Happy Holidays, kindigo!
Gift for: Kindigo
From:
pseudo_geek
Liaison Triple with Sin
Ingredients:
1 angel
1 demon
1 nun
2 oz of evilness
400mL of misfortune
5 bottles of fine wine
2 bottles of rum
1 accident
Utensils:
1 Fell’s Bookshop basement
1 Taboo Conversation
1 Incomprehensible Conversation
1 Church
1 dozen of Questions about God, His Plan and Other Ineffable Things
1 Debate
1 WTF
1 Censor
1 Miracle
1 Death
1 Bed
Directions:
1. Put 1 angel and 1 demon in Fell's bookshop basement.
2. Add 3 bottles of fine wine.
3. Stir clockwise with Taboo Conversation [1]
4. Heat with medium fire.
5. Remove from fire after 5 hours and stir counterclockwise with an Incomprehensible Conversation.
Observation: The angel and the demon should be babbling about towers, plague, questionable justice and ridiculous systems.
(CROWLEY So there was… You know, lotsa screams and bricks falling…
AZIRAPHALE It’s those laws, you know, Newton and his… what was it called again? Something that starts with a G… Gr… Gro…
CROWLEY No, it was something like gra… gravi…
AZIRAPHALE Gravy?
CROWLEY Gravitation. When the tower got too… too… too high, it was dragged down again by… by… gravitation.)
5.5 Meanwhile, shower the nun in a church with misfortune to make a confused and depressed nun.
Observation: The nun should be screaming to the dark stormy sky, yelling about what in the world she has done and should do to get out of this situation.
6. Once thickened, add 1 confused and depressed nun.
7. Beat the whole with Questions about God, His Plan and Other Ineffable Things.
Observation: It should make a H-…Manchester of very chaotic mélange. The three should be talking all at the same time about everything and nothing.
8. Add 2 more bottles of fine wine.
Observation: The Chaos should be amplified.
9. Stir clockwise with Debate, then draw the sign of cross with WTF [2] while singing “Bohemian Rhapsody”.
10. Smash 1 accident into the mix (hard enough to mix the angel into the nun)
Note: At this stage, you should have two items in your Fell's bookshop basement: 1 demon and 1 angel/nun mix, bathed in a gentle bouillon of alcohol vapor, drunkenness and incomprehensibility. Now comes the hard part.
11. Dip the demon in evilness and insert 1/3 of the now evil demon into the angel/nun mix, just enough to produce Sin.
12. Wait for an hour, the basement should soon gain a rich fragrance of Sin.
Did you know… Sin is produced when one or more vows, taken sometime during the being’s existence or simply there since the beginning, is or are broken. In this case, the basic vow of orthodox catholic sisterhood, known as Vow of Chastity, is one of the two vows in question. The other broken vow is Thy-Shall-Not-Associate-With-Thine-Enemy, by the angel.
13. Now add 2 bottles of rum.
14. Add another 1/3 of the demon and let rest for another hour.
Note: Demon and angel must stay separate at this stage.
15. Simmer for 10 minutes on small fire.
16. Shake the whole in Drunken Stupor. Never mix angel and demon too fast; do it slowly, with vast quantities of Violence.
Tip: Keep the Violence pleasant for a creamier texture.
17. Now cover the mélange with Censor and wait till it calms down.
Observation: The mélange should be making quite a bit of noise right now. Do not panic, it should calm down eventually. The richest Sin will be produced at this stage.
18. Separate angel and nun with Miracle.
19. Remove nun with Death forty years later, when she is crisp enough.
20. Pour the rest of contents on Bed and enjoy.
Recipe © Lucifer Morningstar, his son and his friend Upstairs
P.S.: Make sure that the angel and demon cannot see you doing this.
------------------ Comment Box ------------------
Comment #1:
The Death of the Woman Who Was Once a Sister
The woman smiles faintly, deforming further her face of thousand folds. She rests herself in a wooden chair, her snow white hair sitting on her forehead like the crown of a queen. Death greets her as would a knight, and the White Queen gives him her hand, silently accepts to be taken away from this plane of existence. Her image remains in the throne till dawn, when the family would dress her like a maiden, wash her by fire and keep her in a tiny black box.
Comment #2:
What happened to the angel and the demon?
Reply to comment #2:
The Ineffable Relationship
The angel closes his book. The door rings. The demon enters, once again, without permission. He closes the door, turns the sign to CLOSED and guides the angel to the basement where the madness happened forty years ago. The angel takes out his best wines, gestures the demon to sit, and they start doing the same thing they did forty years ago, except that this time, no nun is involved. Although a mailman who has just lost his job might.
Comment #3:
First, I don’t remember being part of this. Second, don’t you have other things to do? No wonder nobody ever wins. Third, both sides should just stop messing around in this world. Last but not least, Dog looks lonely. Can it get a friend?
COMMENT #4:
WHY AM I NOT CREDITED IN THE COPYRIGHT DESPITE HAVING A ROLE IN THE MAKING? I DEMAND COMPENSATION. A PAID HOLIDAY WOULD BE NICE.
Reply to COMMENT #4:
A paid holiday to do what? Feeding ducks and petting cats?
REPLY TO REPLY:
TO CHANGE IDEAS.
Comment #5:
Was my comment invisible? Shall I post it again?
Reply to comment #5:
Actually, some peo- I mean beings prefer not to remind themselves of something that happened few years ago. I’m sure that they’ve read your message; they just pretend that they didn’t. If you want a dog, we can go get one tomorrow. As for the rest, let’s wait.
Reply to reply:
Thanks for answering, it wasn’t really important anyway. Where should we meet for the dog?
P.S.: Do we have to stay anonymous?
Reply to reply:
I’ll drive by yours tomorrow morning around 9 o’clock.
Yes, we have to stay anonymous unless someone has masochist tendencies. Post your name and you’ll surely be damned. I don’t think this will ever happen to you because of who you are, but we… I’ll shut up before my name gets written on more bad books.
[1] The Ineffable
[2] WTF: Known to WWII veterans and Mariners as “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot”
From:
pseudo_geek
Liaison Triple with Sin
Ingredients:
1 angel
1 demon
1 nun
2 oz of evilness
400mL of misfortune
5 bottles of fine wine
2 bottles of rum
1 accident
Utensils:
1 Fell’s Bookshop basement
1 Taboo Conversation
1 Incomprehensible Conversation
1 Church
1 dozen of Questions about God, His Plan and Other Ineffable Things
1 Debate
1 WTF
1 Censor
1 Miracle
1 Death
1 Bed
Directions:
1. Put 1 angel and 1 demon in Fell's bookshop basement.
2. Add 3 bottles of fine wine.
3. Stir clockwise with Taboo Conversation [1]
4. Heat with medium fire.
5. Remove from fire after 5 hours and stir counterclockwise with an Incomprehensible Conversation.
Observation: The angel and the demon should be babbling about towers, plague, questionable justice and ridiculous systems.
(CROWLEY So there was… You know, lotsa screams and bricks falling…
AZIRAPHALE It’s those laws, you know, Newton and his… what was it called again? Something that starts with a G… Gr… Gro…
CROWLEY No, it was something like gra… gravi…
AZIRAPHALE Gravy?
CROWLEY Gravitation. When the tower got too… too… too high, it was dragged down again by… by… gravitation.)
5.5 Meanwhile, shower the nun in a church with misfortune to make a confused and depressed nun.
Observation: The nun should be screaming to the dark stormy sky, yelling about what in the world she has done and should do to get out of this situation.
6. Once thickened, add 1 confused and depressed nun.
7. Beat the whole with Questions about God, His Plan and Other Ineffable Things.
Observation: It should make a H-…Manchester of very chaotic mélange. The three should be talking all at the same time about everything and nothing.
8. Add 2 more bottles of fine wine.
Observation: The Chaos should be amplified.
9. Stir clockwise with Debate, then draw the sign of cross with WTF [2] while singing “Bohemian Rhapsody”.
10. Smash 1 accident into the mix (hard enough to mix the angel into the nun)
Note: At this stage, you should have two items in your Fell's bookshop basement: 1 demon and 1 angel/nun mix, bathed in a gentle bouillon of alcohol vapor, drunkenness and incomprehensibility. Now comes the hard part.
11. Dip the demon in evilness and insert 1/3 of the now evil demon into the angel/nun mix, just enough to produce Sin.
12. Wait for an hour, the basement should soon gain a rich fragrance of Sin.
Did you know… Sin is produced when one or more vows, taken sometime during the being’s existence or simply there since the beginning, is or are broken. In this case, the basic vow of orthodox catholic sisterhood, known as Vow of Chastity, is one of the two vows in question. The other broken vow is Thy-Shall-Not-Associate-With-Thine-Enemy, by the angel.
13. Now add 2 bottles of rum.
14. Add another 1/3 of the demon and let rest for another hour.
Note: Demon and angel must stay separate at this stage.
15. Simmer for 10 minutes on small fire.
16. Shake the whole in Drunken Stupor. Never mix angel and demon too fast; do it slowly, with vast quantities of Violence.
Tip: Keep the Violence pleasant for a creamier texture.
17. Now cover the mélange with Censor and wait till it calms down.
Observation: The mélange should be making quite a bit of noise right now. Do not panic, it should calm down eventually. The richest Sin will be produced at this stage.
18. Separate angel and nun with Miracle.
19. Remove nun with Death forty years later, when she is crisp enough.
20. Pour the rest of contents on Bed and enjoy.
Recipe © Lucifer Morningstar, his son and his friend Upstairs
P.S.: Make sure that the angel and demon cannot see you doing this.
------------------ Comment Box ------------------
Comment #1:
The Death of the Woman Who Was Once a Sister
The woman smiles faintly, deforming further her face of thousand folds. She rests herself in a wooden chair, her snow white hair sitting on her forehead like the crown of a queen. Death greets her as would a knight, and the White Queen gives him her hand, silently accepts to be taken away from this plane of existence. Her image remains in the throne till dawn, when the family would dress her like a maiden, wash her by fire and keep her in a tiny black box.
Comment #2:
What happened to the angel and the demon?
Reply to comment #2:
The Ineffable Relationship
The angel closes his book. The door rings. The demon enters, once again, without permission. He closes the door, turns the sign to CLOSED and guides the angel to the basement where the madness happened forty years ago. The angel takes out his best wines, gestures the demon to sit, and they start doing the same thing they did forty years ago, except that this time, no nun is involved. Although a mailman who has just lost his job might.
Comment #3:
First, I don’t remember being part of this. Second, don’t you have other things to do? No wonder nobody ever wins. Third, both sides should just stop messing around in this world. Last but not least, Dog looks lonely. Can it get a friend?
COMMENT #4:
WHY AM I NOT CREDITED IN THE COPYRIGHT DESPITE HAVING A ROLE IN THE MAKING? I DEMAND COMPENSATION. A PAID HOLIDAY WOULD BE NICE.
Reply to COMMENT #4:
A paid holiday to do what? Feeding ducks and petting cats?
REPLY TO REPLY:
TO CHANGE IDEAS.
Comment #5:
Was my comment invisible? Shall I post it again?
Reply to comment #5:
Actually, some peo- I mean beings prefer not to remind themselves of something that happened few years ago. I’m sure that they’ve read your message; they just pretend that they didn’t. If you want a dog, we can go get one tomorrow. As for the rest, let’s wait.
Reply to reply:
Thanks for answering, it wasn’t really important anyway. Where should we meet for the dog?
P.S.: Do we have to stay anonymous?
Reply to reply:
I’ll drive by yours tomorrow morning around 9 o’clock.
Yes, we have to stay anonymous unless someone has masochist tendencies. Post your name and you’ll surely be damned. I don’t think this will ever happen to you because of who you are, but we… I’ll shut up before my name gets written on more bad books.
[1] The Ineffable
[2] WTF: Known to WWII veterans and Mariners as “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot”