Eeep!
Ok, so the last time I posted was... several months ago. So many that I have had to open another tab just to figure out what I had last shared and where I should start re-sharing. X_x I'm a lame-o, I know. No excuses, I'm just... I guess I've been quite BLAH for quite some time. But I've been around, commenting and such, but if anyone isn't interested in me anymore, I understand :)
ok... Last time I mentioned changes and one of them was that I tried to go back to school. I applied and was accepted to a technical school and was going to be trained as an electician... but the banks wouldn't give me the loan. I got half of the tuition covered by federal loans and had to get the rest on my own and no bank trusted me repay them. The only way would be to have a co-signer, but I have none because my father won't and he can't anyway because money is not plentiful and everyone else in my family is in the same boat. SO! that has really bugged me for the past few months... It was really big for me to get off my ass and try for something without any prodding or advice from anyone else and to fail was just... it HURTS. I know it's not my "fault" - but it is because I can't get a job that gives me enough money to go back to school... which is really ironic because we see all the time that it you're not making enough money, the solution is: DUN DUN DUN, go back to school! BUT I CAN"T GET THE MONEY FOR SCHOOL, SO HOW CAN I BETTER MYSELF BY GOING BACK TO SCHOOL?????? IT'S A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF DOOM GUYS, I TELL YOU, IN CAPSLOCK.
*sigh*
yeah. then the home improvement job ended, which is fine, apparently you have to be an incompantent doofus to be accepted at a place like that so whatever... I liked the actual work, but it was such a depressing place. Everyone was disgruntled (there was even one guy who called himself 'the disgruntled guy' (he was actually quite nice, I enjoyed working with him, he had a brain unlike many of the others) and being surrounded by that kind of attitude gets you down fast, real fast man. :/
still working my clothing job, it's picked up a little and will continue to as Christmas apporaches (OH GOD CHIRSTMAS ALREADY AHHHHHHH) and tomorrow and Sunday I'm going to a store that opens next week to help... set up? fold clothes? I'll find out in the morning. But they were going to send me up to Boston to help another store and I was pleased 'cause I was going to hang out with my cousin, WHO'S PREGNANT!!!!!!!! YAYZZZ!!!!, but! they weren't going to re-pay me for gas spent on traveling very far away to the city so it got scratched. :/
My brother graduated!!!! and got a real job!!!! I am SO proud of him that I really can't express it, but at the same time it didn't help my self doubt about myself -> little bro graduates and has a real job with a salery and benefits within a month and I can't accomplish jack shit...
and this is probably why I haven't really posted, I don't want to be a massive complaining tool, but damn, I'm hard on myself and this is where I get this stuff out of my head... ahhh, I'm rambling.
I took my little cousin's on a bike ride back in May, we had a great time and met up with the family I used to baby-sit for for ice cream afterwards (haven't seen the old sitting charges since) and a couple of weeks ago I took them to an amusement park and we had a blast. They're already looking forward to the ski season ^_^
House/critter sat for friends twice this summer and I've picked up two more pet families through my Dad and his girlfriend - one set is friends of theirs and then those firends neighbors. The first family has two Burmese Moutain dogs, one older, one puppy and the other has a GoldenDoodle (which looks like a tall Poodle... and likes to fetch? idk, I don't get breeding stuff) Just starting out with these folks, but not going to pass up making some cash~
REALLY missed camp and did not miss it at all. Never got out there and really didn't care. I could see myself going back in a future, but maybe only if I have a kid of my own... PIPE DREAMS COME TRUE, RIGHT GUYS??? *sob*sob*sob*
I'm helping out my cousin with our cousin's baby shower next month!!! I REALLY want to make the cake because nerdish has a really awesome baking project and I want one too~ plus I like baking and stuff always tastes good~
wrote a little something, but have yet to cleaned up the very end. I know what to do, just haven't done it STORY OF MY LIFE
and vDex eats my life. everyday.
ok... Last time I mentioned changes and one of them was that I tried to go back to school. I applied and was accepted to a technical school and was going to be trained as an electician... but the banks wouldn't give me the loan. I got half of the tuition covered by federal loans and had to get the rest on my own and no bank trusted me repay them. The only way would be to have a co-signer, but I have none because my father won't and he can't anyway because money is not plentiful and everyone else in my family is in the same boat. SO! that has really bugged me for the past few months... It was really big for me to get off my ass and try for something without any prodding or advice from anyone else and to fail was just... it HURTS. I know it's not my "fault" - but it is because I can't get a job that gives me enough money to go back to school... which is really ironic because we see all the time that it you're not making enough money, the solution is: DUN DUN DUN, go back to school! BUT I CAN"T GET THE MONEY FOR SCHOOL, SO HOW CAN I BETTER MYSELF BY GOING BACK TO SCHOOL?????? IT'S A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF DOOM GUYS, I TELL YOU, IN CAPSLOCK.
*sigh*
yeah. then the home improvement job ended, which is fine, apparently you have to be an incompantent doofus to be accepted at a place like that so whatever... I liked the actual work, but it was such a depressing place. Everyone was disgruntled (there was even one guy who called himself 'the disgruntled guy' (he was actually quite nice, I enjoyed working with him, he had a brain unlike many of the others) and being surrounded by that kind of attitude gets you down fast, real fast man. :/
still working my clothing job, it's picked up a little and will continue to as Christmas apporaches (OH GOD CHIRSTMAS ALREADY AHHHHHHH) and tomorrow and Sunday I'm going to a store that opens next week to help... set up? fold clothes? I'll find out in the morning. But they were going to send me up to Boston to help another store and I was pleased 'cause I was going to hang out with my cousin, WHO'S PREGNANT!!!!!!!! YAYZZZ!!!!, but! they weren't going to re-pay me for gas spent on traveling very far away to the city so it got scratched. :/
My brother graduated!!!! and got a real job!!!! I am SO proud of him that I really can't express it, but at the same time it didn't help my self doubt about myself -> little bro graduates and has a real job with a salery and benefits within a month and I can't accomplish jack shit...
and this is probably why I haven't really posted, I don't want to be a massive complaining tool, but damn, I'm hard on myself and this is where I get this stuff out of my head... ahhh, I'm rambling.
I took my little cousin's on a bike ride back in May, we had a great time and met up with the family I used to baby-sit for for ice cream afterwards (haven't seen the old sitting charges since) and a couple of weeks ago I took them to an amusement park and we had a blast. They're already looking forward to the ski season ^_^
House/critter sat for friends twice this summer and I've picked up two more pet families through my Dad and his girlfriend - one set is friends of theirs and then those firends neighbors. The first family has two Burmese Moutain dogs, one older, one puppy and the other has a GoldenDoodle (which looks like a tall Poodle... and likes to fetch? idk, I don't get breeding stuff) Just starting out with these folks, but not going to pass up making some cash~
REALLY missed camp and did not miss it at all. Never got out there and really didn't care. I could see myself going back in a future, but maybe only if I have a kid of my own... PIPE DREAMS COME TRUE, RIGHT GUYS??? *sob*sob*sob*
I'm helping out my cousin with our cousin's baby shower next month!!! I REALLY want to make the cake because nerdish has a really awesome baking project and I want one too~ plus I like baking and stuff always tastes good~
wrote a little something, but have yet to cleaned up the very end. I know what to do, just haven't done it STORY OF MY LIFE
and vDex eats my life. everyday.