NRT (8) decision-making
.
the NEXT RIGHT THING:
Emily P. Freeman
20. Pick What You Like
("small scale overwhelm")
what is supposed to be fun, delightful →
turns into overwhelm, discouragement, shame
= big idea vs. too many options
◘ You could start by acknowledging the fear
- if you feel beseiged by the small, inconsequential decisions of daily life, take a moment to acknowledge this feeling of smallness.
◘ 2. You are allowed to be here.
- You don’t have to be fancy, rich, chosen or special. You just get to be you. ... You are free. You have options.
◘ 3. Pick what you like, and then see how it grows.
Yes. Just this. In as many situations as possible.
It will be an adventure! They shout from the sidelines.
Don’t they remember how hard this is? Being new, being alone, learning all over again?
The prelude to starting over is often one long measure of goodbye. We’re supposed to be looking to the future with bright eyes and hopeful vision, but instead, we’re lingering in the past, gathering up the moments we’ve just left behind. [194 - 195]
◘◘ podcast
Father, comfort us in our grief.
Sustain us for this new journey.
Energize us to lift our heads & take one step forward into today.
Starting over is joy & trepidation, dread & celebration.
Keep pace with us as we learn to keep pace with You.
21. Wear Better Pants
(más cómodo)
◘ Practicing a spiritual discipline is not about trying to earn something, prove something, or win.
Practicing a spiritual discipline is more about receiving power to live in the kingdom.
It’s about training my mind and my will to practice what my heart deeply believes. It’s about knowing that each moment is packed with grace but sometimes I need practice to see it. It’s about becoming the person I already am in Christ.
Really anything can be a spiritual discipline when we recognize the presence of God with us in it.
.. I remembered how life with Christ is about being a whole person, not pieced out into important or unimportant parts, seen or unseen, sacred or secular.
In this one day I can carry both serious concerns in my soul and a pile of old clothes to the car. Making that pile of clothes was a spiritual practice for me that day, finally taking the time to honestly confront some of the small ways I've been disrespecting myself with clothes that don't fit. [208]
◘◘ podcast
* ... For all the ways we have experienced healing,
we know there is still so much within us that remains unseen.
Shine the warm light of grace into the shadows
& be the courage we need to respond.
Hold back shame, fear, & anger with your powerful hand
& extend to us your kindness.
We confess that we are seen & we are loved.
This is our truest story.
As we turn our face towards you,
may we see our true selves reflected in your gaze.
Open us up to a new way of practising our life,
then spin us back out into the world as people who know who we are.
Surprise us with a joy we cannot explain.
Give us the courage to show up as ourselves.
* Practice: I wonder if there’s anything you need to call a truce with? Nothing is off limits here. God is with you in every ordinary moment no matter how small.
22. Walk into a Room
◘ When we are comparing, we cannot connect.
◘ You may want to say no to something because you are afraid you won’t measure up. Or you may be glad to say yes to something because you feel pretty confident you’ll come out on top.… What if, instead of running decisions through the comparison grid, we chose to ask ourselves about connectedness?
When my role is clearly defined in a room, walking in is easier ...
But if my role is undefined… a social situation… a gathering ...
This is evidenced by the way I enter the room.
If I go in guarded, then I’m focused on myself and how I am perceived.
... Rather than the gathered, quiet strength available to me in Christ, I experience of physical feeling of disintegration. It’s like my body knows I’m holding back and is afraid to bring my full self to the table, settling instead on a false, partial version.
... How might I, in union with the Trinity, receive other people and respond as myself? How might I lean into my identity as beloved and cooperate with the Father, Son, and Spirit by creating space for people to step out of their own false story and wake up to their unique contribution to the making-new of all creation. Even more, how might my own willingness to be vulnerable with the group be a gift, regardless of their response to me?
If I walk into the room knowing who I am - beloved, abiding with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit - then people are not bound to respond in a certain way in order to make me feel safe. Maintaining my relational safety is not their job. If I can keep a posture of complete and absolute trust in Christ, then they are free and so am I.
... I want to walk into rooms with presence and on purpose, aware of people for God's sake rather than for my sake. I want to pay attention to how all the rooms in my life may poke and prod at my desire to be relevant, spectacular, and powerful.
I want to continue to imperfectly practice the spiritual disciplines of letting go by refusing to try to manufacture techniques that will help me avoid failure, mishaps, and mistakes.
I want to remember that true ministry is not something we do but is the overflow of an abiding life with God.
... I want to practice solitude more intentionally, to continue to get comfortable being alone with Jesus so I can more fully embrace my identity as beloved.
I want to image God in community through forgiveness and celebration, not in order to get acceptance but because I already have it.
I want to be gentle with myself and with others, and to remember our life in Christ is measured not with boundary lines, right practice, or perfectly made decisions but only by the love that experienced in the Trinity and handed out to us in abundance.
[217 - 219]
No matter what room we find ourselves in,
help us to remember that because of Christ:
… We are free to be quiet and free to be loud.
We are free to live in the centre, on the side, or in the back.
We are free to go.
We are free to stay home.
We are free to linger and leave early.
We are free to dream big and free to dream small.
We are free to draw boundaries and free to change our minds.
There's room at the table for all of us.
We are free. We are free. We are free.
May this change how we walk into rooms.
... Previous chapters 17, 18 & 19
the NEXT RIGHT THING:
Emily P. Freeman
20. Pick What You Like
("small scale overwhelm")
what is supposed to be fun, delightful →
turns into overwhelm, discouragement, shame
= big idea vs. too many options
◘ You could start by acknowledging the fear
- if you feel beseiged by the small, inconsequential decisions of daily life, take a moment to acknowledge this feeling of smallness.
◘ 2. You are allowed to be here.
- You don’t have to be fancy, rich, chosen or special. You just get to be you. ... You are free. You have options.
◘ 3. Pick what you like, and then see how it grows.
Yes. Just this. In as many situations as possible.
It will be an adventure! They shout from the sidelines.
Don’t they remember how hard this is? Being new, being alone, learning all over again?
The prelude to starting over is often one long measure of goodbye. We’re supposed to be looking to the future with bright eyes and hopeful vision, but instead, we’re lingering in the past, gathering up the moments we’ve just left behind. [194 - 195]
◘◘ podcast
Father, comfort us in our grief.
Sustain us for this new journey.
Energize us to lift our heads & take one step forward into today.
Starting over is joy & trepidation, dread & celebration.
Keep pace with us as we learn to keep pace with You.
21. Wear Better Pants
(más cómodo)
◘ Practicing a spiritual discipline is not about trying to earn something, prove something, or win.
Practicing a spiritual discipline is more about receiving power to live in the kingdom.
It’s about training my mind and my will to practice what my heart deeply believes. It’s about knowing that each moment is packed with grace but sometimes I need practice to see it. It’s about becoming the person I already am in Christ.
Really anything can be a spiritual discipline when we recognize the presence of God with us in it.
.. I remembered how life with Christ is about being a whole person, not pieced out into important or unimportant parts, seen or unseen, sacred or secular.
In this one day I can carry both serious concerns in my soul and a pile of old clothes to the car. Making that pile of clothes was a spiritual practice for me that day, finally taking the time to honestly confront some of the small ways I've been disrespecting myself with clothes that don't fit. [208]
◘◘ podcast
* ... For all the ways we have experienced healing,
we know there is still so much within us that remains unseen.
Shine the warm light of grace into the shadows
& be the courage we need to respond.
Hold back shame, fear, & anger with your powerful hand
& extend to us your kindness.
We confess that we are seen & we are loved.
This is our truest story.
As we turn our face towards you,
may we see our true selves reflected in your gaze.
Open us up to a new way of practising our life,
then spin us back out into the world as people who know who we are.
Surprise us with a joy we cannot explain.
Give us the courage to show up as ourselves.
* Practice: I wonder if there’s anything you need to call a truce with? Nothing is off limits here. God is with you in every ordinary moment no matter how small.
22. Walk into a Room
◘ When we are comparing, we cannot connect.
◘ You may want to say no to something because you are afraid you won’t measure up. Or you may be glad to say yes to something because you feel pretty confident you’ll come out on top.… What if, instead of running decisions through the comparison grid, we chose to ask ourselves about connectedness?
When my role is clearly defined in a room, walking in is easier ...
But if my role is undefined… a social situation… a gathering ...
This is evidenced by the way I enter the room.
If I go in guarded, then I’m focused on myself and how I am perceived.
... Rather than the gathered, quiet strength available to me in Christ, I experience of physical feeling of disintegration. It’s like my body knows I’m holding back and is afraid to bring my full self to the table, settling instead on a false, partial version.
... How might I, in union with the Trinity, receive other people and respond as myself? How might I lean into my identity as beloved and cooperate with the Father, Son, and Spirit by creating space for people to step out of their own false story and wake up to their unique contribution to the making-new of all creation. Even more, how might my own willingness to be vulnerable with the group be a gift, regardless of their response to me?
If I walk into the room knowing who I am - beloved, abiding with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit - then people are not bound to respond in a certain way in order to make me feel safe. Maintaining my relational safety is not their job. If I can keep a posture of complete and absolute trust in Christ, then they are free and so am I.
... I want to walk into rooms with presence and on purpose, aware of people for God's sake rather than for my sake. I want to pay attention to how all the rooms in my life may poke and prod at my desire to be relevant, spectacular, and powerful.
I want to continue to imperfectly practice the spiritual disciplines of letting go by refusing to try to manufacture techniques that will help me avoid failure, mishaps, and mistakes.
I want to remember that true ministry is not something we do but is the overflow of an abiding life with God.
... I want to practice solitude more intentionally, to continue to get comfortable being alone with Jesus so I can more fully embrace my identity as beloved.
I want to image God in community through forgiveness and celebration, not in order to get acceptance but because I already have it.
I want to be gentle with myself and with others, and to remember our life in Christ is measured not with boundary lines, right practice, or perfectly made decisions but only by the love that experienced in the Trinity and handed out to us in abundance.
[217 - 219]
No matter what room we find ourselves in,
help us to remember that because of Christ:
… We are free to be quiet and free to be loud.
We are free to live in the centre, on the side, or in the back.
We are free to go.
We are free to stay home.
We are free to linger and leave early.
We are free to dream big and free to dream small.
We are free to draw boundaries and free to change our minds.
There's room at the table for all of us.
We are free. We are free. We are free.
May this change how we walk into rooms.
... Previous chapters 17, 18 & 19