Thinking cap... Ramblings...
Re-evaluation:
My major skills:
Drawing
Singing
Animation
Animated Voice Talent
Sales
Knowledge of a variety of subjects
My major interests:
Comics
Animation
Science
And a variety of other subjects like history and philosophy
puppets
Some of my major past work experience:
Comic Book Artist
Children's Entertainer
TV Personality
Special Effects
Puppetry
Storyboarding
Mascot Character
Sales and Retail
Art themed:
Drawing -skill
Animation -skill
Comics -interest
Animation -interest
Comic Book Artist -job
Storyboarding -job
Entertainment themed:
Animation -skill
Animation voice talent -skill
Singing -skill
Animation -interest
Puppets: -interest
Children's Entertainment -job
TV Personality -job
Storyboading -job
Puppeteer -job
Mascot Character -job
Special Effects -job
Misc themed:
Sales -skill
Knowledge -skill
Science -interest
other subjects -interest
Sales and Retail -job
Now, this isn't including every job I've ever had of course, but just the major ones. I've also combined a LOT of similar jobs into clumped groups. Like "Special Effects" counts for learning how to make it look like you can tear arms off of people all the way to adding explosions in After Effects (one of my first jobs at O Entertainment). According to this list of my major work, I'm leaning towards entertainment.
I've been on the phone and talking to people all evening. I've also been talking to people over the past few days... Trying to find focus and direction in my life.
One friend suggested I go into sales and work on the art thing on the side. He said I would probably be pretty good at it. Save for the fact that I have morality, hate most people, hate consumerism, and would probably want to strangle myself after only a few weeks. It's kind of hard to get away from one's hatred on the act of your job. To sell item A to person B. I know it's essential to business, life, finance, etc. etc. etc. I just don't like it. All my life I've been selling for other people and have had little success in selling myself. However, it is a thought.
Another friend suggest I get a corporate job in a cubicle and work art on the side. It's not that this doesn't have appeal for me to turn off my brain for 8 hours... I just don't know if I can.
All week I've been hearing from separate sources that I A) Need to Focus, B) That I'm "bizarrely talented" and that tends to scare people, C) That I'm full of too many ideas sometimes so folks might tend to tune me out, and D) That I should quit.
Quitting is not an option. Not for me. I'm not going to quit anything, just refocus.
I'm enjoying animation...I love the medium of comics. I don't feel like I identify with webcomics anymore. Not as a structure, not as an industry (dinky though it is). Most are either really badly drawn or written or about games it feels like. And, mind you, I'm a supporter. This is just an observation. Comics about games, fine, it works. ZILLIONS of comics about games gets a little daunting. The industry... Eh... I have issues with a lot of publishing. There's a lot of shady dealings that go on behind the scenes in almost every office of every company in every aspect of publishing. Kick backs and neppetism, people hiring their friends or "a name" or their coke dealer. Considering comics were originally printed to launder the money of gangsters, I should not have been surprised by the dishonest air behind the scenes of the industry. It's the same way in large book publishing. It's sad but true. When you start to get into the numbers of how many books printed versus how many books sold in order to get a "best selling book," (the unsold mounds being pulped to make room for more books to pulp to make room for even more books to pulp) and the dealing of politics you have to weave through just to get a good review... It's daunting.
The publishing industry scares me. I've been a little darting fish in and out of that large sea-of-a-pond for a few years now, but never before with anything like good visibility. I must have been looking at the pond-bottom with glazed over eyes or in the middle of the night or something. Now that I'm really starting to look at it in the light of day, the sea just expands outward into a big wall of black. I have no idea what's out there, staring. I've just heard stories, read books, started to learn the ropes of survival in the sea-pond only to find, I probably couldn't. I would feel bad doing the things people do to succeed win publishing. For example, and no names so I don't get in trouble with anyone (though if you really wanted to, you can figure it out from the clues here), but I've learned of a couple of children's book writers who farm out the work to college kids for low wages only to slap their name on it and rake in the licensing money. That's...evil. Immoral. And wrong.
And yet these folks are considered visionaries. They get more and more work all the time and have even had shows of their "work" on TV and on ice. Have you had a show on ice? Now if that isn't "making it" I don't know what is. But their big comfy lifestyle with shows on ice is built on exploiting talented college writers to do all of the hard work in exchange for a low rate and maybe a recommendation by these folks later on. These are not writers I've worked with, but I've heard this same rumor from several reliable sources I have worked with who all seem to be telling the same thing without talking to each other.
Two of these sources were salivating at the "vision" and "success of the formula" when they told me. One of them even said "Why didn't I think of that?"
I was disgusted.
I'm sure this kind of thing happens in TV all of the time too... but it seems to be a little sneakier in publishing. And much easier to hide. Since TV and Film move so quickly (and so slowly depending on what show and who you're talking to) when someone's work is inconsistent, it's much easier to spot. In publishing, there's so much time between projects, and so many projects on their desk, it's easier for an editor to "forget your voice." In TV, not so much.
I think I want to shift my focus to television.
I'll still do comics, just not as my focus. I've had more success than most people my age, much less most my age who want to get into comics. I'm still going to finish my degree in comics, but I think I want to focus on Children's Television. Or Children's Television directed at adults (like Wonder Showzen or PeeWee Herman's stand up before PeeWee's Playhouse).
I have some ideas for formats but nothing I'll mention here. Idea theifs and all that. Not you guys, you know, the folks who read your LJ and find my LJ and then steal my ideas. Them! I wouldn't accuse you >.> <.<
But I'm still playing it safe...
I don't know...Just meandering thoughts in the darkness of insanity.
-glych
My major skills:
Drawing
Singing
Animation
Animated Voice Talent
Sales
Knowledge of a variety of subjects
My major interests:
Comics
Animation
Science
And a variety of other subjects like history and philosophy
puppets
Some of my major past work experience:
Comic Book Artist
Children's Entertainer
TV Personality
Special Effects
Puppetry
Storyboarding
Mascot Character
Sales and Retail
Art themed:
Drawing -skill
Animation -skill
Comics -interest
Animation -interest
Comic Book Artist -job
Storyboarding -job
Entertainment themed:
Animation -skill
Animation voice talent -skill
Singing -skill
Animation -interest
Puppets: -interest
Children's Entertainment -job
TV Personality -job
Storyboading -job
Puppeteer -job
Mascot Character -job
Special Effects -job
Misc themed:
Sales -skill
Knowledge -skill
Science -interest
other subjects -interest
Sales and Retail -job
Now, this isn't including every job I've ever had of course, but just the major ones. I've also combined a LOT of similar jobs into clumped groups. Like "Special Effects" counts for learning how to make it look like you can tear arms off of people all the way to adding explosions in After Effects (one of my first jobs at O Entertainment). According to this list of my major work, I'm leaning towards entertainment.
I've been on the phone and talking to people all evening. I've also been talking to people over the past few days... Trying to find focus and direction in my life.
One friend suggested I go into sales and work on the art thing on the side. He said I would probably be pretty good at it. Save for the fact that I have morality, hate most people, hate consumerism, and would probably want to strangle myself after only a few weeks. It's kind of hard to get away from one's hatred on the act of your job. To sell item A to person B. I know it's essential to business, life, finance, etc. etc. etc. I just don't like it. All my life I've been selling for other people and have had little success in selling myself. However, it is a thought.
Another friend suggest I get a corporate job in a cubicle and work art on the side. It's not that this doesn't have appeal for me to turn off my brain for 8 hours... I just don't know if I can.
All week I've been hearing from separate sources that I A) Need to Focus, B) That I'm "bizarrely talented" and that tends to scare people, C) That I'm full of too many ideas sometimes so folks might tend to tune me out, and D) That I should quit.
Quitting is not an option. Not for me. I'm not going to quit anything, just refocus.
I'm enjoying animation...I love the medium of comics. I don't feel like I identify with webcomics anymore. Not as a structure, not as an industry (dinky though it is). Most are either really badly drawn or written or about games it feels like. And, mind you, I'm a supporter. This is just an observation. Comics about games, fine, it works. ZILLIONS of comics about games gets a little daunting. The industry... Eh... I have issues with a lot of publishing. There's a lot of shady dealings that go on behind the scenes in almost every office of every company in every aspect of publishing. Kick backs and neppetism, people hiring their friends or "a name" or their coke dealer. Considering comics were originally printed to launder the money of gangsters, I should not have been surprised by the dishonest air behind the scenes of the industry. It's the same way in large book publishing. It's sad but true. When you start to get into the numbers of how many books printed versus how many books sold in order to get a "best selling book," (the unsold mounds being pulped to make room for more books to pulp to make room for even more books to pulp) and the dealing of politics you have to weave through just to get a good review... It's daunting.
The publishing industry scares me. I've been a little darting fish in and out of that large sea-of-a-pond for a few years now, but never before with anything like good visibility. I must have been looking at the pond-bottom with glazed over eyes or in the middle of the night or something. Now that I'm really starting to look at it in the light of day, the sea just expands outward into a big wall of black. I have no idea what's out there, staring. I've just heard stories, read books, started to learn the ropes of survival in the sea-pond only to find, I probably couldn't. I would feel bad doing the things people do to succeed win publishing. For example, and no names so I don't get in trouble with anyone (though if you really wanted to, you can figure it out from the clues here), but I've learned of a couple of children's book writers who farm out the work to college kids for low wages only to slap their name on it and rake in the licensing money. That's...evil. Immoral. And wrong.
And yet these folks are considered visionaries. They get more and more work all the time and have even had shows of their "work" on TV and on ice. Have you had a show on ice? Now if that isn't "making it" I don't know what is. But their big comfy lifestyle with shows on ice is built on exploiting talented college writers to do all of the hard work in exchange for a low rate and maybe a recommendation by these folks later on. These are not writers I've worked with, but I've heard this same rumor from several reliable sources I have worked with who all seem to be telling the same thing without talking to each other.
Two of these sources were salivating at the "vision" and "success of the formula" when they told me. One of them even said "Why didn't I think of that?"
I was disgusted.
I'm sure this kind of thing happens in TV all of the time too... but it seems to be a little sneakier in publishing. And much easier to hide. Since TV and Film move so quickly (and so slowly depending on what show and who you're talking to) when someone's work is inconsistent, it's much easier to spot. In publishing, there's so much time between projects, and so many projects on their desk, it's easier for an editor to "forget your voice." In TV, not so much.
I think I want to shift my focus to television.
I'll still do comics, just not as my focus. I've had more success than most people my age, much less most my age who want to get into comics. I'm still going to finish my degree in comics, but I think I want to focus on Children's Television. Or Children's Television directed at adults (like Wonder Showzen or PeeWee Herman's stand up before PeeWee's Playhouse).
I have some ideas for formats but nothing I'll mention here. Idea theifs and all that. Not you guys, you know, the folks who read your LJ and find my LJ and then steal my ideas. Them! I wouldn't accuse you >.> <.<
But I'm still playing it safe...
I don't know...Just meandering thoughts in the darkness of insanity.
-glych