dirty deeds...
Dear H,
Well I rode off my wave of feeling good. I've applied to dorms and hopefully that will be alright. I worry because I am depressed and I have a hard time making friends. I don't want to be defined by my disorder, but I can't deny that it is a part of me. Its a major part of me that I can no longer ignore. I've gone most of my life ignoring the true issues within myself. Everyone says college is where you discover yourself. I am 23 years old, already went to JC and its like, well-I know myself pretty damn well. I hate when people talk about me, I hate when I know i've been mentioned or any thing like that. I like my privacy and alone time. I don't want a lot of friends, thats not why i'm going. I want to go to experience life. To do things i've never done and to push my limits. That can go either two ways... totally good and i'll be better for it, or I can just become even more introverted and more of a hermit. It is scary and i'm going to be all by myself.
Oh well, I need to grow a pair ha ha
but i've got to do what i've got to... go down the path of uncertainty and just risk it. I have nothing to lose, it's worth a shot. Maybe this will make my life a little more worthwhile.
Well I rode off my wave of feeling good. I've applied to dorms and hopefully that will be alright. I worry because I am depressed and I have a hard time making friends. I don't want to be defined by my disorder, but I can't deny that it is a part of me. Its a major part of me that I can no longer ignore. I've gone most of my life ignoring the true issues within myself. Everyone says college is where you discover yourself. I am 23 years old, already went to JC and its like, well-I know myself pretty damn well. I hate when people talk about me, I hate when I know i've been mentioned or any thing like that. I like my privacy and alone time. I don't want a lot of friends, thats not why i'm going. I want to go to experience life. To do things i've never done and to push my limits. That can go either two ways... totally good and i'll be better for it, or I can just become even more introverted and more of a hermit. It is scary and i'm going to be all by myself.
Oh well, I need to grow a pair ha ha
but i've got to do what i've got to... go down the path of uncertainty and just risk it. I have nothing to lose, it's worth a shot. Maybe this will make my life a little more worthwhile.