(no subject)
hrm..so today was pretty shitty. and once again i dont feel like physically writing in my other journal so im going to do my reflections on here. (plus i type much faster then i write, a lot neater too!)
my most difficult situation today was: praying
the thoughts i had about the situation were: me me me, im too tired, im too busy, i dont know what to say, ill do it later.
at this point, i told myself this was happening b/c: ive been very selfish lately and getting too wrapped up in myself and what others think. ive been spending too much time w/ nick and not enough time working my program.
this led me to feel: clueless, worried, sad
which gave me the urge to: do nothing, mope, dwel
the very next thing i did was: say a half ass prayer (while watching tv) and do exactly what's above.
if i could change my self talk from today my new self talk would be: Jamie, you are an addict/alcoholic, if u continue to "get by" on nothing but self will you WILL NOT STAY SOBER. nothing you have done in your recovery has been due to you alone, except when you surrendered your life and will to God as you understand him. Therefore, you need to get your shit together, quit being so damn selfish, and pray your ass off if you want to live. You can charge these last few days to the game, but you need to shape the fuck up before the game gets you back.
other bits of negative self talk i told myself today were: im being taken forgranted and no one in this damn house appreciates anything i do around here.
When we retire at night we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afriad? i was resentful when my mom was being bitchy this morning while i took care of her son, and when nick didnt show up to the meeting and didnt return my call. i was pretty selfish, and very dishonest w/ myself all day. Do we owe an apology? ive already taken care of that. Have we kept something to ourselves that should be discussed w/ someone at once? no Were we kind and loving toward all? yes. What could we have done better? i could have sincerely prayed more. were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? yes. or were we thinking of what we couldt do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? no.
but we must be carefly not too drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection for that would dimmnish our usefullness to others. After reviewing our day we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference.
my most difficult situation today was: praying
the thoughts i had about the situation were: me me me, im too tired, im too busy, i dont know what to say, ill do it later.
at this point, i told myself this was happening b/c: ive been very selfish lately and getting too wrapped up in myself and what others think. ive been spending too much time w/ nick and not enough time working my program.
this led me to feel: clueless, worried, sad
which gave me the urge to: do nothing, mope, dwel
the very next thing i did was: say a half ass prayer (while watching tv) and do exactly what's above.
if i could change my self talk from today my new self talk would be: Jamie, you are an addict/alcoholic, if u continue to "get by" on nothing but self will you WILL NOT STAY SOBER. nothing you have done in your recovery has been due to you alone, except when you surrendered your life and will to God as you understand him. Therefore, you need to get your shit together, quit being so damn selfish, and pray your ass off if you want to live. You can charge these last few days to the game, but you need to shape the fuck up before the game gets you back.
other bits of negative self talk i told myself today were: im being taken forgranted and no one in this damn house appreciates anything i do around here.
When we retire at night we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afriad? i was resentful when my mom was being bitchy this morning while i took care of her son, and when nick didnt show up to the meeting and didnt return my call. i was pretty selfish, and very dishonest w/ myself all day. Do we owe an apology? ive already taken care of that. Have we kept something to ourselves that should be discussed w/ someone at once? no Were we kind and loving toward all? yes. What could we have done better? i could have sincerely prayed more. were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? yes. or were we thinking of what we couldt do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? no.
but we must be carefly not too drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection for that would dimmnish our usefullness to others. After reviewing our day we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference.