Journaling
So had my first ever appointment with a therapist/psychiatrist today. It went much better than I was worried that it might. I went into the appointment with alot of queries, concerns and worries. I think my biggest concern going into the whole appointment thing was being worried the doctor would try to spin me around, confuse me or make me feel like my feelings and such were wrong. Maybe it was some mis-guided lack of trust in the profession or because I have an HMO and Kaiser to boot that I felt that way. The therapist that randomly fell my way though was pretty good (I have no comparison so he can't be bad or good) and I left feeling really positive, I only wish that I had decided to try this earlier.
Despite those worries that I had about a therapist trying to convince me my feelings were wrong, my doctor was supportive attentive and listened patiently seeming to believe my concerns, and shockingly enough -wanting me to continue them. He was impressed or shocked, not really sure which, at how long I had been battling these feelings and that I had never exploded. When we were done we set another appointment and he gave me homework- how rude. Which is really the point of this post. He wants me to start journaling my feelings, concerns, desires, etc. I think he was thinking in a book written form but since I have this outlet and some friends to read and give advice or just listen I think I will use LJ instead. Which is funny because certain other people in my life have been trying to get me on here FOREVER (at least she didn't say I told you so). The odd part for me with this is I used to journal when I was like thirteen or fourteen and had some similarly different issues which I thought at the time were wrong and caused by one thing, but now looking back see that it was just related to this whole process.
One of the things I am supposed to think and journal about is where I see the future in like a year five years etc., from a personal, professional and gender related stance to name a few areas. This is something I am hoping ANYONE that reads this can pitch in their two cents (for now I will post these as public cause who knows who I may stumble across, and why not start getting things out in the open, no matter where the future goes! Right?). Growing up I always followed the societal view of how things should be: school, job, family, career, happiness. In interviews when asked, "Where do you see yourself in 'x' years?" I always answered in some upper-management position with whatever company I was working or interviewing for. But you know what, I don't know that is what I want anymore. I still want to be a manager and a leader, but.......................
So please for anyone interested in sharing, any thoughts on where you see yourselves in the future? I remember like ten years ago the answer to that question was something along the lines of Christian youth counselor, boy how times have changed... (haahaa)
Jess
Despite those worries that I had about a therapist trying to convince me my feelings were wrong, my doctor was supportive attentive and listened patiently seeming to believe my concerns, and shockingly enough -wanting me to continue them. He was impressed or shocked, not really sure which, at how long I had been battling these feelings and that I had never exploded. When we were done we set another appointment and he gave me homework- how rude. Which is really the point of this post. He wants me to start journaling my feelings, concerns, desires, etc. I think he was thinking in a book written form but since I have this outlet and some friends to read and give advice or just listen I think I will use LJ instead. Which is funny because certain other people in my life have been trying to get me on here FOREVER (at least she didn't say I told you so). The odd part for me with this is I used to journal when I was like thirteen or fourteen and had some similarly different issues which I thought at the time were wrong and caused by one thing, but now looking back see that it was just related to this whole process.
One of the things I am supposed to think and journal about is where I see the future in like a year five years etc., from a personal, professional and gender related stance to name a few areas. This is something I am hoping ANYONE that reads this can pitch in their two cents (for now I will post these as public cause who knows who I may stumble across, and why not start getting things out in the open, no matter where the future goes! Right?). Growing up I always followed the societal view of how things should be: school, job, family, career, happiness. In interviews when asked, "Where do you see yourself in 'x' years?" I always answered in some upper-management position with whatever company I was working or interviewing for. But you know what, I don't know that is what I want anymore. I still want to be a manager and a leader, but.......................
So please for anyone interested in sharing, any thoughts on where you see yourselves in the future? I remember like ten years ago the answer to that question was something along the lines of Christian youth counselor, boy how times have changed... (haahaa)
Jess