Hello SMU!
wenxin
FINALLY CLICKED THE BUTTON!!!
Watched 'Miracle', a film about the US hockey team's journey to Olympics, with the docu people & mr tong on Thursday and it left an impact on me. Sports will always generate this buzz and energy within me, especially when the team overcomes all odds. The film tied in with what we discussed on Monday, about the 6 rules great leaders and people live by. And for me, the 3rd rule resonated so strongly while i was watching the film. 3. Vision and commitment dictate my actions, not assessments, emotions and feelings.
It's difficult to stay committed to a vision, quitting is always the easy way out. But the end result isn't something one can be proud of, isn't something one can look back on and say, hey, i did it!
Right now the most pressing thought in my head, is about which university to choose. SMU SOSS, NUS FASS, NTU MassComm. Ntu is a no-go, immediate strike-out for me.
For 2 weeks plus i've been deliberating between SMU and NUS. I've asked people for their opinions and 9/10 of them, without hesitation, voted for NUS. The reasons are many, and valid as well. So if it is a case of democracy, NUS wins handsdown. But there's this feeling inside me that I should consider SMU. Yet I KEEP hesitating, keep putting off making a decision.
Does it mean that i want SMU? At one point I thought, the hesitation is because NUS feels like the 'right' choice, and if I choose SMU, it will be the 'wrong' choice and I will regret. Or repent for 4 years. Lol.
But that wasn't a satisfactory explanation for me. At the heart of it, I need to question what am I afraid of and what am I resisting? Right now I'm thinking real hard. What I'm afraid of( i think), at the root of it all, is failing, not being good enough in SMU, because of the intensive competition that I've been hearing about. What if I go there, and don't do well, and regret my choice? What if I can't the class participation marks cos the others keep talking and I don't?? What if the projects are difficult or whatever? What if I can't make any great friends (no one in clique going SMU boohoo T.T)?
Ok now that I've got the thoughts in my head out, wow. Kinda weird that I'm seeing it clearer almost immediately. The above paragraph looks completely silly. Those fears, though not completely unfounded, are not the truth. Assessments are not assertions. And essentially what I'm doing is limiting myself and the possibilities. Wherever I go, there will be competition. And I am only not good enough if I allow myself to be not good enough. And the part about friends is quite rubbish too lol, that's what I thought when I first entered 5c11 and I must say that attitude didn't serve me at all, though i'm amazingly lucky to have awesome tzuhsiang and jess =] I chose not to connect with others, and I really regret the narrow-mindedness.
I have a vision, I kinda know what I want out of my university education. I want to emerge, at the end of it all, a confident, independent and determined woman. And that means putting myself to the test, challenging my limits, stepping out of the comfort zone.
So......
Hello SMU!
HUGE SENSE OF RELIEF WHEN I CONFIRMED THE CHOICE!!! And kinda happy + excited too! =]
Haha papa says he will drop by SMU to bring me to lunch provided that I have good restaurant recommendations =D Shall do my research on Hungrygowhere lol. Mr Tong said I can work at SOT if i want to even when school starts but even if I don't, the office is so near I can pop by anytime!
Ok am going to go on with playing + relaxing my heart out before August comes around, will be 100% prepared to work hard & play hard!
FINALLY CLICKED THE BUTTON!!!
Watched 'Miracle', a film about the US hockey team's journey to Olympics, with the docu people & mr tong on Thursday and it left an impact on me. Sports will always generate this buzz and energy within me, especially when the team overcomes all odds. The film tied in with what we discussed on Monday, about the 6 rules great leaders and people live by. And for me, the 3rd rule resonated so strongly while i was watching the film. 3. Vision and commitment dictate my actions, not assessments, emotions and feelings.
It's difficult to stay committed to a vision, quitting is always the easy way out. But the end result isn't something one can be proud of, isn't something one can look back on and say, hey, i did it!
Right now the most pressing thought in my head, is about which university to choose. SMU SOSS, NUS FASS, NTU MassComm. Ntu is a no-go, immediate strike-out for me.
For 2 weeks plus i've been deliberating between SMU and NUS. I've asked people for their opinions and 9/10 of them, without hesitation, voted for NUS. The reasons are many, and valid as well. So if it is a case of democracy, NUS wins handsdown. But there's this feeling inside me that I should consider SMU. Yet I KEEP hesitating, keep putting off making a decision.
Does it mean that i want SMU? At one point I thought, the hesitation is because NUS feels like the 'right' choice, and if I choose SMU, it will be the 'wrong' choice and I will regret. Or repent for 4 years. Lol.
But that wasn't a satisfactory explanation for me. At the heart of it, I need to question what am I afraid of and what am I resisting? Right now I'm thinking real hard. What I'm afraid of( i think), at the root of it all, is failing, not being good enough in SMU, because of the intensive competition that I've been hearing about. What if I go there, and don't do well, and regret my choice? What if I can't the class participation marks cos the others keep talking and I don't?? What if the projects are difficult or whatever? What if I can't make any great friends (no one in clique going SMU boohoo T.T)?
Ok now that I've got the thoughts in my head out, wow. Kinda weird that I'm seeing it clearer almost immediately. The above paragraph looks completely silly. Those fears, though not completely unfounded, are not the truth. Assessments are not assertions. And essentially what I'm doing is limiting myself and the possibilities. Wherever I go, there will be competition. And I am only not good enough if I allow myself to be not good enough. And the part about friends is quite rubbish too lol, that's what I thought when I first entered 5c11 and I must say that attitude didn't serve me at all, though i'm amazingly lucky to have awesome tzuhsiang and jess =] I chose not to connect with others, and I really regret the narrow-mindedness.
I have a vision, I kinda know what I want out of my university education. I want to emerge, at the end of it all, a confident, independent and determined woman. And that means putting myself to the test, challenging my limits, stepping out of the comfort zone.
So......
Hello SMU!
HUGE SENSE OF RELIEF WHEN I CONFIRMED THE CHOICE!!! And kinda happy + excited too! =]
Haha papa says he will drop by SMU to bring me to lunch provided that I have good restaurant recommendations =D Shall do my research on Hungrygowhere lol. Mr Tong said I can work at SOT if i want to even when school starts but even if I don't, the office is so near I can pop by anytime!
Ok am going to go on with playing + relaxing my heart out before August comes around, will be 100% prepared to work hard & play hard!