(no subject)
Solitaire mailed me some good advice that I decided to follow through as soon as I get off work. He told me that I should try to be friends with Richard, instead of rushing into everything like a fool. And he's right, I've been so busy feeling myself in love with Richard that I don't know a lot about him, his likes, his dislikes...I don't even know what Richard favorite colour is! I suppose it's a boring one like blue or brown. I cannot imagine him liking pink as well as I do. Maybe I ought to think of dying my hair pink?
What an awful thought! I must get rid of that--so I left work early today, Mr. Higgins told me I should have supper with them, but I declined the offer. I wanted to catch Richard before he goes home. I would feel awkward being so friendly to him if I know I was a few metres away from his inner sanctuary, his study room and bedroom. He almost slipped through my fingers, I was looking the wrong way when he stepped out of the building. Fortunately I recognized him and called out. He turned and saw me running to him. When we were near enough to talk to each other without shouting he asked how I've been.
For a moment I thought he actually missed me, missed me the way I missed him, then I realized that wasn't the case, he just noticed that I didn't pass by anymore after the rolls incident. He must think he offended me in some way, I quickly disabused him of the notion. I made this excuse of needing so much time spent at work, and he said that's good. At this point I would've brushed him off as an insect if he made this comment to me, but if it came from him any praise is worth a thousand hurts. It is impossible for me to hate him. He noticed that still I haven't been eating well, and asked how my life has been. I told him that work was good, that I actually thought of getting some schooling done, and that I came by to say hullo. He shrugged and replied that work was fine, and he might have his best friend over at his flat over lent. I felt jealousy flare in my heart for a moment, and in my head I flatly declared that I didn't want anything to do with him in a romantic way.
We were going to be friends. Friends, no more. Friends, until later. I said I was on my way to A, and he said he'll walk me partways, he was on the same path. I wondered why he didn't mention the girl I saw him dating. Was it because he thought it best not to have us pitch against each other, when he could have two lovelies at his feet. He only has to say the word, and I will be there. Unusual, because I don't want to commit to the idea of us being together forever. Let's not lie to ourselves; if love was forever I should not be thinking of this, I should be thinking of supper with him. He asked if I'd want to have dinner with him, and I declined. I know we're going to have these meetings again, so we could be friends, but it's hard.
It's going to be so hard. So hard. Would it be hurt the hardships?
What an awful thought! I must get rid of that--so I left work early today, Mr. Higgins told me I should have supper with them, but I declined the offer. I wanted to catch Richard before he goes home. I would feel awkward being so friendly to him if I know I was a few metres away from his inner sanctuary, his study room and bedroom. He almost slipped through my fingers, I was looking the wrong way when he stepped out of the building. Fortunately I recognized him and called out. He turned and saw me running to him. When we were near enough to talk to each other without shouting he asked how I've been.
For a moment I thought he actually missed me, missed me the way I missed him, then I realized that wasn't the case, he just noticed that I didn't pass by anymore after the rolls incident. He must think he offended me in some way, I quickly disabused him of the notion. I made this excuse of needing so much time spent at work, and he said that's good. At this point I would've brushed him off as an insect if he made this comment to me, but if it came from him any praise is worth a thousand hurts. It is impossible for me to hate him. He noticed that still I haven't been eating well, and asked how my life has been. I told him that work was good, that I actually thought of getting some schooling done, and that I came by to say hullo. He shrugged and replied that work was fine, and he might have his best friend over at his flat over lent. I felt jealousy flare in my heart for a moment, and in my head I flatly declared that I didn't want anything to do with him in a romantic way.
We were going to be friends. Friends, no more. Friends, until later. I said I was on my way to A, and he said he'll walk me partways, he was on the same path. I wondered why he didn't mention the girl I saw him dating. Was it because he thought it best not to have us pitch against each other, when he could have two lovelies at his feet. He only has to say the word, and I will be there. Unusual, because I don't want to commit to the idea of us being together forever. Let's not lie to ourselves; if love was forever I should not be thinking of this, I should be thinking of supper with him. He asked if I'd want to have dinner with him, and I declined. I know we're going to have these meetings again, so we could be friends, but it's hard.
It's going to be so hard. So hard. Would it be hurt the hardships?