(no subject)
well i feel like my life is in just a million and 5 pieces right now. and i'm trying to put the pieces together but they won't fit! i mean man so much is going on right now and i feel like i can't control it but i have to be the one in control. I'm at a point where i need to find me and i need to hurry up before i loose all of the sanity that i have. all of my life i have been living to please others and living so i wouldn't hur the next man's feelings but what about me> what am i doing to make me feel better and when it is all said and done and when push comes to shove i'm still left standing out in the cold. i'm tired of being lonely and i'm tired of just being felt as if i have to settle for whatever comes my way. the other day me and my mom were talking and she asked me when was goiung to start worring about myself and living for me and putting me first. ANd i told her momma i am but she said no you are not just look at you look at the things that are going on around u. do u get everything taken care of when u need to i was like no almost every question that she asked me that answer was no! and that is sad i am 25 years old about to be 26 and still haven't found my place of happiness or contentment but u know what if i don't do it soon i'm going to loose my mind. it's like i have insomnia. i can't sleep at night i slay in the bed for hours and hours just sitting there becuz my mind is in so many pieces then i wake up in the morning very eary becuz i can't sleep i can't win for loosing. man we are not going to even get on my love life that sucks right about now. i mean the last time was very bad becuz it all fell forced and the person i was with was not into it so it felt very forced. i don't know what's going on! man i want someone to love me and i want to love them back but i don't want to be stupid when it comes down to it i want to make the right choice, but like i say what God has for me it is for me! and i know this i'm just gonna hold on and give God his time right now that is what i'm going to do fall in love with Jesus and let him be my companion ok well okay i guess i've talked enough now. and i might need to go lay down and try to get some sleep but until next time be blessed!