(no subject)

[golden_mistake_]

Everybody loves my mom, but behind closed doors, it's a different story. She comes home from work everyday and all she does is scream at me... for no reason. She takes everything out on me and no matter what happens in her day, everything always ends up being my fault. But the funny thing is, is when she's screaming at me, and I sit there and defend myself because I know how clearly wrong she is and then I go upstairs to get away from her, she knocks on my door and then pretends to be my best friend. This is a daily occurance. It puts me in such an emotional roller coaster, and it's not right. She's so fake and I can't take it. All she does all day is talk on the phone with boys and giggle like a 12 year old girl- which bothers me to no end. I sit in my room or I'm with Scott, there's barely any interaction through out our day unless she offers to give me money when I go out- which I appreciate so much and I know she doesn't have to do that. But the rest of our relationship is so messed up. She tells people we're more like best friends than we are mother and daughter, which is the biggest lie I think I've ever heard. She doesn't listen to anything I say.. ever. All she does is talk to me about her life while I stare at my food at dinner. The worst is if we're near eachother and she's on the phone, she talks so loud I can hear the whole conversation, and then when she hangs up, she'll tell me every single word of it, like I didn't hear it. The hardest thing is, with College, according to her I'm not allowed to apply any farther than Maryland. Which isn't fair since I can't find a school around here I even like. She won't detach herself from me, and it's weird, since she really doesn't know me, she just knows I'm someone she can take things out on, and someone who she can repeat everything to over and over again. I think I need to get her a pet. This entry was more for my venting and less for your reading enjoyment.

Bright Eyes and The Faint in NYC = tomorrow. I can not wait.