vacation all i ever wanted
Dear H,
Well so much to write, not even sure
where to begin. So many things have happened, but I suppose I will
just start with this shit now... Good stuff, fuck the negative lol
Okay so I've been accepted into two
colleges that I wanted. Derrik, Trina's boyfriend, said I had the
world at my fingertips now... Its true I'd suppose. It's going to be
an adventure, but I'm going to try and go to school up at Humbolt. I
need to get my ass on top of shit to get into dorms and all that
jazz. I'm nervous and sad. I don't want to leave my mom or sisters.
It's like we're in a shitty situation and me going off to college
will feel like ditching them. That's the last thing I want... I've
never been away from home and like... it is kind of freaky to think
about. But I feel like it is time... I can't be sad because I mean...
the worst thing is I'm going to end up back with my mom because I
couldn't hack it.
It's so cool just to think that I
actually made it. This was my goal and I've achieved it!! It's time
to grab life by the horns and just ride that shit... But I'm really
sad because like I said... I've never really been away from my
family. And the lawyer situation has taken like... a huge left turn.
Petior is getting his license taken away, and he has to get us a new
representative. So everyone is left in limbo, just waiting to hear
from him and who is going to take on the case. But the good thing is
if he doesn't he will be in breech of contract. We can sue him back
for all the money that we've put into him and all that shit.
But I know I have a lot of thinking to
do. I chose those two colleges for two different reasons. One for
art, one for history... I have to decide which one I want, and it
sucks because I'm passionate about both. But I'm leaning towards
history because its a career and I can also still do art and all that
shit. Or I can just stick out one more semester at LMC and be more
prepared to transfer. I honestly applied not thinking I would get it,
and I never really thought it all through. I have just gotta think
really hard and reflect on everything. Its gotta be some deep ass
thinking.
Okay, well I hate typing on this little
notebook so I shall wrap this up. Honestly that was just the tip of
the iceberg. There is so much more shit that has gone on that I just
don't even know how to address. Like, uhm, St. Helena, foreclosure,
living in the car, homelessness... joblessness... Not even going to
school so its as if I'm just … fucked off from everything that went
down... oh man...
But you know, I've come to terms with a
lot of shit that has gone down, and I'll write an epic entry about it
in the future <3
SSDD