Fic: Judge Me By My Size, Do You?
Originally posted here.
This close to the Neutral Zone, Jim had been expecting to find the Enterprise facing down a Romulan warbird during red alerts. Instead, there was a little green gnome sitting in his chair.
And it wasn't even Keenser.
"Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?" he demanded.
"Yoda, I am," the gnome replied. "And to guide you, is why I am here."
Jim raised an eyebrow and looked at the twitchy Ensign who covered the comm station during gamma shift.
"Sorry sir," he apologized. "It's the best I can do."
Thankfully, Uhura chose that moment appear on the Bridge, followed shortly by Spock.
"Captain?" he inquired.
"This is Yoda," Jim told him, waving Uhura towards her station. She glared at him, but immediately got to work. "Apparently he's here to guide us."
"No, James T Kirk," Yoda said serenely. "For you, I am here to guide."
Spock's eyebrow nearly disappeared into his hairline. Uhura frowned and fiddled with the universal translator.
"...okay," Jim replied. "And what makes you think I'm following you anywhere?"
"Heed my advice, you should," Yoda retorted sharply. "Depends upon you, the fate of the galaxy does."
There was a terrifying half-second where Jim though he might be looking at an Extremely Old Spock from yet another universe where he was some sort of paragon, but thankfully the moment passed and he realized that was pretty unlikely.
"Very trying, the path ahead of you is," Yoda continued. "Protect your Federation, you must."
"The Captain has demonstrated an ability to protect the Federation against overwhelming odds of failure," Spock said swiftly. "And has continued a pattern of dedicated service since being officially appointed the Enterprise's Captain."
Jim didn't punch the air and do a happy dance at the praise, but it was a near thing. "What Mr. Spock is trying to say, is that protecting the Federation is my duty. It's all of our duties," he added, looking at where Uhura was busy trying to manipulate the syntax parameters of the universal translator, sitting stiffly because her ribs were still sore from a negotiation gone wrong. If he turned around, he could see Sulu, still sporting a bald spot from where emergency surgery was required, and Chekov, who had developed a habit of interlocking his fingers after a Klingon had decided the best way to ensure his cooperation was to break them one by one.
"But make the decisions, you must," Yoda said. "And when it comes to a choice between your crew and your ship, make the wrong one you will, I fear."
Jim didn't really have much of an answer to that. "I always try to make the right decision."
"Do or do not. There is no try," Yoda said, before promptly dissolving into nothingness before their eyes.
"...have you been experimenting with hallucinogenic plants again, Mr. Sulu?" Jim asked finally.
"No sir," Sulu replied swiftly.
"Stand down red alert," Jim ordered. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my quarters."
He stripped down and got under the covers, but did not sleep.
~*~
Author's notes here.
This close to the Neutral Zone, Jim had been expecting to find the Enterprise facing down a Romulan warbird during red alerts. Instead, there was a little green gnome sitting in his chair.
And it wasn't even Keenser.
"Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?" he demanded.
"Yoda, I am," the gnome replied. "And to guide you, is why I am here."
Jim raised an eyebrow and looked at the twitchy Ensign who covered the comm station during gamma shift.
"Sorry sir," he apologized. "It's the best I can do."
Thankfully, Uhura chose that moment appear on the Bridge, followed shortly by Spock.
"Captain?" he inquired.
"This is Yoda," Jim told him, waving Uhura towards her station. She glared at him, but immediately got to work. "Apparently he's here to guide us."
"No, James T Kirk," Yoda said serenely. "For you, I am here to guide."
Spock's eyebrow nearly disappeared into his hairline. Uhura frowned and fiddled with the universal translator.
"...okay," Jim replied. "And what makes you think I'm following you anywhere?"
"Heed my advice, you should," Yoda retorted sharply. "Depends upon you, the fate of the galaxy does."
There was a terrifying half-second where Jim though he might be looking at an Extremely Old Spock from yet another universe where he was some sort of paragon, but thankfully the moment passed and he realized that was pretty unlikely.
"Very trying, the path ahead of you is," Yoda continued. "Protect your Federation, you must."
"The Captain has demonstrated an ability to protect the Federation against overwhelming odds of failure," Spock said swiftly. "And has continued a pattern of dedicated service since being officially appointed the Enterprise's Captain."
Jim didn't punch the air and do a happy dance at the praise, but it was a near thing. "What Mr. Spock is trying to say, is that protecting the Federation is my duty. It's all of our duties," he added, looking at where Uhura was busy trying to manipulate the syntax parameters of the universal translator, sitting stiffly because her ribs were still sore from a negotiation gone wrong. If he turned around, he could see Sulu, still sporting a bald spot from where emergency surgery was required, and Chekov, who had developed a habit of interlocking his fingers after a Klingon had decided the best way to ensure his cooperation was to break them one by one.
"But make the decisions, you must," Yoda said. "And when it comes to a choice between your crew and your ship, make the wrong one you will, I fear."
Jim didn't really have much of an answer to that. "I always try to make the right decision."
"Do or do not. There is no try," Yoda said, before promptly dissolving into nothingness before their eyes.
"...have you been experimenting with hallucinogenic plants again, Mr. Sulu?" Jim asked finally.
"No sir," Sulu replied swiftly.
"Stand down red alert," Jim ordered. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my quarters."
He stripped down and got under the covers, but did not sleep.
~*~
Author's notes here.