RCMP officer's actions justified by University of Athens Study
Jordan Morningstar, Bureau Chief
Goodlands Bureau
Nearly twenty-three years after they started, RCMP Const. Tom Doolittle's daily naps have finally been justified by a recent medical study.
A six-year study involving over 24,000 adults in Greece has determined that those who regularly take mid-day siestas are less likely to die of heart disease.
"And that's precisely why I take cat-naps in my police cruiser in the afternoon" insists Const. Doolittle, from his parked cruiser behind a tree grove, ten miles from town. "Who would represent the law if I was to die of heart disease?"
Dr. Dimitrios Trichopoulos, one of the senior authors of the study, claimed "having a siesta reduces your probability of dying by about one third third." More specifically, those that napped at least half an hour per day, three days a week, reduced their chances of death from heart disease by 37%. The results were more pronounced in employed men versus unemployed men.
However, not everyone in town agrees. "Christ, what's gonna happen when something actually happens?" exclaimed Hubert Hill. "You know, I don't think he's really worried about heart disease," added Hill's wife, Betty. "If he really was concerned, he could just cut trans fats from his diet, that ought to do the trick."
But for the forseeable future, short naps will remain Doolittle's heart-disease fighter of choice. "What part of the cow does a 'trans fats' come from? I'm living proof that napping is good for a person. Anyone that disagrees probably has something to hide.
Goodlands Bureau
Nearly twenty-three years after they started, RCMP Const. Tom Doolittle's daily naps have finally been justified by a recent medical study.
A six-year study involving over 24,000 adults in Greece has determined that those who regularly take mid-day siestas are less likely to die of heart disease.
"And that's precisely why I take cat-naps in my police cruiser in the afternoon" insists Const. Doolittle, from his parked cruiser behind a tree grove, ten miles from town. "Who would represent the law if I was to die of heart disease?"
Dr. Dimitrios Trichopoulos, one of the senior authors of the study, claimed "having a siesta reduces your probability of dying by about one third third." More specifically, those that napped at least half an hour per day, three days a week, reduced their chances of death from heart disease by 37%. The results were more pronounced in employed men versus unemployed men.
However, not everyone in town agrees. "Christ, what's gonna happen when something actually happens?" exclaimed Hubert Hill. "You know, I don't think he's really worried about heart disease," added Hill's wife, Betty. "If he really was concerned, he could just cut trans fats from his diet, that ought to do the trick."
But for the forseeable future, short naps will remain Doolittle's heart-disease fighter of choice. "What part of the cow does a 'trans fats' come from? I'm living proof that napping is good for a person. Anyone that disagrees probably has something to hide.