(no subject)
Since i've been in college, only a couple months now, i feel so relaxed, well rested, and comfortable. The campus is tiny, and it looks so beautiful in the fall. The city is run down and sad but it's still exciting to walk around and see everything going on. I keep telling myself "enjoy this." because, when will i ever choose to live in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania? Never. I'll move on to bigger cities, with more culture and more interesting people. But part of me asks myself "Why cant i do that NOW?". It's comfortable here but maybe a little too comfortable. I want to throw myself into what i love, with people who love similar things. The idea of transferring to Drexel is becoming more and more of a reality. Of course i'd be sad to leave here, but I need to take charge of my life and do what my heart and mind wants, and it's to be in a city. Drexel has a co-op program, so i'd work at a job for part of my grade. They have everything I want, and always have had it. So it's really becoming real. Maybe next year.
I got my nose pierced today. a hoop. next is a tattoo. I know exactly what i want. I feel myself becoming more and more of what I want to be. I feel confident and proud of myself and i'm not quite sure why. 90% of the people here are abercrombie clad, with beer on their minds and OAR and Soulja Boy in their ears, but i don't mind it. Feeling different somehow has given me power and more of an urgency to dress however i want to dress, do whatever i want to do, regardless of what anyone else feels. I don't feel judged for the first time in my life, even though I'm probably considered weird or different here, more so than any other time in my life. What kills me with the college lifestyle is how hooking up is so common, but it's almost that feeling of being not important that takes over me sometimes. i know i can offer a lot to a person, i'm a good person to be with. and i just wish someone would realize it. or atleast the RIGHT person to realize it. No one wants a relationship, and well, i will finally admit it, but i do. i really do. it's lonely sometimes.
I got my nose pierced today. a hoop. next is a tattoo. I know exactly what i want. I feel myself becoming more and more of what I want to be. I feel confident and proud of myself and i'm not quite sure why. 90% of the people here are abercrombie clad, with beer on their minds and OAR and Soulja Boy in their ears, but i don't mind it. Feeling different somehow has given me power and more of an urgency to dress however i want to dress, do whatever i want to do, regardless of what anyone else feels. I don't feel judged for the first time in my life, even though I'm probably considered weird or different here, more so than any other time in my life. What kills me with the college lifestyle is how hooking up is so common, but it's almost that feeling of being not important that takes over me sometimes. i know i can offer a lot to a person, i'm a good person to be with. and i just wish someone would realize it. or atleast the RIGHT person to realize it. No one wants a relationship, and well, i will finally admit it, but i do. i really do. it's lonely sometimes.