Inaction
Sometimes resistance baffles me. Especially when I resist myself. Why am I afraid of my feelings? They are already there. It’s not like denying them is going to make them go away. Taking small peeks at them doesn’t work either. One has to stare fear straight in the face and declare oneself bigger than it.
I think I talk a lot of crap sometimes. I sit here and I type all this insightful stuff but I never get around to doing it. It all makes sense in my head; I can philosophize about things all day long. Do I take action? No. What is wrong with me?
Thoreau went out to the woods to write about it. He didn’t stay in the midst of the city expecting to understand country life from there. A lot of other authors never would have considered sitting on the sidelines and writing about what it was like to be in the game. What do I think I’m doing?
To honestly understand my life, and my emotions, I have to be smack dab in the middle of it all. Why is that so hard? Why does the human mind seem like such a frightening place? I’ve been to the hells of my mind and back again. My mind has played some horrible tricks on me. And I’ve overpowered it. Why am I scared now?
I’m only asking myself these questions because I know only I can answer them. It seems like I’m trying to free myself without really working for it. That doesn’t work. And I know it. I know I’m just judging myself. I do work hard to train my mind. It’s so crazy, it takes a while. I want to just like, chain it down and make it stay in one place. It keeps trying to run away from me.
I think I talk a lot of crap sometimes. I sit here and I type all this insightful stuff but I never get around to doing it. It all makes sense in my head; I can philosophize about things all day long. Do I take action? No. What is wrong with me?
Thoreau went out to the woods to write about it. He didn’t stay in the midst of the city expecting to understand country life from there. A lot of other authors never would have considered sitting on the sidelines and writing about what it was like to be in the game. What do I think I’m doing?
To honestly understand my life, and my emotions, I have to be smack dab in the middle of it all. Why is that so hard? Why does the human mind seem like such a frightening place? I’ve been to the hells of my mind and back again. My mind has played some horrible tricks on me. And I’ve overpowered it. Why am I scared now?
I’m only asking myself these questions because I know only I can answer them. It seems like I’m trying to free myself without really working for it. That doesn’t work. And I know it. I know I’m just judging myself. I do work hard to train my mind. It’s so crazy, it takes a while. I want to just like, chain it down and make it stay in one place. It keeps trying to run away from me.