(no subject)
so, a funny thing happened to my spouse the other day. funny like i laughed until i cried when i heard about it, but also funny like jesus fucking christ our social norms are all kinds of fucked up.
so.
the backstory on this is that he is the primary caregiver for our kids. there are a lot of reasons for this, but it essentially boils down to the fact that he is a patient and organized and nurturing human and i am an adhd disaster, and also that i have a good job that i like and he would just as soon launch his boss into the heart of the sun, so basically i work full time and he works 20-25 hours a week and does all of the daycare/school pick-up and drop-off stuff, the homework retrieval, the playdate organizing, et cetera. it’s a nice arrangement that works well for our family, but it is apparently COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE socially, as we found out the other day when the mother of one of my 5yo’s friends awkwardly asked him if he could forward their texts arranging playdates to her husband because said husband thought the two of them were maybe having an affair. entirely on the evidence that these playdates were being set up via him, the primary caregiver who regularly checks his text messages, and not via me, the aforementioned adhd disaster who (a) works full-time, including multiple evenings per week and (b) frequently forgets her phone in strange locations and doesn’t answer text messages in any case generally
because, see, i am the wife. and therefore it is My Job to deal with any and all kid-related things, and the only reason my spouse could possibly be taking an active interest in his own children is if he had some kind of ulterior motive, like having sex with the mother of one of his kid's friends in between chasing around four hyperactive children under the age of 7.
and like, it is actually pretty funny on some level, but it’s also kind of straight-up infuriating, especially since this isn’t actually the first time this kind of thing has happened with us, just the most blatant