PREPARE YOUR TINFOIL HATS, EVERYONE

[unnamed_nothing]

I found a typed two-sided letter in my mailbox today--folded over, no envelope--after arriving home from work, jammed in with a card, some junk ads, and our new checkbook. I've never seen anything like it before. As such, I will summarize the contents of one side for you.

Comments

[darkprophecies]

Props to them on CREATIVITY I guess. XDD

[unnamed_nothing]

I kind of want to go to the grocery store and ask them if Godzilla's in the back sitting on my can of Beefaroni.

[darkprophecies]

... oh dear lord the mental picture I just got. XDDDDD

[unnamed_nothing]

I will pay good internets to anyone who doodles this. >_>

[doubleclicked]

Well shit. I always knew NASA was bad news.

[unnamed_nothing]

I bet we didn't really land on the moon, either.

[doubleclicked]

Nah, the moon's where they got all the tiny radars for our eyes.

it's also where pan keeps his summer home.

[unnamed_nothing]

Damn that Neil Armstrong! Puppet of The Man!

It must be very nice there. He hasn't got any neighbors to be noisy, you know.

[notsoloyal]

Grocery stores put special radiation in your food and eyes in amounts based on your SSN. This is the real reason why you can't remember where you parked your car.

I KNEW IT!

[unnamed_nothing]

I'm too smart for them! I take the bus. :D

[notsoloyal]

Ooohhh good idea.

[watsthename]

I KNEW EET!!!

[unnamed_nothing]

DEL. ARE YOU PLAYING IN THE POST OFFICE AGAIN?

WHAT DID WE TELL YOU ABOUT BORROWING THE RECEPTIONIST'S TYPEWRITER?

[watsthename]

Maybe.

[unnamed_nothing]

Well, all right. Just don't lick all the stamps, this time.

[oww_myhead]

this is like

shit rorschach would believe in

[unnamed_nothing]

Rorschach's probably safe. He steals beans and sugar cubes from other people, not the store.

[loltraitorlol]

BUT THEY GOT IT FROM THE STORE

[unnamed_nothing]

The radiation probably already escaped into their eye radars, though.