(no subject)
everyone knows i'm in over my head, over my head...
school's over in 2 days. first year of college done - check. i think i need a change of scenery. i need my friends really bad right now. i miss them ridiculously a lot. i do have some amazing friends here, but they just don't know enough from my past to understand. it's not their fault. are you ever mean sometimes because you're trying to keep your guard up, stay strong? like, if you're nice you know that the wall will break down and your better judgement will melt away and you'll get hurt? i do that. well, looks like it was just too much for me; i let my guard down and i got hurt. i'm sad. i know nothing's gonna change...but that's the part that hurts the most.
i wish you were a stranger i could disengage...