(no subject)
Monday's Entry:
"Spring Forward"...I hate you, You're stupid and, nowadays, baseless. I'm so tired, I feel like being a child and crying. The thing is, I took it VERY EASY yesterday afternoon. I got to the gym early (930ish), went on a few errand runs with Rick and was back at the apartment by 2pm. I ate a late lunch and read in bed for most of the afternoon. After dinner, I continued reading Lovecraft's short stories and made the bold choice of beginning a new one knowing very well that I will not be able to finish it until after 11p (and I find the language and overall story telling addictive, therefore couldn't just stop mid-story). So I ended up going to sleep closer to 12am, which is quite late in my world. I'm more of a 10/1030 kinda person. Work nights are very routine for me. I need to account for the fact that I get up multiple times during the night to use the bathroom (thank you, bladder) and because I have broken sleep problems (I've tried sleeping aids and all-natural ones, but to no avail). So that loss of a fake man-made hour, plus the 6.5 hours of broken sleep I got last night has lead to this morning of on and off vertigo, hot flashes, nausea and a dull headache. Basically, I feel hungover. Am I that breakable??? 6.5 hours of sleep, regardless of the intermittent bathroom breaks, is not too shabby! Yet I'm suffering. Ho-hum, right?
Yesterday I ran 5 miles at the gym (~43 min) and did 10 really tough minutes on the arc trainer to end my workout with a racing heartbeat. My legs are whimpering today. The small muscles in my thighs that I don't really use on the arc trainer are making it tough to climb the stairs. And my calves. Dear Lord. Also. When I was on the arc trainer, this woman got on the machine next to mine. A minute into her workout, she begins sweating and I get overwhelmed with powder deodorant scent (a little FYI - the smell of powder is very unappealing to me, but in smaller doses is no big deal...this was not the case here). After another minute, she gets on her phone and starts jibber-jabbin' to her boo about whatever and her breath was demonic. It was not morning breath. Oh no. Much worse. It came from something deep down inside her gut where her flora was just not actin' right. And it bubbled on up with each exclamation made into her phone, followed by the heavy inhalation/exhalation of someone who is carrying on a conversation while attempting to exercise. I meant to be on the arc trainer for 15 minutes, but could only last 10. The gaseous stench of her flora and the powder deodorant were just too much for my senses, I felt sick.
Today's Entry:
To continue shameless complaining about yesterday's fatigue ordeal, I didn't get to the Campbell's gym until after 5. I was supposed to drive to my parents' house to pick up my book for the book club (that I need to read by Saturday SOMEHOW, despite dodgeball tonight and visiting Mirabelle and seeing my friend's band play on Friday night), but I just couldn't find the energy to make a 40 minute drive there and another 40 minute drive back. Before I went to the gym, I felt dizzy and sick. I'm surprised I even pushed myself to go! Once I stepped out of the fluorescence of my office area and into the warm afternoon, I was invigorated, walked into the gym and ran five miles on the treadmill. Downside: my calves are out of commission. I couldn't even stretch upward on my toes. The muscles atrophied and cried. I limped to my vehicle, limped into Wawa, limped up the stairs to my apartment and limped around before going to bed to read at 830. Today I put on flats, because I really can't imagine being able to wear any type of heal. I have to somehow be able to play dogdeball tonight. And I can't bail, because it's our last game of the season! I predict having to sit out toward the end. I mean, I can barely climb the stairs. Not smart to return to running and do about 10 miles in two days! Not smart at all.
Yesterday my good friend, Emma, wrote me a long email filled with caring words of encouragement and love and Kira fan-dom and support. She wove each paragraph together with such elegance and heart, I just couldn't believe it (not because it came from her, but because she took the time to express these thoughts, selflessly). She shared her ideas on what I need in a relationship and what she sees for me as a creative, intelligent, unique individual. Just knowing that someone views me with such admiration inspires me to push forward on my wants and needs and ideals. And since it's Emma saying these things, a person who is so young but I feel is my complete intellectual and emotional equal, adds an incredible amount of validity to her words. I was floored. We have known each other for nearly 8 years and have never deviated from our friendship, regardless of how often we see each other. Which is not often enough. However, we both completely understand how discrete our lives and personal responsibilities are from each other, but also seek out and find the opportunities when we can be together again. She really is a magical person with the way she views the complexities of morals/values/human nature. Her mindset is so accepting and open, but without being illogical or vain in her ability to adapt to anything. She's not flashy with her young wisdom, nor does she try to push it on whomever's path she intercepts. It's insightful and thoughtful. Careful and kind. Emma doesn't have time for deaf ears, so she chooses her words with prudence and delivers them to those she respects the most. This makes her a very approachable person to really anyone. Because she has neither a big personality, nor small. It's just right. She reads people so well that her interactions are fluid and soft and well received. I love her and wanted to share that.
My Outlook is updating and backing all of my emails up and...it's going on two hours. Being so reliant on work email is sickening. You know what else is sickening? How the new neighbors put their trash bag on the mid-deck just out in the open for the feral cats to root through. And then Walter goes outside and finds the trash and eats it. That's sickening. I had to yell at him this morning to drop whatever the fuck he had in his mouth. It's not even his fault! He doesn't know. Stupid neighbors shouldn't be just putting a trash bag out on the deck like that. Who DOES that??? Get a container! If you and your buddy can afford to live in a 1700/month place and both have new-ish vehicles, then you can afford a damn trashcan. Makes me mad.
Anyway. I will finally post this before I whine some more about trivial things.
"Spring Forward"...I hate you, You're stupid and, nowadays, baseless. I'm so tired, I feel like being a child and crying. The thing is, I took it VERY EASY yesterday afternoon. I got to the gym early (930ish), went on a few errand runs with Rick and was back at the apartment by 2pm. I ate a late lunch and read in bed for most of the afternoon. After dinner, I continued reading Lovecraft's short stories and made the bold choice of beginning a new one knowing very well that I will not be able to finish it until after 11p (and I find the language and overall story telling addictive, therefore couldn't just stop mid-story). So I ended up going to sleep closer to 12am, which is quite late in my world. I'm more of a 10/1030 kinda person. Work nights are very routine for me. I need to account for the fact that I get up multiple times during the night to use the bathroom (thank you, bladder) and because I have broken sleep problems (I've tried sleeping aids and all-natural ones, but to no avail). So that loss of a fake man-made hour, plus the 6.5 hours of broken sleep I got last night has lead to this morning of on and off vertigo, hot flashes, nausea and a dull headache. Basically, I feel hungover. Am I that breakable??? 6.5 hours of sleep, regardless of the intermittent bathroom breaks, is not too shabby! Yet I'm suffering. Ho-hum, right?
Yesterday I ran 5 miles at the gym (~43 min) and did 10 really tough minutes on the arc trainer to end my workout with a racing heartbeat. My legs are whimpering today. The small muscles in my thighs that I don't really use on the arc trainer are making it tough to climb the stairs. And my calves. Dear Lord. Also. When I was on the arc trainer, this woman got on the machine next to mine. A minute into her workout, she begins sweating and I get overwhelmed with powder deodorant scent (a little FYI - the smell of powder is very unappealing to me, but in smaller doses is no big deal...this was not the case here). After another minute, she gets on her phone and starts jibber-jabbin' to her boo about whatever and her breath was demonic. It was not morning breath. Oh no. Much worse. It came from something deep down inside her gut where her flora was just not actin' right. And it bubbled on up with each exclamation made into her phone, followed by the heavy inhalation/exhalation of someone who is carrying on a conversation while attempting to exercise. I meant to be on the arc trainer for 15 minutes, but could only last 10. The gaseous stench of her flora and the powder deodorant were just too much for my senses, I felt sick.
Today's Entry:
To continue shameless complaining about yesterday's fatigue ordeal, I didn't get to the Campbell's gym until after 5. I was supposed to drive to my parents' house to pick up my book for the book club (that I need to read by Saturday SOMEHOW, despite dodgeball tonight and visiting Mirabelle and seeing my friend's band play on Friday night), but I just couldn't find the energy to make a 40 minute drive there and another 40 minute drive back. Before I went to the gym, I felt dizzy and sick. I'm surprised I even pushed myself to go! Once I stepped out of the fluorescence of my office area and into the warm afternoon, I was invigorated, walked into the gym and ran five miles on the treadmill. Downside: my calves are out of commission. I couldn't even stretch upward on my toes. The muscles atrophied and cried. I limped to my vehicle, limped into Wawa, limped up the stairs to my apartment and limped around before going to bed to read at 830. Today I put on flats, because I really can't imagine being able to wear any type of heal. I have to somehow be able to play dogdeball tonight. And I can't bail, because it's our last game of the season! I predict having to sit out toward the end. I mean, I can barely climb the stairs. Not smart to return to running and do about 10 miles in two days! Not smart at all.
Yesterday my good friend, Emma, wrote me a long email filled with caring words of encouragement and love and Kira fan-dom and support. She wove each paragraph together with such elegance and heart, I just couldn't believe it (not because it came from her, but because she took the time to express these thoughts, selflessly). She shared her ideas on what I need in a relationship and what she sees for me as a creative, intelligent, unique individual. Just knowing that someone views me with such admiration inspires me to push forward on my wants and needs and ideals. And since it's Emma saying these things, a person who is so young but I feel is my complete intellectual and emotional equal, adds an incredible amount of validity to her words. I was floored. We have known each other for nearly 8 years and have never deviated from our friendship, regardless of how often we see each other. Which is not often enough. However, we both completely understand how discrete our lives and personal responsibilities are from each other, but also seek out and find the opportunities when we can be together again. She really is a magical person with the way she views the complexities of morals/values/human nature. Her mindset is so accepting and open, but without being illogical or vain in her ability to adapt to anything. She's not flashy with her young wisdom, nor does she try to push it on whomever's path she intercepts. It's insightful and thoughtful. Careful and kind. Emma doesn't have time for deaf ears, so she chooses her words with prudence and delivers them to those she respects the most. This makes her a very approachable person to really anyone. Because she has neither a big personality, nor small. It's just right. She reads people so well that her interactions are fluid and soft and well received. I love her and wanted to share that.
My Outlook is updating and backing all of my emails up and...it's going on two hours. Being so reliant on work email is sickening. You know what else is sickening? How the new neighbors put their trash bag on the mid-deck just out in the open for the feral cats to root through. And then Walter goes outside and finds the trash and eats it. That's sickening. I had to yell at him this morning to drop whatever the fuck he had in his mouth. It's not even his fault! He doesn't know. Stupid neighbors shouldn't be just putting a trash bag out on the deck like that. Who DOES that??? Get a container! If you and your buddy can afford to live in a 1700/month place and both have new-ish vehicles, then you can afford a damn trashcan. Makes me mad.
Anyway. I will finally post this before I whine some more about trivial things.