(no subject)
--MARK ONLY--
I know me suddenly speaking up might seem really weird. I mean, I've been silent for a while, usual brooding Roger, right? Taking what I can get but never really pulling my own weight as a friend. Just sort of...well...turning to you when I need something. I guess this really isn't all that different. I just...have to get it out. Getting it out to you is all I can really do. So...here goes.
I love Mimi. I'm in love with her, even when I'm too chicken-shit to admit it. But...you know that. The problem is...I loved April, too. And I think...I think I might have really been in love with her. And I don't think that, just because she died, that went away. I think it just...stopped...because there wasn't an April to love anymore.
So it took time and effort, but I moved on and shit happened and then there was Mimi. There is Mimi. I fell in love again. I fought it and I was stupid, but I fell in love...again. And I almost lost it all...again. But things came together and worked out and, you know, I really started to get back to being happy.
Then...April. She says she loves me, Mark. At least that's what she said the last time I saw her, the last time I really bothered to come out of the loft. And I didn't admit it until she was asleep but...I think...I think I still love her.
So that's it. That's the real problem here. I love Mimi but I still love April and suddenly it actually matters that I still love her because there's actually an April to love again.
I don't know what to do, Mark. I've sort of been hiding since that night...and bringing her back here...and her...well...you probably no more about after that than I do. I'm just...afraid to face her again. And, to make it worse, I'm afraid to face Mimi, too. Hell, I'm afraid to face anyone at this point. I'm forcing myself to face you.
I'm lost, man. Completely. I just had to tell somebody why.
Typist: I know this won't be read for ages but...he wouldn't let me sleep until he got it out.
I know me suddenly speaking up might seem really weird. I mean, I've been silent for a while, usual brooding Roger, right? Taking what I can get but never really pulling my own weight as a friend. Just sort of...well...turning to you when I need something. I guess this really isn't all that different. I just...have to get it out. Getting it out to you is all I can really do. So...here goes.
I love Mimi. I'm in love with her, even when I'm too chicken-shit to admit it. But...you know that. The problem is...I loved April, too. And I think...I think I might have really been in love with her. And I don't think that, just because she died, that went away. I think it just...stopped...because there wasn't an April to love anymore.
So it took time and effort, but I moved on and shit happened and then there was Mimi. There is Mimi. I fell in love again. I fought it and I was stupid, but I fell in love...again. And I almost lost it all...again. But things came together and worked out and, you know, I really started to get back to being happy.
Then...April. She says she loves me, Mark. At least that's what she said the last time I saw her, the last time I really bothered to come out of the loft. And I didn't admit it until she was asleep but...I think...I think I still love her.
So that's it. That's the real problem here. I love Mimi but I still love April and suddenly it actually matters that I still love her because there's actually an April to love again.
I don't know what to do, Mark. I've sort of been hiding since that night...and bringing her back here...and her...well...you probably no more about after that than I do. I'm just...afraid to face her again. And, to make it worse, I'm afraid to face Mimi, too. Hell, I'm afraid to face anyone at this point. I'm forcing myself to face you.
I'm lost, man. Completely. I just had to tell somebody why.
Typist: I know this won't be read for ages but...he wouldn't let me sleep until he got it out.