(Probably) One-off list thingy.
1.Sasha Nein's first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
2.If you were an Oscar Meyer Wiener, Sasha Nein still wouldn't be in love with you.
3.During a particularly intense interrogation session, Sasha Nein actually killed a man with his bare eyes. That's why the agency makes him wear the sunglasses now.
4.If Sasha Nein was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Richard Reinike, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Hitler and Stalin. But only so they wouldn't have to see what he would do to Reinike.
5.Tired of the incessant whining and complaining, Sasha Nein found the dogs and let them right back in.
6.Vodka cannot start it's day without being drunk by Sasha Nein.
7.When you open a can of whoop-ass, Sasha Nein jumps out.
8.When Special Forces raided an afghan training camp, they found an empty camp, an Xbox and a pirated copy of Psychonauts played up to the marksmanship training level.
9.The Berlin Wall fell because Sasha Nein wanted to buy groceries from the other side where they were cheaper.
10.Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Sasha Nein laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
11.Sasha Nein doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at an ugly piece of furniture twelve miles away.
12.When Sasha Nein goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
13.Finding Nemo would have been vastly cooler if Sasha had gotten Maxwell to find Nemo.
14.If Sasha Nein is not gay. If he was gay, his name would be Captain Jack Sparrow.
15.When Sasha Nein uses Herbal Essences, the shampoo has an orgasm.
16.Sasha Nein doesn't need to carry an umbrella, he can dodge rain.
17.Shark attacks are not actually shark attacks. Sasha Nein hates surfers, and so does Maxwell.
18.Sasha Nein understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
19.Maxwell is a stunt double for the Kraken from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
20.Pluto is actually an orbiting group of Tiffany Lamps that fleed earth when they heard that Sasha Nein was coming for them.
21.Sasha Nein walked into a bar carrying Maxwell in his bowl. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
22.There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Sasha Nein lives in New York.
23.Sasha Nein invented the internet... just so he had a place to store his LiveJournal.
24.With the rising cost of gasoline, Sasha Nein is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
25.Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Sasha Nein's visit to a Tiffany Lamp factory in Tokyo.
26.Sasha Nein does not have a drinking problem. Alcohol has a Sasha Nein problem.
27.Sasha Nein knows the last digit of pi.
ADDITIONS, PLS. :D