Sigh
Thinking about how unattractive competitiveness is as a trait on someone. At the end of the day, I’m either a spoilt sport or a sore loser... the worst part is knowing that I hurt people along the way when I’m so focused on my goals.
It all started from just one small card game la but I can’t shake off the feeling that this is exactly how my friends knew I’d be because all day (and all the time actually) they’ve been mentioning how competitive I am.
I really wonder if this part of me stems from my insecurities and being the last child of four, or if it’s something I inherited from my mother. Either way, it’s getting ugly and I can’t help but just feel shame.
It’s really time to pull back the reigns and keep this in check. I hate how this regret feels and I want to work on myself so that I’ll never feel this again.
(Also, what is up with lj’s new format of posting entries on the app it’s soooo strange like asking me to post a story on ig??)