I'm just a ray of sunshine lately.
Mum's on crutches- today she's sort of able to put some weight on the leg and walk a little, using them for primary support (which is a big step up from the previous two days when she pretty much couldn't use that knee at all). They don't rent crutches anymore, they sold them to her- which is probably good, what with how accident prone the entire family is.
Last night or this morning, my step grandfather passed away. My father is off on his way to Arizona to see his mother, at this point no one really knows where things will stand with her. The new place is better than the previous and she's settled down a little- but the nurse she was most fond of is, for some reason, no longer working there. That's aside from everything else, I'm sure at this point she's still in shock and not thinking about longer term plans (who would be, after all). This time his daughter in law actually has a good excuse for leaving town though- her daughter is having a c-section, so she's flying over to take care of her.
While it's desperately sad, for a lot of different reasons, it was probably long overdue- he'd been struggling with a lot of depression over how much their health had deteriorated and the whole living situation, to the point where he'd been making comments about how it would be better if he blew both of their brains out (and he was a devoutly religious man, who would have considered both murder and suicide a grave sin- he was that desperate). It's a horrible thing to say, but something we do have to think about- how my grandmother will deal, and if she'll survive him by much, at all. Neither of them would have survived the deaths of their first spouses without each other. I have some faint hope that she will have started to interact with more people at the new place, as she has some things in common with one of the owners (they were both seamstresses), and the proximity of the other residents living in the house with her so they couldn't have sequestered themselves away from everyone else quite as much. But still, only faint.
It reminds me that I had meant to post about my godfather passing away just after Christmas, but never got to it- he was also up in years, though he was healthy as anything (you wouldn't know he was in his 90s looking at him, and while he was a tad hard of hearing and moved a little slower, that was about the extent of it- he was still planning on an upcoming working trip to India) and just didn't wake up one morning. A contrast to the long slow fade, endlessly extended by modern medicine, he didn't have the same sort of struggle as his body failed him but he wasn't allowed to leave. I knew him better than either of my grandparents (probably ANY of my grandparents, truth be told, though I visited the other side a great deal when I was younger, before they passed away), because he was local, and I often went to see his films and went out to lunch with him and such. He lived a very full life, including doing some things that, quite literally, no one else could have done, because of his family, and how he grew up. A lot of that is being archived by UCLA, interviews with people that only he could have gotten to talk to him. He got to meet his grandchildren, though they are still quite young- he married a woman MANY years younger than he was (we're talking like...30 years or more), and none of his children were in any great rush to have kids. His eldest son has only been thinking about "settling down" with someone in the past couple of years (and has a huge visa headache that's made it less easy), his eldest daughter was a career woman who got married less than a decade ago but he did get to see her second child, and the middle son was the first to have kids, but lived far away so he didn't get to see them as often (the youngest son has, after many years of trying to decide what he wanted to do in life, finally found his niche- and he got to see that, too). But when you're talking about a life of achievements? He lived that. I skipped the funeral (taking care of animals while the parents went), but I heard afterwards that I would have hated it (and he would have too), it having been co-opted by various personalities he interacted with, who often tried to use him for their own gain (though they did, at least, have their usefulness to him as well, so he was willing to play that game).
And in (currently, though with the vultures that circle post death, it won't be for long) unrelated news: I am sick and tired of assholes who take advantage of other people.
Last night or this morning, my step grandfather passed away. My father is off on his way to Arizona to see his mother, at this point no one really knows where things will stand with her. The new place is better than the previous and she's settled down a little- but the nurse she was most fond of is, for some reason, no longer working there. That's aside from everything else, I'm sure at this point she's still in shock and not thinking about longer term plans (who would be, after all). This time his daughter in law actually has a good excuse for leaving town though- her daughter is having a c-section, so she's flying over to take care of her.
While it's desperately sad, for a lot of different reasons, it was probably long overdue- he'd been struggling with a lot of depression over how much their health had deteriorated and the whole living situation, to the point where he'd been making comments about how it would be better if he blew both of their brains out (and he was a devoutly religious man, who would have considered both murder and suicide a grave sin- he was that desperate). It's a horrible thing to say, but something we do have to think about- how my grandmother will deal, and if she'll survive him by much, at all. Neither of them would have survived the deaths of their first spouses without each other. I have some faint hope that she will have started to interact with more people at the new place, as she has some things in common with one of the owners (they were both seamstresses), and the proximity of the other residents living in the house with her so they couldn't have sequestered themselves away from everyone else quite as much. But still, only faint.
It reminds me that I had meant to post about my godfather passing away just after Christmas, but never got to it- he was also up in years, though he was healthy as anything (you wouldn't know he was in his 90s looking at him, and while he was a tad hard of hearing and moved a little slower, that was about the extent of it- he was still planning on an upcoming working trip to India) and just didn't wake up one morning. A contrast to the long slow fade, endlessly extended by modern medicine, he didn't have the same sort of struggle as his body failed him but he wasn't allowed to leave. I knew him better than either of my grandparents (probably ANY of my grandparents, truth be told, though I visited the other side a great deal when I was younger, before they passed away), because he was local, and I often went to see his films and went out to lunch with him and such. He lived a very full life, including doing some things that, quite literally, no one else could have done, because of his family, and how he grew up. A lot of that is being archived by UCLA, interviews with people that only he could have gotten to talk to him. He got to meet his grandchildren, though they are still quite young- he married a woman MANY years younger than he was (we're talking like...30 years or more), and none of his children were in any great rush to have kids. His eldest son has only been thinking about "settling down" with someone in the past couple of years (and has a huge visa headache that's made it less easy), his eldest daughter was a career woman who got married less than a decade ago but he did get to see her second child, and the middle son was the first to have kids, but lived far away so he didn't get to see them as often (the youngest son has, after many years of trying to decide what he wanted to do in life, finally found his niche- and he got to see that, too). But when you're talking about a life of achievements? He lived that. I skipped the funeral (taking care of animals while the parents went), but I heard afterwards that I would have hated it (and he would have too), it having been co-opted by various personalities he interacted with, who often tried to use him for their own gain (though they did, at least, have their usefulness to him as well, so he was willing to play that game).
And in (currently, though with the vultures that circle post death, it won't be for long) unrelated news: I am sick and tired of assholes who take advantage of other people.