...i wanna feel the heat with somebody...
I think that I"m back to my regular self. After last night's epic depression and near suicidal flocked note, I got off of the computer, talked to my mom for about an hour just about random things and could see my mood for what it was. And hated it. I hated just how frantic I was, and how upset and just how everything I was. I had my two hour long cry and just let everything out and realized that I haven't cried in a while. I haven't just sat there and let it all out.
I went to bed, woke up feeling like someone had taken a baseball bat to my face (thank you migrane due to the effing rain). Went back to sleep and felt a bit better. Then today things have fallen back into place for me. I had breakfast, got a call from my surgeon and the physio centre, made an appointment to have my brace adjusted today and decided that I wasn't going to let things beyond my control control me.
And I have to say, I had a really good day. I finished my grandmother's scarf which made me happy, now I can start with other projects, and, god, learning how to knit had to be the best idea I have come up with. It's so calming and zen that I can do it for hours without even realizing it. Although I knew it was too early to have my brace adjusted for my leg, I went anyways. I can't have it fit properly until the staples come out and the swelling goes down, but the bruising is at 75% of what it was, so it's clearing up slowly. And the guy I saw, said it looks really good and is healing nicely, which made me feel much better. I told him that i was terrified I'd done something because of how it was bruised, but he assured me that it was normal and after a week it was actually looking really good. So that was a relief.
And then my friend and I went to get a sandwich and I came home to watch the end of the Y&R and do some random stuff before coming online. I'm exhausted, have just taken my pain killers, but I feel a thousand times better than I did last night, and that's what's important.
And now, since I did most of my catching up on things last night, I can finish tonight and even maybe get a fic or two read. *crosses fingers*
I went to bed, woke up feeling like someone had taken a baseball bat to my face (thank you migrane due to the effing rain). Went back to sleep and felt a bit better. Then today things have fallen back into place for me. I had breakfast, got a call from my surgeon and the physio centre, made an appointment to have my brace adjusted today and decided that I wasn't going to let things beyond my control control me.
And I have to say, I had a really good day. I finished my grandmother's scarf which made me happy, now I can start with other projects, and, god, learning how to knit had to be the best idea I have come up with. It's so calming and zen that I can do it for hours without even realizing it. Although I knew it was too early to have my brace adjusted for my leg, I went anyways. I can't have it fit properly until the staples come out and the swelling goes down, but the bruising is at 75% of what it was, so it's clearing up slowly. And the guy I saw, said it looks really good and is healing nicely, which made me feel much better. I told him that i was terrified I'd done something because of how it was bruised, but he assured me that it was normal and after a week it was actually looking really good. So that was a relief.
And then my friend and I went to get a sandwich and I came home to watch the end of the Y&R and do some random stuff before coming online. I'm exhausted, have just taken my pain killers, but I feel a thousand times better than I did last night, and that's what's important.
And now, since I did most of my catching up on things last night, I can finish tonight and even maybe get a fic or two read. *crosses fingers*