Unfucking
2 20/10 sessions of unfucking my backyard, 1 20/10 session of unfucking my life (okay, just paid some bills that I've been putting off for a couple of days. But it amuses me to put it in "unfucking" terms), maintenance unfucking of the kitchen and bathroom.
Go me!
I am having a hard time letting go of the resentment of leaving a perfectly clean kitchen in the morning and coming back to an unnecessarily messy kitchen. Okay, so y'all have to eat, I get that, but can't all the dishes be rinsed and stacked next to the sink, instead of scattered in all their messy glory all over the place? Sigh.
I realized a week or so ago (it just takes me a while sometimes to get past myself to act on my realizations. Makes me special, I know), that it was a really dumb move on my part, getting so mad and resentful over being the only one to routinely do any housework that I just refused to do it at all. That led to, instead of at least one person doing some of it at least most of the time, to no one doing any of it any of the time, and an incredibly fucked up environment, which was leading me to have an even more fucked up attitude. I've also discovered lately that I like using the F-word. Who knew?
So, I've decided that i'm to continue to ask in a polite manner, each and every day, for help with stuff. I'll suggest that certain tasks get done. If they get done, great, if they don't, I'm gong to decide whether I want to do them myself, or not. And if I don't want to do them today, for whatever reason, I won't. And I won't get mad at myself for it, either. Because really, that's who I was getting the most mad at- myself. For not being Superwoman. And that's not right. And yeah, I'm irritated that I'm not getting more help around the house, but me being mad about it isn't making a difference, so why do that to myself?
If it gets to be too much, if it gets to be where I feel like my willingness to meet my own need for a clean environment is being abused, I will just have to find an ultimatum to lay down that I can live with if I'm called on it.
Go me!
I am having a hard time letting go of the resentment of leaving a perfectly clean kitchen in the morning and coming back to an unnecessarily messy kitchen. Okay, so y'all have to eat, I get that, but can't all the dishes be rinsed and stacked next to the sink, instead of scattered in all their messy glory all over the place? Sigh.
I realized a week or so ago (it just takes me a while sometimes to get past myself to act on my realizations. Makes me special, I know), that it was a really dumb move on my part, getting so mad and resentful over being the only one to routinely do any housework that I just refused to do it at all. That led to, instead of at least one person doing some of it at least most of the time, to no one doing any of it any of the time, and an incredibly fucked up environment, which was leading me to have an even more fucked up attitude. I've also discovered lately that I like using the F-word. Who knew?
So, I've decided that i'm to continue to ask in a polite manner, each and every day, for help with stuff. I'll suggest that certain tasks get done. If they get done, great, if they don't, I'm gong to decide whether I want to do them myself, or not. And if I don't want to do them today, for whatever reason, I won't. And I won't get mad at myself for it, either. Because really, that's who I was getting the most mad at- myself. For not being Superwoman. And that's not right. And yeah, I'm irritated that I'm not getting more help around the house, but me being mad about it isn't making a difference, so why do that to myself?
If it gets to be too much, if it gets to be where I feel like my willingness to meet my own need for a clean environment is being abused, I will just have to find an ultimatum to lay down that I can live with if I'm called on it.