PREPARE YOUR TINFOIL HATS, EVERYONE
I found a typed two-sided letter in my mailbox today--folded over, no envelope--after arriving home from work, jammed in with a card, some junk ads, and our new checkbook. I've never seen anything like it before. As such, I will summarize the contents of one side for you.
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*The wicked god Pan is using satellite technology to perform surgeries on babies in the womb to make them deformed and androgynous. These people will put implants in victims that make them anguished.
*Computer Administrators and Security Guards are working together in a conspiracy to make fun of and/or kidnap millions of people who have been extorted by the Mental Health authorities. The IRS, SSA, and a bunch of social workers are working with them as well. Pan is actually the head of NASA, runs all those other organizations, and apparently enjoys 'jiggling' computers.
*Your Social Security Number is the Mark of the Beast.
*Grocery stores put special radiation in your food and eyes in amounts based on your SSN. This is the real reason why you can't remember where you parked your car.
*You have a tiny radar screen in your eyes which shorts out and makes your mind blank when hit with radiation.
*Mental Health is conspiring with the Military and NASA's seekrit underworld organization to build detention centers for juvenile delinquents.
*One gay man and a whole lot of lesbians on the Mental Health payroll are working in those detention centers to stick even more implants in your badly-behaved child.
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The other side isn't nearly so amusing summarized, and should probably be read as it is written, but I don't want to sit here and type it up right now.
I do wonder who wrote it, though--or if they're going to make another one? The other people in the apartments had already taken their mail, so I don't know if I got this letter specially or if they all got copies, too. Not really about to ask.
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*The wicked god Pan is using satellite technology to perform surgeries on babies in the womb to make them deformed and androgynous. These people will put implants in victims that make them anguished.
*Computer Administrators and Security Guards are working together in a conspiracy to make fun of and/or kidnap millions of people who have been extorted by the Mental Health authorities. The IRS, SSA, and a bunch of social workers are working with them as well. Pan is actually the head of NASA, runs all those other organizations, and apparently enjoys 'jiggling' computers.
*Your Social Security Number is the Mark of the Beast.
*Grocery stores put special radiation in your food and eyes in amounts based on your SSN. This is the real reason why you can't remember where you parked your car.
*You have a tiny radar screen in your eyes which shorts out and makes your mind blank when hit with radiation.
*Mental Health is conspiring with the Military and NASA's seekrit underworld organization to build detention centers for juvenile delinquents.
*One gay man and a whole lot of lesbians on the Mental Health payroll are working in those detention centers to stick even more implants in your badly-behaved child.
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The other side isn't nearly so amusing summarized, and should probably be read as it is written, but I don't want to sit here and type it up right now.
I do wonder who wrote it, though--or if they're going to make another one? The other people in the apartments had already taken their mail, so I don't know if I got this letter specially or if they all got copies, too. Not really about to ask.