Fic: Would you like to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy?
There were some days where Chekov really wished his Standard were more... standard. Or that, like it would be in a fair and just world, everyone else's Russian were more Russian. Normally it didn't bother him: numbers were numbers in either language, and when the universal translator was working it didn't matter what language he felt like speaking that day, he could understand and be understood.
Today, however, Uhura was overhauling it, making it ones of those days. She had to upload a truly impressive amount of software so that the Enterprise could negotiate with the Kleqj!'thnl'ayiia, a species whose language was comprised of words shaped by not only consonants and vowels, but by up to three combinations of pitches and a fair amount of tentacle waving as well. It meant that the occasional concept he had been used to expressing in Russian was met with a blank stare, and he found himself fumbling for equivalent phrases in Standard for the first time in over a year.
The only good thing about this was that there had been enough of warning that he could ensure that he wasn't the only person who sounded like an idiot.
"Could you pass me the... numbers?" Hikaru asked. His Russian was at about the same level as a ten-year-old. Pavel thought it was adorable, although he decided that it would be better to just send over the course corrections than comment on it. Even if Hikaru might not understand what he was saying.
"Here you go," Pavel replied.
"Thanks."
Hikaru input the trajectories and began the pre-warp sequence. Then he stopped suddenly, and turned to Pavel. "My hovercraft is full of eels!" he exclaimed.
Pavel looked at him. "Say that again?"
"My hovercraft is full of eels!" Hikaru repeated, more insistently.
"...I do not think those words mean what you think they mean." Pavel said after a moment's thought.
Hikaru tilted his head, looking confused. "It's very woody, isn't it?
"What, the console?" Pavel said. "It looks like tin to me."
Hikaru looked down at his console, horrified. "Do you think we should tell the Ministry of Silly Walks?"
"The Ministry of what?"
"They should know if this is an ex-console,” Hikaru said, very seriously.
Pavel frowned. "Are you playing a joke?" he asked, switching to standard.
"...no, why?" Hikaru asked. "Was I saying something odd?"
"You told to call the Department of Silly Walks because the not-console was made of wood," Pavel told him. "And before that, your car was full of fish."
"And the moral of this story," Uhura said, not taking her eyes from the screen as she spot-checked the program. "Is to come to me when you need a phrase sheet, not the Captain."
Today, however, Uhura was overhauling it, making it ones of those days. She had to upload a truly impressive amount of software so that the Enterprise could negotiate with the Kleqj!'thnl'ayiia, a species whose language was comprised of words shaped by not only consonants and vowels, but by up to three combinations of pitches and a fair amount of tentacle waving as well. It meant that the occasional concept he had been used to expressing in Russian was met with a blank stare, and he found himself fumbling for equivalent phrases in Standard for the first time in over a year.
The only good thing about this was that there had been enough of warning that he could ensure that he wasn't the only person who sounded like an idiot.
"Could you pass me the... numbers?" Hikaru asked. His Russian was at about the same level as a ten-year-old. Pavel thought it was adorable, although he decided that it would be better to just send over the course corrections than comment on it. Even if Hikaru might not understand what he was saying.
"Here you go," Pavel replied.
"Thanks."
Hikaru input the trajectories and began the pre-warp sequence. Then he stopped suddenly, and turned to Pavel. "My hovercraft is full of eels!" he exclaimed.
Pavel looked at him. "Say that again?"
"My hovercraft is full of eels!" Hikaru repeated, more insistently.
"...I do not think those words mean what you think they mean." Pavel said after a moment's thought.
Hikaru tilted his head, looking confused. "It's very woody, isn't it?
"What, the console?" Pavel said. "It looks like tin to me."
Hikaru looked down at his console, horrified. "Do you think we should tell the Ministry of Silly Walks?"
"The Ministry of what?"
"They should know if this is an ex-console,” Hikaru said, very seriously.
Pavel frowned. "Are you playing a joke?" he asked, switching to standard.
"...no, why?" Hikaru asked. "Was I saying something odd?"
"You told to call the Department of Silly Walks because the not-console was made of wood," Pavel told him. "And before that, your car was full of fish."
"And the moral of this story," Uhura said, not taking her eyes from the screen as she spot-checked the program. "Is to come to me when you need a phrase sheet, not the Captain."