Just Protecting What's Mine
Don't step on my toes.
Lately I have been in such a foul temper, especially considering all the stress and such, but there has been one subject that has rubbed me raw from the get-go and I feel I should finally get off my chest: my territory. In one sense, I still see underlying animalistic ties in human beings, such as the way we function in 'packs,' mark our territory, basically survive. I know that we pretty much consider ourselves the ones with the higher consciousness, therefore putting us above the average pride of lions, but I can still see lingering traces of when we were all just a little less metro-sexual.
That being said, I am extremely territorial (aka jealous) when it comes to my mate and I will put it out there publicly this once: Don't step on my toes.
In the beginning of Brian's and my relationship, to say the least, my jealousy was out of control. I disliked any girl who was even around Brian, any female friends, that sort of thing, but at 17 years old, who didn't go through that childish phase? Especially with a first love! Over the years I have learned a lot of lessons and I have even gone back and apologized to some of the girls that I so hastily labeled skanks 'just cuz they lookin' at my maaaaan.' These days, Brian's picked up plenty of female friends from work or even renewed friendships from back home with ease and I'm pleased to say that I happily encourage it; plenty of these spunky gals have become good friends of mine as well! It made me feel bad that not only was I pushing them from his life, but I was cutting short chances to make good friends myself.
The lesson I have gained from my experiences though, is that I shouldn't distrust every girl around him, BUT neither must I trust each and every one of them. Believe me ladies, I know the difference between a friend and an opportunist. What is an opportunist, some of you may wonder? Well give it a moment of thought, because they're familiar in every social scene: the friendly girls that you know damn well would love to take your place in a heartbeat should the opportunity arise whether you are broken up or still together with your man. I'm no idiot. I know what you chicks look like. I know how you act. You won't push the issue, no no, but you'll be subtle about it! You're the girls who won't obviously try to be his best friend, but you'll be damn sure to check in every once in a while, keep your toe in his social pool, make sure he doesn't forget you so that his mind will wander to you should he hit a relationship rough patch. You're the girls who have no interest in speaking to me, just to him because you've 'known him longer.' You're the girls that wouldn't say no to a little kiss or whatnot from said man, whether it was right or wrong, single or taken. As long as my back is turned, right?
I have yet to meet any female friends on the east coast who have attempted this - it's only the younger girls back home whom I know have had their mad little crushes on Brian since high school that I'm keeping one eye on. I have had trouble with it in the past and it's made me a sadder and wiser lady... with sharper retaliation. So I say don't step on my toes because I have basically snapped and will no longer let it slide. This is a subject both Brian and I have discussed extensively over the past couple of weeks and he basically understands my need to start sitting these opportunists down when they try their shit and speaking to them. It's not like I go off like a damn fire alarm and shriek, "WHOREBITCHCUNTFUCKINGDIE!" I'm as patient as everyone remembers me to be. But make no mistake... you don't step on my toes, kids. I don't get angry often for a reason; because when I do it's like a destructive eruption. An eruption with a blackbelt.
Let it be known that my territory is clearly marked by the wedding ring, NO ONE can claim ignorance of it because we are going on four years and the names Brian and Vanessa have been associated with one another since high school. Think me childish or not, this is my two cents: with the amount of time he and I have been together and the general knowledge of our relationship, I think their actions are just plain rude. If said girls try to nose their way into his life, the message it sends to me is a.) There is something wrong with the current relationship and they think they can do it better or b.) They don't give two shits and just want to push their luck. On the basic instinct level, it's a threat to the alpha female if some other hussy is trying to put her out of her place in the pack. Either way, I have no reason to be cool about this. No. We've been together too damn long for this to still be going on and even my husband himself is sick of the opportunists (surprise, he can pick you kids out of the crowd of friendly female faces too!).
Let it be known. Brian is clearly my territory, I am clearly his, and there is no tolerance on either side for any of this ridiculousness. This isn't high school anymore, this isn't just a relationship... it's a marriage. We love our opposite sex friends, just not the ones that hope to sneak in a score someday.
Don't step on my toes, and I won't bare my teeth.
Live to love,
Vanessa