these backs are made for stabbing
you've taken to the idea of being a writer, at least as a hobby. this explains why you've decided to write this entry in second person, as practice, since it is your favourite voice when writing. it may be very confusing at first, but it also makes you sound less self-centred since you're not technically using the words "I" and "me" etc.
so to briefly summarise your current state of mind. it is very cold, and you should really be taking a shower soon and getting started on your homework. instead you're procrastinating, typing this up, sounding like someone who has lost their mind. and after you finish this entry you will probably write a few words in an old, tattered exercise book which you have been using as a record for some events that have occurred in life. then after that you will write some honest thoughts in your newer diary, with its lock and new, clean pages.
over the weekend you realised that besides the basic human instinct to survive, you can not think of a reason to live. you decided not to think too much about it... but you ended up talking to one of your best friends, Zen, in maths today. she also concurred that she had spent much time pondering the meaning of life, and then decided not to think too much, as it also depressed her. she gave you these wise words: "Everyone is bound to die eventually... so the way i see it is, because of that, you should do whatever the hell you want to." to which you replied that you wish you could do whatever you wanted, but as the fact stands, some of the things you want, society disapproves of. in fact, at some stage it may have been illegal. "well maybe not everything you want then..." she said with an odd smile
you spent quite some time today listening to rather angst-ridden music on your IPod, which is a constant source of amusement for many of the technically inclined in your classes such as Penguin, Paris' Toy, Victim, Chibi-Chan etc. the Ipod, not the music.
yesterday in biology while the class performed a practical involving the use of raw liver, you sat outside, because you couldn't stomach the prospect of sitting watching your friends act manic and frenzied (in a happy way) while all you wanted to do very little at all. so you spent most of the double sitting outside listening to the cacophony within and to Penguin's idle banter. Surprisingly, he has managed to talk to the majority of the people in this grade, unlike you. you, although mostly extroverted to the point of extremely insane, are afraid to talk to people outside of your... circle would be the best word to describe it.
well your father is now home, and will probably compel you to get on with your work. due to his unfortunate lack of computer knowledge, he does not know how to clear the internet browser history. bad luck for him that is, but more ammunition for you to use as black mail you suppose. and in a cruel way, you know you are very capable of black mailing your own parents, especially as you seek to detach yourself from them emotionally from time to time to ease the stress placed on yourself.
the irony lies here: the majority of compliments you were given on motivation day included the word nice. the truth is you are anything but; blunt, cold, judgmental, neglecting, now traitorous rather than loyal, now weak rather than strong.
so to briefly summarise your current state of mind. it is very cold, and you should really be taking a shower soon and getting started on your homework. instead you're procrastinating, typing this up, sounding like someone who has lost their mind. and after you finish this entry you will probably write a few words in an old, tattered exercise book which you have been using as a record for some events that have occurred in life. then after that you will write some honest thoughts in your newer diary, with its lock and new, clean pages.
over the weekend you realised that besides the basic human instinct to survive, you can not think of a reason to live. you decided not to think too much about it... but you ended up talking to one of your best friends, Zen, in maths today. she also concurred that she had spent much time pondering the meaning of life, and then decided not to think too much, as it also depressed her. she gave you these wise words: "Everyone is bound to die eventually... so the way i see it is, because of that, you should do whatever the hell you want to." to which you replied that you wish you could do whatever you wanted, but as the fact stands, some of the things you want, society disapproves of. in fact, at some stage it may have been illegal. "well maybe not everything you want then..." she said with an odd smile
you spent quite some time today listening to rather angst-ridden music on your IPod, which is a constant source of amusement for many of the technically inclined in your classes such as Penguin, Paris' Toy, Victim, Chibi-Chan etc. the Ipod, not the music.
yesterday in biology while the class performed a practical involving the use of raw liver, you sat outside, because you couldn't stomach the prospect of sitting watching your friends act manic and frenzied (in a happy way) while all you wanted to do very little at all. so you spent most of the double sitting outside listening to the cacophony within and to Penguin's idle banter. Surprisingly, he has managed to talk to the majority of the people in this grade, unlike you. you, although mostly extroverted to the point of extremely insane, are afraid to talk to people outside of your... circle would be the best word to describe it.
well your father is now home, and will probably compel you to get on with your work. due to his unfortunate lack of computer knowledge, he does not know how to clear the internet browser history. bad luck for him that is, but more ammunition for you to use as black mail you suppose. and in a cruel way, you know you are very capable of black mailing your own parents, especially as you seek to detach yourself from them emotionally from time to time to ease the stress placed on yourself.
the irony lies here: the majority of compliments you were given on motivation day included the word nice. the truth is you are anything but; blunt, cold, judgmental, neglecting, now traitorous rather than loyal, now weak rather than strong.