Uh, my bad...
This divorce has turned me into such a whiny emo bastard. I've been even worse than hast was at his peak. For the last couple months where I was emoraging, I really damage a lot of my friendships. One of those friends is what helped me out of it. You ever have one of those moments where your mind just goes 'stop. Just stop' and in an instant your perspective on everything changes? Last week I was venting at a friend and taking out my anger on them while being very mean about it. We all know how mean I can be, but this was even more extreme than my usual. Then in my head popped the thought "Is this how I treat friends now? Really?" Suddenly, I realized how pathetic I was being. Whatever was driving me for the last couple months disappeared in that moment and I snapped out of the spiral I was in. I'm in control again. I'm not a happier person at the moment, but I'm not blowing up at people who don't deserve it either.
Now that I've regained sanity, of a sort, I'm trying to take stock in how badly I fucked everything all up. Sadly, at least a couple of my friendships are beyond repair, including the person above who helped me just by being there when I needed them. I went so far across the line that there is no way to walk it back. All I can do is apologize, promise to not bother them again, and leave them alone.
Most of you aren't close enough to me that you would have known what I've been like recently. A quirk of my personality is that I only every really get emotional with people I feel close to. For others, I just don't care to show much more than the same darkly cynical asshole persona I always do. The few that I have hurt, all I can say is I'm sorry. I wish I could have dealt with things without destroying relationships with people I really care about. I know I went way to far with some of you and I don't blame anyone but myself for how things worked out.
Now that I've regained sanity, of a sort, I'm trying to take stock in how badly I fucked everything all up. Sadly, at least a couple of my friendships are beyond repair, including the person above who helped me just by being there when I needed them. I went so far across the line that there is no way to walk it back. All I can do is apologize, promise to not bother them again, and leave them alone.
Most of you aren't close enough to me that you would have known what I've been like recently. A quirk of my personality is that I only every really get emotional with people I feel close to. For others, I just don't care to show much more than the same darkly cynical asshole persona I always do. The few that I have hurt, all I can say is I'm sorry. I wish I could have dealt with things without destroying relationships with people I really care about. I know I went way to far with some of you and I don't blame anyone but myself for how things worked out.