suck one dick, and you're a cocksucker for life
I got a phone call this morning that nobody ever wants to get. I was at work, and my phone rang. I had accidentally forgotten to turn the volume off when I got to my desk. So in between being incredibly embarassed that everybody could hear my ringtone (Changes in Latitude by Jimmy Buffett) and freaked that I would get in trouble for disrupting the people around me, I saw that my mom was on the caller id.
There was no good reason for her to call. An uncle had surgery yesterday - he had a lung removed, because of lung cancer - but that had gone well. However, I knew before I answered the phone that something terrible had happened.
Being right is often a miserable business. My mom was balling and practically hysterical. My uncle Chris, who had had the surgery yesterday, died this morning. They aren't sure if it was a massive heart attack, or a blood clot, or what. He's gone. He leaves behind a wife and three kids - one in college, two in high school.
This wasn't just any uncle. This was definitely my favorite uncle. He was generous, funny, smart, funny, outgoing, funny, did I mention funny? Holy shit. I don't know that I've ever laughed as hard as I did some of the times that my mom's family got together and partied. He said some hilarious shit, including the subject of this post. Was he politically correct? Fuck no. That was part of what made him great fun to be around.
There was no good reason for her to call. An uncle had surgery yesterday - he had a lung removed, because of lung cancer - but that had gone well. However, I knew before I answered the phone that something terrible had happened.
Being right is often a miserable business. My mom was balling and practically hysterical. My uncle Chris, who had had the surgery yesterday, died this morning. They aren't sure if it was a massive heart attack, or a blood clot, or what. He's gone. He leaves behind a wife and three kids - one in college, two in high school.
This wasn't just any uncle. This was definitely my favorite uncle. He was generous, funny, smart, funny, outgoing, funny, did I mention funny? Holy shit. I don't know that I've ever laughed as hard as I did some of the times that my mom's family got together and partied. He said some hilarious shit, including the subject of this post. Was he politically correct? Fuck no. That was part of what made him great fun to be around.