(no subject)
Oh boy.. here i go again.. for those that are truly close to me
understand what's behind that phrase.. GOSH.. Honestly, i dont know
what to do at this point in my life. I feel lost, i feel useless, and
as if i was worthless. It's horrible to feel this way ... dont get me
wrond i have a smile and a laugh here and there but not like before..
there's something missing in me. ::tear:: Today is actually one of the
hardest days for me. Few know why.. and it should be kept that way.
"Love is beautiful, but that same beauty is the poison that is killing
me" Yeah face it life's a BITCH whether you like what i'm saying or
not.. deal with it.. I dont give a fuck about anything anymore.. the
reason why everything looked all pretty and pink has gone away.. and
you know what i see everything in it's true colors and it sucks ass.. I
dont know what im writing but im just angry.. sad.. lonely.. talk about
emo. ITS ME!! Fuck life.. why live with it and deal with it?.. I hate
myself right about now. Peopl make mistakes right? let me answer that..
YES THEY DO.. and i messed up... i know how to fix it.. but im not sure
if ... would want to.. Why is life this way.. why must one feel such
emotions and suffer thourghout life.. Yes i know what doesnt kill you
makes you stronger.. but how can i live each day to the fullest when
there's no happiness or love in my life.. yes my friends love and trust
me that's just fucking awesome i love them too.. and my family..
awesome bro.. i love them too.. i love everyone.. just getting fucked
over EVERYTIME.. overall, irritates the fuck out of me. So living
life to the fullest right?.. not me .. right now i cant think, cant
sleep, cant do anything right about now.. Tears speak pain.. Pain why
would anyone want to feel that.. this time i brought it upon myself..
so let me suffer.. you know what i'm, just tired of life.. i just wish
to go to sleep and never wake up to this unhappy reality of life.. it
sucks honestly. Im just expressing myself.. i just wish i could
leave and never come back and never be found.. Why live life.. if my
smiles are fake.. my laugh is fake.. everything is just faking out
there's no more reason to be.. who i used to be.. MAYZI