[Fic Process] In the Space Between Heartbeats

[goldberry]

So, I'm shelving In the Space Between Heartbeats, otherwise known as the is-Hinata-really-dead? fic. This scene is causing me all sorts of trouble. I wanted to start out with it but anything that follows just seems terrible to me. I'm unhappy with the whole thing at this point so it's going on the shelf until I can figure out how to write it. I've

Comments

[magicnoire]

GeeBee, I'm emailing you some feedback that may help. (Or not.)

[goldberry]

THANK HEAVENS.

(Did I mention I wubble you? Because I do. ♥)

Don't look too closely at the Neji scene. It's awful. Ugh.

[byakugan13]

yaaay! update!! i really liked this one, especially lee and neji's scene:

A little unbalanced by his teammate's reaction, Lee reminded him, "Tenten would not have let that happen. Not without a fight." Neji looked at him and Lee froze, hearing suddenly his own words. Tenten would have fought to the death before giving up Hinata and the secrets of the Hyuuga's blood limit. To the death. Lee's expression firmed. "They're still alive, Neji."

it's VERY moving!! please update soon! woot for nejiten!

[wordynessie]

Aw, Berry. It's not as bad as you think, and here's my two cents

[goldberry]

It does help, dear. Vern and I were just talking about it and she told me that "conflict" is my problem here, or the lackthereof. ;D

So, I might not entirely scrap the two scenes but I think much of the narrative is going by the wayside.

*sighs in relief* It's so nice to have to be able to actually know the problem instead just wanting to tear paper into itsy tiny bits in frustration.

♥

[magicnoire]

The two scenes are definitely salvageable. They just need to be reworked. And that's what revision is for, right?