do everything i can to please him and make him so happy and for him to want to be with me and think of me and be like i love Valerie and she makes me happy, bc when i think of him thats what i think, i love Harry, he makes me so happy im so lucky and i feel like he deserves more, a prettier girl, a girl he can see more, u know?im just sressing too much, it scares me though! but i guess i need to take it day by day and not worri so much, thats whats going to ruin things for me. i am soooo glad i have him though and i loveeeee himmmm with allllllllllllllll my heart i would and will do ANYTHING for him, anything. haha sorry this is so long i had to tell somebody and you are such a great friend to me and you understand everythign i say and always know what to say. i loveeeeee youuuuu sooo much! <3333333 foreverrrrr lylas<3
don't worry about things with Harry, it seems like all he needs is a supportive gf. so all those things that you said make him so busy you can support him with but only do it genuinely...like think of what an ego boost that would be if you were like "harry it's really amazing whta you've done with your car!" or "your boss should be so pleased having a great employee like you, you're so devoted" well maybe a bit less cheesy haha but u get it i got that same losing feeling this morning in the car and i picked up my cell ready to call erik then i was like "wait, i know erik and i know he's not in this to hurt me, he likes me and there's no reason for me to call every 10 minutes and make sure everythings still good" haha i talk myself in and out of alot of things (not like crazy person style but like self control kind of... like inner thoughts) i will be here for you always, bcuz best friends do that! haha jp well it's moreso because i love youuuuuuu and you're amazing... never forget that. when you feel not good enough you just have to remember that people do spend their time iwth you for a reason, they call you bcuz they love you and they stay up late talking to you and leave 6465315768 lj comments to you, bcuz i love youuuuuuu! haha
you know, i'm just happy that i was there for you when you needed me most. that's what friendship is about. being there when you want someone there, when you need someone there, and even when you really want to be alone. :-P
oh my and to say that i saved a life tonite...that's soooo powerful, i can't believe it still...it's like "God planned my night so that I'd be awake to read ur lj and talk to you"
and u know what we really did last night, we strengthened a friendship and let God back into both our lives. i know it doesn't seem that way but i was struggling in my faith before last night, then suddenly it was like God was hitting me over the head with a Bible lol
just make this week great.... take everything slow..one day at a time one week at a time. when u feel bad about something rememeber to think like this:
yesterday i slammed my finger in a door (not too hard though lol) and my first thought after "oww" was "some people don't have a finger to slam in a door" it was weird how that as the first thing to come to mind, but it did and i think it's an awesome way to think about things! lol so i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
peace and love sista
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lylas<3
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well maybe a bit less cheesy haha but u get it
i got that same losing feeling this morning in the car and i picked up my cell ready to call erik then i was like "wait, i know erik and i know he's not in this to hurt me, he likes me and there's no reason for me to call every 10 minutes and make sure everythings still good" haha i talk myself in and out of alot of things (not like crazy person style but like self control kind of... like inner thoughts)
i will be here for you always, bcuz best friends do that! haha jp well it's moreso because i love youuuuuuu and you're amazing... never forget that. when you feel not good enough you just have to remember that people do spend their time iwth you for a reason, they call you bcuz they love you and they stay up late talking to you and leave 6465315768 lj comments to you, bcuz i love youuuuuuu! haha
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