Musing
Its sometimes can be scary to touch the darkest depths of your soul. But when you can come out the other side theres a deep sense of accomplishment.
The reality is Ive driven by the darker elements of my life. I have so much hate and contempt in my heart. And this is a good thing because its that hate and anger and negativity that allows for all the kindness in my heart.
I look at humanity in general and see terrible selfishness and thoughtlessness. And I hate it. I hate that I have those feelings inside of me that I battle on a daily basis. But its because I adhore these things so much thats its led me to(try to at least) explore the greatest heights of kindness that also resides in me. If I hate these elements of every day so much, so can I possibly allow them to govern my life? I cant.
When it boils down to it you can either let the negative control your life or you can harness it to grow. I wont accept anything less.
I find myself thinking a lot about what I want in life and I realize that as long as my atma grows I dont care what I do. To an extent I am selfish but in being selfish I can be a better friend. Its sort of an Ayn Rand sort of philosophy I suppose.
To me being sad isnt a bad thing. We grow when faced with the manure of life. Being lonely is the worst emotion a person can face. Theres no growth in it. I hate it. Loneliness is typical of the attachment to things that I dont necessarily need in my life. It strikes up emotions of being irrelevant. I hate that. I hate the thought that I dont matter enough.
And I hate making no sense.
The reality is Ive driven by the darker elements of my life. I have so much hate and contempt in my heart. And this is a good thing because its that hate and anger and negativity that allows for all the kindness in my heart.
I look at humanity in general and see terrible selfishness and thoughtlessness. And I hate it. I hate that I have those feelings inside of me that I battle on a daily basis. But its because I adhore these things so much thats its led me to(try to at least) explore the greatest heights of kindness that also resides in me. If I hate these elements of every day so much, so can I possibly allow them to govern my life? I cant.
When it boils down to it you can either let the negative control your life or you can harness it to grow. I wont accept anything less.
I find myself thinking a lot about what I want in life and I realize that as long as my atma grows I dont care what I do. To an extent I am selfish but in being selfish I can be a better friend. Its sort of an Ayn Rand sort of philosophy I suppose.
To me being sad isnt a bad thing. We grow when faced with the manure of life. Being lonely is the worst emotion a person can face. Theres no growth in it. I hate it. Loneliness is typical of the attachment to things that I dont necessarily need in my life. It strikes up emotions of being irrelevant. I hate that. I hate the thought that I dont matter enough.
And I hate making no sense.