(no subject)
You know, I don't get it at all.
And I have my bad days, so there is no reason to point blame or criticize anyone on my part. However, I just cannot stand walking into the office with everyone in such a grouchy mood. I know I was pissy on Friday, but I at least made the effort to be chatty and pretend. To me, when someone acts miserable to your face all day they are being selfish and self-righteous. It's as if they are the most important person in the world, and even the sunshine couldn't shed some light on their darkness. They are miserable, and they want everyone to be miserable with them. And yes, this is all partially because I am giddy happy thanks to Dan. But still...
It's just so weird thinking about how we met because my first reaction was: "This guy is a complete asshole." Although I would never tell him that. It was a party, and everyone was dressed well, and he was perched in one spot on the balcony railing all night in a swimsuit and polo. They had just gotten back from a boat trip. He looked straight from the OC. And he had this sly smile, and I completely ignored him with no intentions whatsoever. But I was also kinda envious thinking about what a great life this guy must have being so beautiful and all, but also that I wouldn't give him the time of day because I hate overly arrogant people. Then I somehow got talking to one of his friends, who was way drunk. And eventually became swarmed by him and about 6 of his friends. I was just throwing back what they dished out, trying to be playful, keep my guard up. He said, "So what's your story?" Which I told him, and he kept asking me about myself. I told him he had great hair, yadda, yadda, yadda. And I moved on to some other guys, and then Tobin said they were leaving, so I left. When Lindsay said, "Hey do you remember anyone from my party?" I thought she was talking about her sleezy roommate who kept trying to get me drunk. But then she said, "Do you remember Dan? He wants to know if he can have your number."
The rest is kind of history, although before and even on our official first hang-out and preceding date, I kept thinking, "I bet this guy is just playing me." But who am I to pass up a date? Anyway, I am still amazed by him everytime. Although last night he was a little distant but he never failed to show he cared. But I think it's also because I was being quiet for the first time and that made him nervous. I guess I just keep waiting for him to realize he's not that interested. I know this line of thinking is dangerous. I know that I should never let my anxiety get in the wat, though it does. I'll have to work on that. Anyway, these guys (his group of friends) are so wonderful. They are the type that just adopts you. They make you feel beautiful and lots of hugs and kisses. I LOVE it. I don't ever want to leave them. I love that they aren't caucasian. They make me want to be a beautiful Cuban or Hispanic or Egyptian. I feel so plain and white.
This weekend we celebrated Aziz's birthweek. Beautiful people, exciting places, yummy drinks and good times all around, all weekend. This is all making me think: "Work? Who needs to work in this life when I could do this forever?" Dan is cooking me dinner on Wednesday. We are going to an OAR concert on Saturday and maybe New York next weekend. And I am waaay too involved right now. I know it's dangerous when I think about how I would react if things went bad, and I would be devastated. And I can't stop thinking about him. WAY dangerous. If something is going to go wrong, please Lord, just give me a heads up at least. Then I'll go down without a fight.
Sheesh.
And I have my bad days, so there is no reason to point blame or criticize anyone on my part. However, I just cannot stand walking into the office with everyone in such a grouchy mood. I know I was pissy on Friday, but I at least made the effort to be chatty and pretend. To me, when someone acts miserable to your face all day they are being selfish and self-righteous. It's as if they are the most important person in the world, and even the sunshine couldn't shed some light on their darkness. They are miserable, and they want everyone to be miserable with them. And yes, this is all partially because I am giddy happy thanks to Dan. But still...
It's just so weird thinking about how we met because my first reaction was: "This guy is a complete asshole." Although I would never tell him that. It was a party, and everyone was dressed well, and he was perched in one spot on the balcony railing all night in a swimsuit and polo. They had just gotten back from a boat trip. He looked straight from the OC. And he had this sly smile, and I completely ignored him with no intentions whatsoever. But I was also kinda envious thinking about what a great life this guy must have being so beautiful and all, but also that I wouldn't give him the time of day because I hate overly arrogant people. Then I somehow got talking to one of his friends, who was way drunk. And eventually became swarmed by him and about 6 of his friends. I was just throwing back what they dished out, trying to be playful, keep my guard up. He said, "So what's your story?" Which I told him, and he kept asking me about myself. I told him he had great hair, yadda, yadda, yadda. And I moved on to some other guys, and then Tobin said they were leaving, so I left. When Lindsay said, "Hey do you remember anyone from my party?" I thought she was talking about her sleezy roommate who kept trying to get me drunk. But then she said, "Do you remember Dan? He wants to know if he can have your number."
The rest is kind of history, although before and even on our official first hang-out and preceding date, I kept thinking, "I bet this guy is just playing me." But who am I to pass up a date? Anyway, I am still amazed by him everytime. Although last night he was a little distant but he never failed to show he cared. But I think it's also because I was being quiet for the first time and that made him nervous. I guess I just keep waiting for him to realize he's not that interested. I know this line of thinking is dangerous. I know that I should never let my anxiety get in the wat, though it does. I'll have to work on that. Anyway, these guys (his group of friends) are so wonderful. They are the type that just adopts you. They make you feel beautiful and lots of hugs and kisses. I LOVE it. I don't ever want to leave them. I love that they aren't caucasian. They make me want to be a beautiful Cuban or Hispanic or Egyptian. I feel so plain and white.
This weekend we celebrated Aziz's birthweek. Beautiful people, exciting places, yummy drinks and good times all around, all weekend. This is all making me think: "Work? Who needs to work in this life when I could do this forever?" Dan is cooking me dinner on Wednesday. We are going to an OAR concert on Saturday and maybe New York next weekend. And I am waaay too involved right now. I know it's dangerous when I think about how I would react if things went bad, and I would be devastated. And I can't stop thinking about him. WAY dangerous. If something is going to go wrong, please Lord, just give me a heads up at least. Then I'll go down without a fight.
Sheesh.