A Place To Hide - Effy
Title: A Place To Hide
Pairing: Effy, Emily/Naomi, Effy/Emily
Rating: Quite a bit of swearing, 'F' and 'C' words so probably R.
Word Count: 1,519
Disclaimer: I don't any of Skins or any of the characters, although i do wish Lily Loveless was mine ;-)
Summary: This is a bit of a companion piece to my Naomily story. Tried to do a bit of an insight into Effy's character and her part in the story. Hope you all like it :)
Effy
As Effy walked home from the park the wind became colder and colder until the t-shirt/dress she was wearing was utterly useless against it. It was her style though, the whole don’t give a shit kind of look was totally hers. Katie and all those other try-hards could never pull it off, they worried too damn much. They worried about everything, and Effy just didn’t get it. Didn’t get all the worry and fear and paranoia, why waste your whole life wondering what other people think about you, whether they’re all going to stop being friends with you because of some stupid fucking thing. In Effy’s opinion it was easier to just not have friends.
At least that had always been her plan, ever since all the shit with Tony and then her mum being a cheating whore and her dad buggering off; don’t have any friends, don’t let anyone in - it was kind of like her motto for life. But the thing was, everyone seemed to just want to be friends with her in spite of, or maybe because of, her indifference and lack of emotion. They all thought she was some big fucking mystery to be cracked, that one day someone would be able to get past the shield that Effy Stonem had put up and fix her. What they all didn’t seem to realise was that there was nothing to fix.
So she might be quiet, she might prefer watching people and listening to what they think rather than putting herself out there, but that was purely because when you watch people you pick up on stuff. You see all the things they don’t want you to see, and by doing that you can immediately tell exactly what kind of a person they are. More often than not they’re all bastards - that’s definitely something she’s come to see over the past year or so.
Most people are really fucking shit, and what’s worse is that most of them don’t see it, and even if they do they don’t want to be any better. Take Katie, for example, what kind of a person won’t accept her own twin just because she’s gay. Katie’s complete and utter selfishness and disregard for anyone else, had come as a massive surprise to her sister, not to Effy. Effy had known from the first day of college exactly what kind of a girl Katie Fitch was, a bitch in the truest sense of the word. Thing was, now she felt kind of bad for not warning Emily, not telling her that Katie wasn’t the person she wanted her to be. But that wasn’t her place, Effy Stonem did not get in the middle of other people’s shit, it wasn’t how she worked. Don’t get caught up in people’s emotions, they’ll only drag you down with them.
She walked up to her room, not even bothering to wonder where dearest ma was - probably in exactly the same place as she had been for the past two weeks, every time Effy got home she was sprawled out on the sofa surrounded by empty bottles and stinking like the floor of a club. It was disgusting, Effy knew she should really have more sympathy for her and be there for her like a good daughter, but she’d been pushed too far. She’d tried at first, to be there, to support, to love. But it was hard for her to be like that with people, and when all she got in return was a slap every time she tried to help it became pretty easy for her to stop caring. She’d tried getting Tony to come and help, hoping he was more emotionally stable than her. But being the bastard he’d always been he decided to stay at uni. She loved her brother more than anyone, she really did, but the truth was he was a complete and utter bastard - no surprise there.
As soon as she was in her room she pulled her shirt/dress over her head and sat on the edge of her bed, lighting a cigarette. That was when she caught sight of a sock poking out from underneath her wardrobe, Emily’s sock. All this time she’d spent trying to be as distant and indifferent as possible was being undone by a certain redhead.
At first Emily had just made her want to laugh out loud, every time she saw her at a party she had to bite her lip to stop her usual half-smile turning into a full on laughing fit. It was the way Emily was so fucking naive. So ready to believe in the world, in her sister, in love. It was almost painful for Effy to watch after a while, when she came to realise that not only was this girl incredibly naive but she was pretty fucking miserable as well. She’d not felt the urge to laugh again after that, just wanted to figure out why. Why this girl could be at a party where everyone was getting royally fucked up and still look like she was sat in the headmaster’s office getting a good telling off. She looked really fucking broken, and it made her wonder why everyone was so desperate to fix her when there was Emily, who looked so fucking lonely. It was so obvious to Effy, how could everyone else have missed it.
So she tried to smile at Emily whenever their eyes met, tried to look as reassuring and comforting as she could. Trouble was, Effy didn’t know how to be comforting, she’d never really bothered with it before and couldn’t really figure why she was now. Eventually she’d pretty much figured out that Emily was gay. It was the way she looked at other girls, the way she looked at Katie when she was all over boys - like she couldn’t quite understand it. Looking back on it now, she probably knew for sure that Emily was gay before she did.
Ever since then she’d just been waiting for Emily to do something, like show up at her house in tears, because something had passed between them whenever their eyes met, some kind of understanding. She always got the feeling that the redhead didn’t like her, but that wasn’t a new feeling for her, it was just a matter of time until they got over it and wanted to be friends with her anyway.
So when Emily had shown up at her house, she’d tried her best to keep up that promise she’d made with her eyes so many times. The promise that she knew what was going on with Em, that she would be there when she needed her, that somehow without even really talking they were friends. She didn’t even know why she’d made the promise, didn’t even know if Emily was aware of it, all she knew was that Emily was wearing down the shield that Effy had always put up and it was scary. It was scary but at the same time she didn’t bother trying to put up any resistance - after all, how much could little Emily Fitch hurt her. Quite a fucking lot as it turns out.
She sat thinking about Emily for a good half hour, hating herself more and more every minute. She was thinking about calling the cock-on-legs again, maybe fucking would help this time. ‘No fucking chance’ she thought, ‘not a bloody chance’. She was just searching for the vodka she knew she’d hidden somewhere when there was a light knock on her bedroom door.
“Fuck off mum. I haven’t got any of your fucking booze.” She shouted, still searching for the vodka.
There was no reply, just the sound of a quiet sob. So she turned to the door and pulled it open wearing nothing but her underwear and a furious scowl, and felt herself soften at the sight before her.
“Ef...” the redhead sobbed, and for the second time that day she wrapped her arms around Emily, trying to make it all better without even knowing what was wrong.
“Sshhh,” she whispered soothingly, pulling Emily into her room and closing the door behind them. As she lowered herself and the shuddering redhead down onto her bed, and just sat holding her and whispering soothing noises every now and then, she suddenly became very aware of how little she was wearing.
Eventually Emily calmed herself enough so that Effy thought it safe to get up and pull on a baggy t-shirt. Emily looked so fucking raw, so broken, she kept wondering what had happened - presumably something had gone wrong with the blonde. She couldn’t ask, didn’t want to, she just wanted to be there for Ems like she’d never been there for anyone before.
It was time Effy Stonem grew the fuck up, and stopped being so bloody distant. It was time she stopped not caring, Emily needed her to care, she would care.
Emily was broken, and it was her turn to try and fix someone. Because if anyone needed fixing it was the redhead sat on her bed.
Part 16
------
Hope you all liked this, i just fancied writing about effy a bit more.
Pairing: Effy, Emily/Naomi, Effy/Emily
Rating: Quite a bit of swearing, 'F' and 'C' words so probably R.
Word Count: 1,519
Disclaimer: I don't any of Skins or any of the characters, although i do wish Lily Loveless was mine ;-)
Summary: This is a bit of a companion piece to my Naomily story. Tried to do a bit of an insight into Effy's character and her part in the story. Hope you all like it :)
Effy
As Effy walked home from the park the wind became colder and colder until the t-shirt/dress she was wearing was utterly useless against it. It was her style though, the whole don’t give a shit kind of look was totally hers. Katie and all those other try-hards could never pull it off, they worried too damn much. They worried about everything, and Effy just didn’t get it. Didn’t get all the worry and fear and paranoia, why waste your whole life wondering what other people think about you, whether they’re all going to stop being friends with you because of some stupid fucking thing. In Effy’s opinion it was easier to just not have friends.
At least that had always been her plan, ever since all the shit with Tony and then her mum being a cheating whore and her dad buggering off; don’t have any friends, don’t let anyone in - it was kind of like her motto for life. But the thing was, everyone seemed to just want to be friends with her in spite of, or maybe because of, her indifference and lack of emotion. They all thought she was some big fucking mystery to be cracked, that one day someone would be able to get past the shield that Effy Stonem had put up and fix her. What they all didn’t seem to realise was that there was nothing to fix.
So she might be quiet, she might prefer watching people and listening to what they think rather than putting herself out there, but that was purely because when you watch people you pick up on stuff. You see all the things they don’t want you to see, and by doing that you can immediately tell exactly what kind of a person they are. More often than not they’re all bastards - that’s definitely something she’s come to see over the past year or so.
Most people are really fucking shit, and what’s worse is that most of them don’t see it, and even if they do they don’t want to be any better. Take Katie, for example, what kind of a person won’t accept her own twin just because she’s gay. Katie’s complete and utter selfishness and disregard for anyone else, had come as a massive surprise to her sister, not to Effy. Effy had known from the first day of college exactly what kind of a girl Katie Fitch was, a bitch in the truest sense of the word. Thing was, now she felt kind of bad for not warning Emily, not telling her that Katie wasn’t the person she wanted her to be. But that wasn’t her place, Effy Stonem did not get in the middle of other people’s shit, it wasn’t how she worked. Don’t get caught up in people’s emotions, they’ll only drag you down with them.
She walked up to her room, not even bothering to wonder where dearest ma was - probably in exactly the same place as she had been for the past two weeks, every time Effy got home she was sprawled out on the sofa surrounded by empty bottles and stinking like the floor of a club. It was disgusting, Effy knew she should really have more sympathy for her and be there for her like a good daughter, but she’d been pushed too far. She’d tried at first, to be there, to support, to love. But it was hard for her to be like that with people, and when all she got in return was a slap every time she tried to help it became pretty easy for her to stop caring. She’d tried getting Tony to come and help, hoping he was more emotionally stable than her. But being the bastard he’d always been he decided to stay at uni. She loved her brother more than anyone, she really did, but the truth was he was a complete and utter bastard - no surprise there.
As soon as she was in her room she pulled her shirt/dress over her head and sat on the edge of her bed, lighting a cigarette. That was when she caught sight of a sock poking out from underneath her wardrobe, Emily’s sock. All this time she’d spent trying to be as distant and indifferent as possible was being undone by a certain redhead.
At first Emily had just made her want to laugh out loud, every time she saw her at a party she had to bite her lip to stop her usual half-smile turning into a full on laughing fit. It was the way Emily was so fucking naive. So ready to believe in the world, in her sister, in love. It was almost painful for Effy to watch after a while, when she came to realise that not only was this girl incredibly naive but she was pretty fucking miserable as well. She’d not felt the urge to laugh again after that, just wanted to figure out why. Why this girl could be at a party where everyone was getting royally fucked up and still look like she was sat in the headmaster’s office getting a good telling off. She looked really fucking broken, and it made her wonder why everyone was so desperate to fix her when there was Emily, who looked so fucking lonely. It was so obvious to Effy, how could everyone else have missed it.
So she tried to smile at Emily whenever their eyes met, tried to look as reassuring and comforting as she could. Trouble was, Effy didn’t know how to be comforting, she’d never really bothered with it before and couldn’t really figure why she was now. Eventually she’d pretty much figured out that Emily was gay. It was the way she looked at other girls, the way she looked at Katie when she was all over boys - like she couldn’t quite understand it. Looking back on it now, she probably knew for sure that Emily was gay before she did.
Ever since then she’d just been waiting for Emily to do something, like show up at her house in tears, because something had passed between them whenever their eyes met, some kind of understanding. She always got the feeling that the redhead didn’t like her, but that wasn’t a new feeling for her, it was just a matter of time until they got over it and wanted to be friends with her anyway.
So when Emily had shown up at her house, she’d tried her best to keep up that promise she’d made with her eyes so many times. The promise that she knew what was going on with Em, that she would be there when she needed her, that somehow without even really talking they were friends. She didn’t even know why she’d made the promise, didn’t even know if Emily was aware of it, all she knew was that Emily was wearing down the shield that Effy had always put up and it was scary. It was scary but at the same time she didn’t bother trying to put up any resistance - after all, how much could little Emily Fitch hurt her. Quite a fucking lot as it turns out.
She sat thinking about Emily for a good half hour, hating herself more and more every minute. She was thinking about calling the cock-on-legs again, maybe fucking would help this time. ‘No fucking chance’ she thought, ‘not a bloody chance’. She was just searching for the vodka she knew she’d hidden somewhere when there was a light knock on her bedroom door.
“Fuck off mum. I haven’t got any of your fucking booze.” She shouted, still searching for the vodka.
There was no reply, just the sound of a quiet sob. So she turned to the door and pulled it open wearing nothing but her underwear and a furious scowl, and felt herself soften at the sight before her.
“Ef...” the redhead sobbed, and for the second time that day she wrapped her arms around Emily, trying to make it all better without even knowing what was wrong.
“Sshhh,” she whispered soothingly, pulling Emily into her room and closing the door behind them. As she lowered herself and the shuddering redhead down onto her bed, and just sat holding her and whispering soothing noises every now and then, she suddenly became very aware of how little she was wearing.
Eventually Emily calmed herself enough so that Effy thought it safe to get up and pull on a baggy t-shirt. Emily looked so fucking raw, so broken, she kept wondering what had happened - presumably something had gone wrong with the blonde. She couldn’t ask, didn’t want to, she just wanted to be there for Ems like she’d never been there for anyone before.
It was time Effy Stonem grew the fuck up, and stopped being so bloody distant. It was time she stopped not caring, Emily needed her to care, she would care.
Emily was broken, and it was her turn to try and fix someone. Because if anyone needed fixing it was the redhead sat on her bed.
Part 16
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Hope you all liked this, i just fancied writing about effy a bit more.