"i am the instrument of god."
I finally got around to watching “The Hand of God”. Unsurprisingly, since it’s on the same disc, I also re-watched “Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down” because I was in the mood for some humor. I’ll have review posts for “Colonial Day” and “Kobol’s Last Gleaming, Part I” (and probably Part II) up in the next couple of days. No sense in spamming, right?
Previously on Battlestar Galactica: Laura has cancer, Kara bitched Lee out about acting like the CAG, Tigh used some reverse psychology to get Kara out of Sickbay, Kara trained the nuggets, Doral and Six talked about Sharon and Helo.
Laura is giving a press conference, because the fleet is running low on fuel. They’ve been in space for 36 days and their tylium fuel reserves are down to %5. So you can imagine people are kind of freaking about this. The press is actually being really calm as they ask their questions, though, and it’s going rather well, until Laura starts hallucinating snakes on the podium (I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFRAKKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFRAKKING PODIUM! *cough* sorry couldn’t resist move along).
To quote the great Indiana Jones, “Why did it have to be snakes?” Ugh. I am not a snake person at all. They’re creepy. Laura’s look of terror agrees with me. Laura is struggling to answer their questions and the press is noticing something is up. Laura tries to compose herself and ends the conference. There’s a cool shot of Laura’s hands on the podium and there not being any snakes and then when we change back to her POV, the snakes are there.
Boomer and Crashdown are looking for tylium, because they are the old Racetrack and Skulls. And because they are the old Racetrack and Skulls, they find tylium! Except, again, because they are the old Racetrack and Skulls and bad things always follow a good discovery, the asteroid is crawling with Cylons. They hightail it out of there, sad that they are no longer heroes. :(
I have to say, I miss the days when Boomer and Crashdown were funny. It’s so sad to know that Crashdown cracks under the pressure and Boomer is, well, Boomer. They were kind of adorable, cheering about finding tylium, teasing one another.
Bill, Lee, Saul, and Gaeta are talking about the asteroid and how the Cylons are probably staking out any other fuel sources as well. Lee suggests sending the raptors out further, and Tigh derides it for using up all their fuel. Bill is silent until finally he says they’re going to fight the Cylons for the asteroid. Cue everyone looking at him like he has gone off the deep end. But he is the Commander and he is AWESOME so of course his crazy ideas will work.
Not that they know that yet, but I’m just saying. DO NOT DOUBT BILL ADAMA AND HIS CRAZY ASS IDEAS. They always work! Even when they shouldn’t! Because he is just. that. AWESOME.
Speaking of crazy ass ideas and just. that. AWESOME., Kara is giving a briefing to her nuggets. Bill comes in, because when you have a crazy ass idea and you need someone to come up with an equally crazy ass plan, you turn to Kara Thrace. I bet if Kara had been on Galactica instead of New Caprica, she could have helped plan the rescue and they wouldn’t have lost Pegasus. I’m just saying.
Laura talks to Priestess Elosha, played by the wonderful Lorena Gale. Elosha was so cool! I hate that they killed her off. It was pretty cool to see her again in “The Hub”, even if it was just a dream!Elosha or something. I wish dream!Elosha had stuck around, too, because she never would have let Laura just fade away like she did. (Even if it is kind of her fault that Laura became ALL ABOUT BILL ADAMA. See what Jane Espenson does to these characters? That is the reason I am worried about The Plan. I can handle massive retcon, but character!fail not so much.)
We get some exposition about Pythia and her prophecies, but as we all know now, Pythia got a lot of things wrong. But what oracle doesn’t get a few things wrong now and then? Besides, she was probably on chamalla and she was stuck in an asylum seeing scary blonde women in red dresses, not to mention dating Saul Tigh’s father, so she had a lot on her plate. We can forgive her a few mistakes, right?
Speaking of Pythia, I have not personally read the Final Five comics (because I cannot find it anywhere at any store that sells comics near to me), but I always thought the best crack idea ever was that Kara Thrace was Saul and Ellen’s granddaughter (through Daniel). I love that the comics proved me wrong and instead made Kara (or season four Kara, at least, who I think is supposed to be Aurora) Saul’s mother. That’s really just too hilarious, even if it isn’t really canon. It really should be, because the Cylons in the actual show weren’t messed up enough.
Also? If season four Kara is Aurora and Aurora is the Pythia Saul’s father marries and procreates with, that means Saul Tigh’s mom was a goddess. So Saul’s technically a demi-god. See? BEST CRACK EVER.
Anyway, back to the show. Lee is telling Kara their plan, over the glowy table with all the models and stuff. I forget what the table is called. Anyway, Kara is Not Impressed with the plan and says as much. Tigh is even less pleased with this whole thing since now Kara is involved and snarks about it. Starbuck being Starbuck snarks back about his marital problems, and Bill tells them to be quiet, because they have some important planning to do.
Starbuck begins telling us the plan, and we’ve been joined by Laura. She is concerned about casualties as well as the chance the Cylons might come while they’re getting the tylium. Bill gives one of his speeches and says, “Sometimes you gotta roll the hard six,” and Laura okays the plan.
Because Baltar is their Cylon Expert, he gets called in to look at recon photos of the base and tell them what they need to hit to destroy the base, but not damage the ore. If only he could tell them that his expertise lies with the tall, blonde humanoid models instead of things like tylium refineries. He retreats to his fantasy world to talk to Head!Six, who preaches about letting God into his heart so he can guide him or something. I am fascinated by Head!Six’s shoes, because my God, look at the heel on them! Seriously.
Gaius picks a place at random and points. Because he is one lucky son of a bitch, he is right. Head!Six tells him God doesn’t always speak in words and Gaius is actually really kind of worried because hasn’t he already nearly killed humanity? It’s kind of sweet, except this is Gaius and he has about 1246457452253453 more almost-redemptions to go through before he becomes a good guy for reals.
Starbuck, who is still suffering from her knee injury all the way back in “You Can’t Go Home Again”, is in the exercise room. She’s determined to be back in the cockpit for the mission, but Bill’s not having it with that injury. They have a little showdown, because she feels like she needs to be on the mission, but Bill nixes it.
Naturally, Kara goes to talk to Lee about the mission. She’s using Starbuck Psychology on him, but Lee doesn’t need someone telling him to not over-think something, because he’s Lee. I don’t know why Starbuck thought it was a good idea to do this, but there you go. Poor guy probably felt bad enough already, you know?
On Cylon-occupied Caprica, Helo and Sharon are in someone’s barn because they need a place to sleep for the night. They’ve also raided someone’s pantry and Helo is talking about what they want to eat. Sharon is feeling sick and Helo, being Helo, thinks she’s not taking her anti-radiation meds. Helo darling, you are such an idiot. While I can forgive you for not catching on to the fact that she’s a Cylon, you probably should have figured out the pregnancy thing a little quicker than this. (Though I guess I would have asked about the radiation meds too, but come on. You do remember that you had sex without any protection, right?)
Lee is hanging out at the hanger deck because he is concerned he will frak up the mission. Thank you for helping, Kara. Bill comes down and gives him an Adama Pep Talk, guaranteed to give him confidence. Oh, and a lighter his father used to carry into court cases, because Joseph Adama is apparently a superstitious man (seriously, pencil breaking and a lucky lighter). We also get the Adama theme, the proper name I don’t know but want to say is “Wander My Friends”, and it’s kind of awesome even if you do wonder why there’s all this Celtic music for this family.
Anyway. Lee bemoans that everyone feels like Starbuck would do better on the mission and Bill says he doesn’t, but I think he’s kind of lying, because Starbuck probably would do better on this mission but Lee is his son and he can’t say that. Which, honestly, I don’t think Lee would do bad on the mission either - and the show backs me up on this, duh - but he still wouldn’t do as awesomely as Kara would.
Back on Caprica, Helo and Sharon are sleeping sweetly. Then they hear Centurions and Helo looks out and sees a Six, who looks exactly like the Six that Sharon shot when she made her reappearance. Helo is freaked out, but Sharon is focused on getting out of there and hoping that will distract him from any questions. And it still takes him until the end of “Colonial Day” to realize she’s a Cylon. Oh, Helo.
Galactica jumps into position in the asteroid field. Also present are Gaius Baltar and Laura Roslin, because if there’s anywhere you want your president and Cylon expert, it’s on the battleship going into battle. Not even going to ask what the logic behind that one was.
Down on the deck, Galen is looking at something. Cally is chewing gum. Everyone is waiting. Boomer and Crashdown are in a raptor, watching the Cylons. They relay that the Raiders have taken the bait, and Bill orders Gaeta who tells Dee to launch Strike Force 1. The deck scurries into activity as pilots jump into vipers. Kara, using a cane, walks into the war room and asks how many Raiders.
She continues to worry about Lee and Bill tells her Lee isn’t the problem. The problem is that she’s not in control. Some more things are said, Kara snaps she never wanted this responsibility, and Bill points out the Cylons never asked them what they wanted. Crashdown reports 50+ Raiders have moved to intercept the strike force and Baltar immediately asks what that means. Starbuck clarifies it for him: “It means that a Cylon patrol spotted our attack force. The base sent out 50 more Raiders to intercept.”
Laura points out that the decoys were supposed to take care of that, and Bill says the Cylons were too smart. Kara curses, realizing her plan is falling apart. For a change, most of the action takes place off-screen. We see some of it, but for the most part, we’re stuck listening just like Kara is. Baltar is right when he says it sounds awful.
Bill aborts the strike force and the Cylons turn on the Galactica. The Cylons heard the recall and now the wave that was heading for the decoys is coming for them. Baltar asks when are they going to launch the reserve Vipers and Bill tells him everything is on the board already. See, this is exactly why you do not have the president on the battleship. I’m just saying.
Bill tells Starbuck it’s her plan and Kara walks to Gaeta and asks him to tell Dee to tell Apollo that “the back door is open”.
Out in space, a large thing detaches from one of the decoy ships and reveals another attack force. Laura asks Kara how come she didn’t say anything about it and Bill tells her he routinely restricts tactical details to those who need to know. “Old habits die hard.” Which I think is his own subtle way of burning her for thinking he was a Cylon back in “Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down”.
Anyway. Now it all pretty much rests on Baltar’s random guess. But it’s not quite that easy, because the Cylons are jamming the missile guidance systems and they can’t get close. Two of Kara’s nuggets get taken out. Apollo gets in for a closer look and decides to pull a Luke Skywalker/a trademark Starbuck retina-detaching move. It is the first time we ever see Apollo fly this good or come up with something this crazy since the miniseries. I kind of miss the days when Apollo got to be a hero.
We wait for the explosion. Lee confirms for the people on Galactica that Baltar was right and that the mission is accomplished. Everyone goes wild, cheering and clapping and hugging. Gaeta hugs Baltar, and isn’t that just the sweetest and saddest thing ever? Kara, without thinking, hugs Laura, and apologizes. Laura tells her not to apologize and then hugs her gently. One of the few times on this show a woman talks to another woman without it being about a guy or fighting.
The Celtic music is in full swing and Starbuck greets Apollo as he climbs out of his Viper. She tells him she couldn’t have done better herself and Lee teasingly makes her repeat it. Crashdown and Boomer drink champagne and smile, Boomer grinning and rolling her eyes when Ensign Davis runs into Crash’s arms. As Apollo lights up a cigar, he sees his father over Starbuck’s shoulder, and he tosses him the lighter. Bill smiles at his son, and Lee nods back.
It is a lovely moment.
In his fantasy world, Head!Six asks Baltar about the Pythian prophecies. He read them in the sixth grade and hasn’t thought about them since. She repeats the verse we first learned in “Flesh and Bone”, from Leoben: “All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again.” She quotes more scripture and Baltar comes to the conclusion that God wanted him to destroy the Cylon base.
“I am the instrument of God,” he says.
He strikes his Jesus pose on the balcony as we fade to black. Oh, Gaius darling, if only you knew just how much an instrument of God you are. What’s sad is that I’m pretty sure they weren’t terribly serious about Six being an angel and Gaius being an instrument of God at this point, it’s just what they wanted you to think. There’s just something that feels different to me about Head!Six and Gaius in this season versus the final one.
Now I’m going to watch “Colonial Day” and then “Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc.” Maybe not immediately afterward, I’m definitely going to watch it before the evening’s up.
Previously on Battlestar Galactica: Laura has cancer, Kara bitched Lee out about acting like the CAG, Tigh used some reverse psychology to get Kara out of Sickbay, Kara trained the nuggets, Doral and Six talked about Sharon and Helo.
Laura is giving a press conference, because the fleet is running low on fuel. They’ve been in space for 36 days and their tylium fuel reserves are down to %5. So you can imagine people are kind of freaking about this. The press is actually being really calm as they ask their questions, though, and it’s going rather well, until Laura starts hallucinating snakes on the podium (I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFRAKKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFRAKKING PODIUM! *cough* sorry couldn’t resist move along).
To quote the great Indiana Jones, “Why did it have to be snakes?” Ugh. I am not a snake person at all. They’re creepy. Laura’s look of terror agrees with me. Laura is struggling to answer their questions and the press is noticing something is up. Laura tries to compose herself and ends the conference. There’s a cool shot of Laura’s hands on the podium and there not being any snakes and then when we change back to her POV, the snakes are there.
Boomer and Crashdown are looking for tylium, because they are the old Racetrack and Skulls. And because they are the old Racetrack and Skulls, they find tylium! Except, again, because they are the old Racetrack and Skulls and bad things always follow a good discovery, the asteroid is crawling with Cylons. They hightail it out of there, sad that they are no longer heroes. :(
I have to say, I miss the days when Boomer and Crashdown were funny. It’s so sad to know that Crashdown cracks under the pressure and Boomer is, well, Boomer. They were kind of adorable, cheering about finding tylium, teasing one another.
Bill, Lee, Saul, and Gaeta are talking about the asteroid and how the Cylons are probably staking out any other fuel sources as well. Lee suggests sending the raptors out further, and Tigh derides it for using up all their fuel. Bill is silent until finally he says they’re going to fight the Cylons for the asteroid. Cue everyone looking at him like he has gone off the deep end. But he is the Commander and he is AWESOME so of course his crazy ideas will work.
Not that they know that yet, but I’m just saying. DO NOT DOUBT BILL ADAMA AND HIS CRAZY ASS IDEAS. They always work! Even when they shouldn’t! Because he is just. that. AWESOME.
Speaking of crazy ass ideas and just. that. AWESOME., Kara is giving a briefing to her nuggets. Bill comes in, because when you have a crazy ass idea and you need someone to come up with an equally crazy ass plan, you turn to Kara Thrace. I bet if Kara had been on Galactica instead of New Caprica, she could have helped plan the rescue and they wouldn’t have lost Pegasus. I’m just saying.
Laura talks to Priestess Elosha, played by the wonderful Lorena Gale. Elosha was so cool! I hate that they killed her off. It was pretty cool to see her again in “The Hub”, even if it was just a dream!Elosha or something. I wish dream!Elosha had stuck around, too, because she never would have let Laura just fade away like she did. (Even if it is kind of her fault that Laura became ALL ABOUT BILL ADAMA. See what Jane Espenson does to these characters? That is the reason I am worried about The Plan. I can handle massive retcon, but character!fail not so much.)
We get some exposition about Pythia and her prophecies, but as we all know now, Pythia got a lot of things wrong. But what oracle doesn’t get a few things wrong now and then? Besides, she was probably on chamalla and she was stuck in an asylum seeing scary blonde women in red dresses, not to mention dating Saul Tigh’s father, so she had a lot on her plate. We can forgive her a few mistakes, right?
Speaking of Pythia, I have not personally read the Final Five comics (because I cannot find it anywhere at any store that sells comics near to me), but I always thought the best crack idea ever was that Kara Thrace was Saul and Ellen’s granddaughter (through Daniel). I love that the comics proved me wrong and instead made Kara (or season four Kara, at least, who I think is supposed to be Aurora) Saul’s mother. That’s really just too hilarious, even if it isn’t really canon. It really should be, because the Cylons in the actual show weren’t messed up enough.
Also? If season four Kara is Aurora and Aurora is the Pythia Saul’s father marries and procreates with, that means Saul Tigh’s mom was a goddess. So Saul’s technically a demi-god. See? BEST CRACK EVER.
Anyway, back to the show. Lee is telling Kara their plan, over the glowy table with all the models and stuff. I forget what the table is called. Anyway, Kara is Not Impressed with the plan and says as much. Tigh is even less pleased with this whole thing since now Kara is involved and snarks about it. Starbuck being Starbuck snarks back about his marital problems, and Bill tells them to be quiet, because they have some important planning to do.
Starbuck begins telling us the plan, and we’ve been joined by Laura. She is concerned about casualties as well as the chance the Cylons might come while they’re getting the tylium. Bill gives one of his speeches and says, “Sometimes you gotta roll the hard six,” and Laura okays the plan.
Because Baltar is their Cylon Expert, he gets called in to look at recon photos of the base and tell them what they need to hit to destroy the base, but not damage the ore. If only he could tell them that his expertise lies with the tall, blonde humanoid models instead of things like tylium refineries. He retreats to his fantasy world to talk to Head!Six, who preaches about letting God into his heart so he can guide him or something. I am fascinated by Head!Six’s shoes, because my God, look at the heel on them! Seriously.
Gaius picks a place at random and points. Because he is one lucky son of a bitch, he is right. Head!Six tells him God doesn’t always speak in words and Gaius is actually really kind of worried because hasn’t he already nearly killed humanity? It’s kind of sweet, except this is Gaius and he has about 1246457452253453 more almost-redemptions to go through before he becomes a good guy for reals.
Starbuck, who is still suffering from her knee injury all the way back in “You Can’t Go Home Again”, is in the exercise room. She’s determined to be back in the cockpit for the mission, but Bill’s not having it with that injury. They have a little showdown, because she feels like she needs to be on the mission, but Bill nixes it.
Naturally, Kara goes to talk to Lee about the mission. She’s using Starbuck Psychology on him, but Lee doesn’t need someone telling him to not over-think something, because he’s Lee. I don’t know why Starbuck thought it was a good idea to do this, but there you go. Poor guy probably felt bad enough already, you know?
On Cylon-occupied Caprica, Helo and Sharon are in someone’s barn because they need a place to sleep for the night. They’ve also raided someone’s pantry and Helo is talking about what they want to eat. Sharon is feeling sick and Helo, being Helo, thinks she’s not taking her anti-radiation meds. Helo darling, you are such an idiot. While I can forgive you for not catching on to the fact that she’s a Cylon, you probably should have figured out the pregnancy thing a little quicker than this. (Though I guess I would have asked about the radiation meds too, but come on. You do remember that you had sex without any protection, right?)
Lee is hanging out at the hanger deck because he is concerned he will frak up the mission. Thank you for helping, Kara. Bill comes down and gives him an Adama Pep Talk, guaranteed to give him confidence. Oh, and a lighter his father used to carry into court cases, because Joseph Adama is apparently a superstitious man (seriously, pencil breaking and a lucky lighter). We also get the Adama theme, the proper name I don’t know but want to say is “Wander My Friends”, and it’s kind of awesome even if you do wonder why there’s all this Celtic music for this family.
Anyway. Lee bemoans that everyone feels like Starbuck would do better on the mission and Bill says he doesn’t, but I think he’s kind of lying, because Starbuck probably would do better on this mission but Lee is his son and he can’t say that. Which, honestly, I don’t think Lee would do bad on the mission either - and the show backs me up on this, duh - but he still wouldn’t do as awesomely as Kara would.
Back on Caprica, Helo and Sharon are sleeping sweetly. Then they hear Centurions and Helo looks out and sees a Six, who looks exactly like the Six that Sharon shot when she made her reappearance. Helo is freaked out, but Sharon is focused on getting out of there and hoping that will distract him from any questions. And it still takes him until the end of “Colonial Day” to realize she’s a Cylon. Oh, Helo.
Galactica jumps into position in the asteroid field. Also present are Gaius Baltar and Laura Roslin, because if there’s anywhere you want your president and Cylon expert, it’s on the battleship going into battle. Not even going to ask what the logic behind that one was.
Down on the deck, Galen is looking at something. Cally is chewing gum. Everyone is waiting. Boomer and Crashdown are in a raptor, watching the Cylons. They relay that the Raiders have taken the bait, and Bill orders Gaeta who tells Dee to launch Strike Force 1. The deck scurries into activity as pilots jump into vipers. Kara, using a cane, walks into the war room and asks how many Raiders.
She continues to worry about Lee and Bill tells her Lee isn’t the problem. The problem is that she’s not in control. Some more things are said, Kara snaps she never wanted this responsibility, and Bill points out the Cylons never asked them what they wanted. Crashdown reports 50+ Raiders have moved to intercept the strike force and Baltar immediately asks what that means. Starbuck clarifies it for him: “It means that a Cylon patrol spotted our attack force. The base sent out 50 more Raiders to intercept.”
Laura points out that the decoys were supposed to take care of that, and Bill says the Cylons were too smart. Kara curses, realizing her plan is falling apart. For a change, most of the action takes place off-screen. We see some of it, but for the most part, we’re stuck listening just like Kara is. Baltar is right when he says it sounds awful.
Bill aborts the strike force and the Cylons turn on the Galactica. The Cylons heard the recall and now the wave that was heading for the decoys is coming for them. Baltar asks when are they going to launch the reserve Vipers and Bill tells him everything is on the board already. See, this is exactly why you do not have the president on the battleship. I’m just saying.
Bill tells Starbuck it’s her plan and Kara walks to Gaeta and asks him to tell Dee to tell Apollo that “the back door is open”.
Out in space, a large thing detaches from one of the decoy ships and reveals another attack force. Laura asks Kara how come she didn’t say anything about it and Bill tells her he routinely restricts tactical details to those who need to know. “Old habits die hard.” Which I think is his own subtle way of burning her for thinking he was a Cylon back in “Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down”.
Anyway. Now it all pretty much rests on Baltar’s random guess. But it’s not quite that easy, because the Cylons are jamming the missile guidance systems and they can’t get close. Two of Kara’s nuggets get taken out. Apollo gets in for a closer look and decides to pull a Luke Skywalker/a trademark Starbuck retina-detaching move. It is the first time we ever see Apollo fly this good or come up with something this crazy since the miniseries. I kind of miss the days when Apollo got to be a hero.
We wait for the explosion. Lee confirms for the people on Galactica that Baltar was right and that the mission is accomplished. Everyone goes wild, cheering and clapping and hugging. Gaeta hugs Baltar, and isn’t that just the sweetest and saddest thing ever? Kara, without thinking, hugs Laura, and apologizes. Laura tells her not to apologize and then hugs her gently. One of the few times on this show a woman talks to another woman without it being about a guy or fighting.
The Celtic music is in full swing and Starbuck greets Apollo as he climbs out of his Viper. She tells him she couldn’t have done better herself and Lee teasingly makes her repeat it. Crashdown and Boomer drink champagne and smile, Boomer grinning and rolling her eyes when Ensign Davis runs into Crash’s arms. As Apollo lights up a cigar, he sees his father over Starbuck’s shoulder, and he tosses him the lighter. Bill smiles at his son, and Lee nods back.
It is a lovely moment.
In his fantasy world, Head!Six asks Baltar about the Pythian prophecies. He read them in the sixth grade and hasn’t thought about them since. She repeats the verse we first learned in “Flesh and Bone”, from Leoben: “All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again.” She quotes more scripture and Baltar comes to the conclusion that God wanted him to destroy the Cylon base.
“I am the instrument of God,” he says.
He strikes his Jesus pose on the balcony as we fade to black. Oh, Gaius darling, if only you knew just how much an instrument of God you are. What’s sad is that I’m pretty sure they weren’t terribly serious about Six being an angel and Gaius being an instrument of God at this point, it’s just what they wanted you to think. There’s just something that feels different to me about Head!Six and Gaius in this season versus the final one.
Now I’m going to watch “Colonial Day” and then “Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc.” Maybe not immediately afterward, I’m definitely going to watch it before the evening’s up.