my brain
is fucking with me....
Im pondering thoughts I didn't want to and things I should never have to think. They are evil, those evil thoughts that dwell in the mind when you know the opposite of that will happen, yet those thoughts stay and fuck with you anyway.
How much does he really want her back anyway, it seems like he is still in love no matter who he was dating 2 weeks ago, or whatever he was doing with her. I am so convinced nothing bad will happen, but I hate to think of what could happen.I really dont think the worst thing I can think of will ever come close, but damnit, what I read really hits home. It makes me think of not being in control of this at all, like it could slip right out of my hands and then I'd be back tp being spiteful and aggressive. I dont want bitterness in my life because too much exist's already from other people.
I dont like being scared like this, but I cant help it and all I want is for it to die off. I dont want to wonder and ponder questions in my head because I have done all that before, it leads to nothing good and will turn the sane, insane in a quick manner.
idk, I am already being crazy, but I am back here at this point in life again ready to take one way, right or left, that fork in the road and maybe Im not ready, but I am waiting there for th next move. I dont want to be the fool, I cant be that guy and I just ask that I be treated with the same respect that I give out. How much I care, I myself do not know yet, but I do.
Im glad we talked this through and figured things out, maybe I am just being wierd tonight, but sometimes to stay sane you have to go a little insane.
Man, being single yields results of almost constantly having fun and never having a worry or feeling one bad emotion, but as soon as you are with someone you are back to those deep feelings once more and thoughts you arent always ready to think haunt you from time to time. It's hard feeling the emotion once more, but at the same time you love it too. It's so 50/50.
idk I just dont want to think about that thing anymore. I just want to sleep and forget it, see 5 pm and leave the office on my way home to a fun night. I dont know what it holds, but I know I miss you Brooke.
Gary and Kim want you over Saturday, but it looks like I will be there without you. I told Gary you'd be in Miami Saturday and most likely be too tired and busy to come here and do that and then head back the next day. I hope I see you Monday if you come here for your apt.If not, well 2 weeks of waiting is going to be like telling me I won the lotto.
Im tired, Im cutting it here, thanks for talking with me and helping me out.
Chris Ryan
Im pondering thoughts I didn't want to and things I should never have to think. They are evil, those evil thoughts that dwell in the mind when you know the opposite of that will happen, yet those thoughts stay and fuck with you anyway.
How much does he really want her back anyway, it seems like he is still in love no matter who he was dating 2 weeks ago, or whatever he was doing with her. I am so convinced nothing bad will happen, but I hate to think of what could happen.I really dont think the worst thing I can think of will ever come close, but damnit, what I read really hits home. It makes me think of not being in control of this at all, like it could slip right out of my hands and then I'd be back tp being spiteful and aggressive. I dont want bitterness in my life because too much exist's already from other people.
I dont like being scared like this, but I cant help it and all I want is for it to die off. I dont want to wonder and ponder questions in my head because I have done all that before, it leads to nothing good and will turn the sane, insane in a quick manner.
idk, I am already being crazy, but I am back here at this point in life again ready to take one way, right or left, that fork in the road and maybe Im not ready, but I am waiting there for th next move. I dont want to be the fool, I cant be that guy and I just ask that I be treated with the same respect that I give out. How much I care, I myself do not know yet, but I do.
Im glad we talked this through and figured things out, maybe I am just being wierd tonight, but sometimes to stay sane you have to go a little insane.
Man, being single yields results of almost constantly having fun and never having a worry or feeling one bad emotion, but as soon as you are with someone you are back to those deep feelings once more and thoughts you arent always ready to think haunt you from time to time. It's hard feeling the emotion once more, but at the same time you love it too. It's so 50/50.
idk I just dont want to think about that thing anymore. I just want to sleep and forget it, see 5 pm and leave the office on my way home to a fun night. I dont know what it holds, but I know I miss you Brooke.
Gary and Kim want you over Saturday, but it looks like I will be there without you. I told Gary you'd be in Miami Saturday and most likely be too tired and busy to come here and do that and then head back the next day. I hope I see you Monday if you come here for your apt.If not, well 2 weeks of waiting is going to be like telling me I won the lotto.
Im tired, Im cutting it here, thanks for talking with me and helping me out.
Chris Ryan