Local farmer releases cattle early
Jordan Morningstar, Bureau Chief
Goodlands Bureau
Local cattle farmer George Dubya Jr. "released" one of his yearling heiffers named Bessie after only three days in pasture.
"She was supposed to be in there for a few years, but I'm gonna let her go early on account of good behaviour" Dubya claimed.
Dubya's decision to release Bessie came as a shock to ward 3 councillor, Mirabel King. "I woke up, and his goddamn cow was on my lawn, eating my flowers!"
But to Dubya, it's in Bessie's best interest to be on her own. "She really didn't like it in that pasture. Besides, this is a democratic country, so that heiffer can graze wherever she wants."
"Democracy my ass" replied Hubert Hill, former water manager. "That cow is out because he's got a great big hole in his fence. Geez, I dunno why he doesn't just fix the damn thing. That's no goddamned way to run a farm."
Bessie declined to leave comment.
Goodlands Bureau
Local cattle farmer George Dubya Jr. "released" one of his yearling heiffers named Bessie after only three days in pasture.
"She was supposed to be in there for a few years, but I'm gonna let her go early on account of good behaviour" Dubya claimed.
Dubya's decision to release Bessie came as a shock to ward 3 councillor, Mirabel King. "I woke up, and his goddamn cow was on my lawn, eating my flowers!"
But to Dubya, it's in Bessie's best interest to be on her own. "She really didn't like it in that pasture. Besides, this is a democratic country, so that heiffer can graze wherever she wants."
"Democracy my ass" replied Hubert Hill, former water manager. "That cow is out because he's got a great big hole in his fence. Geez, I dunno why he doesn't just fix the damn thing. That's no goddamned way to run a farm."
Bessie declined to leave comment.