time to strap it on.
i like the new evanescence album. got a leaked copy of it today from one of my friends. it's still got a sonorous quality to it and yearning bits. it doesn't sound as forced as i'd thought it might. seems as if they might have spent so much time playing the songs they knew the ones that were made before they lost a band member and their house of cards shattered... well, i think they grew into a version of what they thought they were going to do on their own. it just took some listening to their own stuff to get to where they were going to go without the extra element.
sort of like my own life really. going somewhere, incorporating things that i thought it needed and then shattered and derailed in the extreme. gone to places i thought would help. incorporating things i thought i needed, but recapturing in my own way things that were building blocks for the core.
i've always had this mental imagery of my core. an open greek temple. 4 massive pillars. no walls. i can't say what's happened to me in the last 4 years. i mean, i know what i've been doing, but the shifts from place to place... well i guess i do know what's happened to me. on a lot of levels. i've pursued everything that i found precious, old and new.. but the greek temple is gone... it's an abandoned house... like one of those old buildings in the abandoned places forum....
but it's still there. such strength doesn't die. the fire that existed in the center of this pagoda is gone. vines grow everywhere and they tear tiny footholds in the marble. there once was a fire to warm a city's worth of people... now there is a scorched mark in the center as i mentally return to it.
all elements that created this place. this core from which i operated from. they exist. there are new things, new colors to my tapestry, new directions to my life, but now the temple is an abandoned shrine in the midst of a jungle.
it's a fallen empire of motland. in the fall of the empire there has been new growth. the core of me haunted the caverns beneath this land, drank from pools of hidden deep knowledge, foreign to everything else. but now in returning to this place i find that the fall of the empire allowed nature to return. blocks have been wrested from the walls and lifted from teh floor, but i think they were meant to.
these blocks represent the pieces of me that didn't survive the fire. the core has been buried deep. down in caverns where the primal elements of rock's liquidity took the finessed portions, the refined edges of me and concentrated them down. this place i am at now. i've been here before. it needs a good cleaning. it needs a good renovating, but it's still home. it's still where i operated from and will do again.
there are only faint paths out of this place. faint trails that lead to friendships that once were so strong that little or nothing could shut them down. there are dangers on the paths that were once subdued. wild things and people strewn about that knew not i was here or had heard the rumor, but not seen the me when they visited the me, for the me was deep in the forges of the earth, buried in the depths of myself as the hammer of my will reconditioned what would be.
i've worked for speakesy all of those 4 years. i was breaking myself down before i came here, but it went to a new level when i disconnected from everyone and every thing. ppl have seen the temple. visited it and had the carvings on it's walls pointed out by old friends things they liked, but there really wasn't anyone home.
i've been called out of the darkness but moved too slowly to follow the voice. now i stand alone in the ruins of my future that was my past. i think i see the way to rebuild now.
i've missed the inspiration that amy lee's voice sends.
sort of like my own life really. going somewhere, incorporating things that i thought it needed and then shattered and derailed in the extreme. gone to places i thought would help. incorporating things i thought i needed, but recapturing in my own way things that were building blocks for the core.
i've always had this mental imagery of my core. an open greek temple. 4 massive pillars. no walls. i can't say what's happened to me in the last 4 years. i mean, i know what i've been doing, but the shifts from place to place... well i guess i do know what's happened to me. on a lot of levels. i've pursued everything that i found precious, old and new.. but the greek temple is gone... it's an abandoned house... like one of those old buildings in the abandoned places forum....
but it's still there. such strength doesn't die. the fire that existed in the center of this pagoda is gone. vines grow everywhere and they tear tiny footholds in the marble. there once was a fire to warm a city's worth of people... now there is a scorched mark in the center as i mentally return to it.
all elements that created this place. this core from which i operated from. they exist. there are new things, new colors to my tapestry, new directions to my life, but now the temple is an abandoned shrine in the midst of a jungle.
it's a fallen empire of motland. in the fall of the empire there has been new growth. the core of me haunted the caverns beneath this land, drank from pools of hidden deep knowledge, foreign to everything else. but now in returning to this place i find that the fall of the empire allowed nature to return. blocks have been wrested from the walls and lifted from teh floor, but i think they were meant to.
these blocks represent the pieces of me that didn't survive the fire. the core has been buried deep. down in caverns where the primal elements of rock's liquidity took the finessed portions, the refined edges of me and concentrated them down. this place i am at now. i've been here before. it needs a good cleaning. it needs a good renovating, but it's still home. it's still where i operated from and will do again.
there are only faint paths out of this place. faint trails that lead to friendships that once were so strong that little or nothing could shut them down. there are dangers on the paths that were once subdued. wild things and people strewn about that knew not i was here or had heard the rumor, but not seen the me when they visited the me, for the me was deep in the forges of the earth, buried in the depths of myself as the hammer of my will reconditioned what would be.
i've worked for speakesy all of those 4 years. i was breaking myself down before i came here, but it went to a new level when i disconnected from everyone and every thing. ppl have seen the temple. visited it and had the carvings on it's walls pointed out by old friends things they liked, but there really wasn't anyone home.
i've been called out of the darkness but moved too slowly to follow the voice. now i stand alone in the ruins of my future that was my past. i think i see the way to rebuild now.
i've missed the inspiration that amy lee's voice sends.