(no subject)
I have a lot on my mind
I am sitting here holding back stinging tears
*le sigh*
nothing is working out lately
I am trying realyl hard in school
but there is always something more
I cannot fail this year
I want to get into montclare
I want to go to college
I want to succeed.
I am thinking about taking out my saing bonds to fix my moms car,
So i can go get my permit,
She can just pay me back later.
My dad still hasn't gone for his surgery
I just realized how serious the surgery is
they actually hae to remove his vertibre
and put metal rods in place of bones
Just so he doesn't become paralyzed.
=\
but he is at home in bed with fever so they have to wait.
Adam and I haven't been talking much
And it kills me.
I feel so unimportant to him
and no matter how much I try to confront him about how I feel
he just gets mad we fight he apoligizes
and nothing changes for more then a day.
I feel like anything I ahd taht was stable is now
crumbling from beneath me
and I have no choice
there is nothing to grab on to
no one is trying to catch me
i am just watching everything around me fall apart
the metal bars are rusting
the cement is breaking away
The paint is faded
....
I dunno...
It's just really hard.
I just want to curl up in my bed and never leave it.
I really don't want to go to school tomorrow
but I have to because if I don't
my mom will make me stay in all weekend
and that wouldn't be good.
I need to get out
being in the house causes me a lot of stress.
Well... I am gonna go
try to get in contact with adam again.
- Nicole Emilie
this isn't real life...
I am sitting here holding back stinging tears
*le sigh*
nothing is working out lately
I am trying realyl hard in school
but there is always something more
I cannot fail this year
I want to get into montclare
I want to go to college
I want to succeed.
I am thinking about taking out my saing bonds to fix my moms car,
So i can go get my permit,
She can just pay me back later.
My dad still hasn't gone for his surgery
I just realized how serious the surgery is
they actually hae to remove his vertibre
and put metal rods in place of bones
Just so he doesn't become paralyzed.
=\
but he is at home in bed with fever so they have to wait.
Adam and I haven't been talking much
And it kills me.
I feel so unimportant to him
and no matter how much I try to confront him about how I feel
he just gets mad we fight he apoligizes
and nothing changes for more then a day.
I feel like anything I ahd taht was stable is now
crumbling from beneath me
and I have no choice
there is nothing to grab on to
no one is trying to catch me
i am just watching everything around me fall apart
the metal bars are rusting
the cement is breaking away
The paint is faded
....
I dunno...
It's just really hard.
I just want to curl up in my bed and never leave it.
I really don't want to go to school tomorrow
but I have to because if I don't
my mom will make me stay in all weekend
and that wouldn't be good.
I need to get out
being in the house causes me a lot of stress.
Well... I am gonna go
try to get in contact with adam again.
- Nicole Emilie
this isn't real life...