(no subject)
i just dont know how much more terrible this week could be.
tomorrow. (3/26) is the one year anniversary of brian and my
miscarraige. wow. i dont really know what to say about that.
it hurts. i told my mom and she said that i need to think of it like this:
"you will be able to have more babies later on,
and maybe this baby wasnt healthy, they were probably
really sick. and if they were to have come into this world
they might have had some very serious problems. and you wouldnt
want that. he or she is in a far better place"
my heart just aches.
i dont even want to think of what wednesday will be.
seeing brian. mourning our baby.
it just stirs up every hurt feeling
and every thought ive had about it.
i still feel responsible.
for not taking care of myself like i should have.
for smoking pot. for drinking.
for not realizing something was different.
i crushed a life that never even began to live.
i ruined a life.
it is my fault.
and im so so sorry baby.
rip my smallest angel.
tomorrow. (3/26) is the one year anniversary of brian and my
miscarraige. wow. i dont really know what to say about that.
it hurts. i told my mom and she said that i need to think of it like this:
"you will be able to have more babies later on,
and maybe this baby wasnt healthy, they were probably
really sick. and if they were to have come into this world
they might have had some very serious problems. and you wouldnt
want that. he or she is in a far better place"
my heart just aches.
i dont even want to think of what wednesday will be.
seeing brian. mourning our baby.
it just stirs up every hurt feeling
and every thought ive had about it.
i still feel responsible.
for not taking care of myself like i should have.
for smoking pot. for drinking.
for not realizing something was different.
i crushed a life that never even began to live.
i ruined a life.
it is my fault.
and im so so sorry baby.
rip my smallest angel.