are you smarter than my white trash neighbors?
Last night, I had this brilliant idea: if I went to bed early (say, 11:30) then I could get a full 7 hours of sleep and actually feel good for the day.
I did get in bed before 11:30. I fell asleep reading a magazine and woke up before midnight, turned the light off (I don't do well with lights on) and was sound asleep for the night.
That is, until my EXCELLENT guard dog Doyle woke me up out of a sound sleep barking his damned head off just before 3am. I couldn't figure out what was going on - I checked the house and all was well. Then I noticed the motion detector light come on at the house behind me. I could hear people stumbling around outside and I'm thinking to myself, what the hell? As soon as that light came on, I saw two figures darting around. The lights go out, and I noticed two figures stumble into my yard in the moonlight. They run over to the big tree in the middle of my yard, and I hear a lot of noise but they're still behind the tree. Not being fully in my right mind, I shouted out the window, 'GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY YARD!' to which the guy retorts, screaming at the top of his lungs FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!
Then, he starts running, and falls full tilt into the side of my shed. I hear what I assume to be his girlfriend laughing and then they both bolt out of my yard.
Of course, I can't fall asleep at this point. I'm nervous that my house is gonna get egged or something.
After work today, I checked the yard out and found the cause for the fall - the kid caught a dog pile with his shoe (GOOD DOG!) and skidded. The noise wasn't them making out, but instead peeling bark off of my tree. Fuckers.
I did get in bed before 11:30. I fell asleep reading a magazine and woke up before midnight, turned the light off (I don't do well with lights on) and was sound asleep for the night.
That is, until my EXCELLENT guard dog Doyle woke me up out of a sound sleep barking his damned head off just before 3am. I couldn't figure out what was going on - I checked the house and all was well. Then I noticed the motion detector light come on at the house behind me. I could hear people stumbling around outside and I'm thinking to myself, what the hell? As soon as that light came on, I saw two figures darting around. The lights go out, and I noticed two figures stumble into my yard in the moonlight. They run over to the big tree in the middle of my yard, and I hear a lot of noise but they're still behind the tree. Not being fully in my right mind, I shouted out the window, 'GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY YARD!' to which the guy retorts, screaming at the top of his lungs FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!
Then, he starts running, and falls full tilt into the side of my shed. I hear what I assume to be his girlfriend laughing and then they both bolt out of my yard.
Of course, I can't fall asleep at this point. I'm nervous that my house is gonna get egged or something.
After work today, I checked the yard out and found the cause for the fall - the kid caught a dog pile with his shoe (GOOD DOG!) and skidded. The noise wasn't them making out, but instead peeling bark off of my tree. Fuckers.