Expectations.
I am going into this with no expectations.
I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a great cliff, and I could be either the most powerful woman in the world, or the weakest. If I outstretch my arms wide and close my eyes and feel the cool canyon air on my face, I can see the orange light of the sunset through my eyelids, and for a moment I feel at peace. As my eyes flutter open, the sunset light pours into my eyes and I feel the warmth of the earth come from deep within my chest. If I begin to sit for too long, thoughts rush in. Thoughts, situations, stories, reactions to those thoughts....all of which could become toxic.
I take another breath.
I begin to focus on that moment. The inhale, and the end of the exhale. My mind calms down and I begin to enter the place in my head which no entity can enter unless invited.
I begin to rationalize my thoughts as they slowly stop trying to squeeze through the gates.
"If I go into this with no expectations, these thoughts cease to exist. "
He told me about how he no longer expects anything from life. I noticed how this came from a wise place in his mind. His experience, his words.
I totally overthink things way too much. I have to be patient with him, he lives in the moment. I live in my head... unless there's people around. In which case, I'm fine. I miss him, but I'm fine.
I've already deduced that the most painful part of our love is the time I have to be away from him. I am going into this with no expectations, only patience.
I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a great cliff, and I could be either the most powerful woman in the world, or the weakest. If I outstretch my arms wide and close my eyes and feel the cool canyon air on my face, I can see the orange light of the sunset through my eyelids, and for a moment I feel at peace. As my eyes flutter open, the sunset light pours into my eyes and I feel the warmth of the earth come from deep within my chest. If I begin to sit for too long, thoughts rush in. Thoughts, situations, stories, reactions to those thoughts....all of which could become toxic.
I take another breath.
I begin to focus on that moment. The inhale, and the end of the exhale. My mind calms down and I begin to enter the place in my head which no entity can enter unless invited.
I begin to rationalize my thoughts as they slowly stop trying to squeeze through the gates.
"If I go into this with no expectations, these thoughts cease to exist. "
He told me about how he no longer expects anything from life. I noticed how this came from a wise place in his mind. His experience, his words.
I totally overthink things way too much. I have to be patient with him, he lives in the moment. I live in my head... unless there's people around. In which case, I'm fine. I miss him, but I'm fine.
I've already deduced that the most painful part of our love is the time I have to be away from him. I am going into this with no expectations, only patience.