How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Part 4/6
Title: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Author: glitterandpaws
Word Count: 34,000
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Summary: Kurt is an up-and-coming fashion designer on the brink of hitting it big, when he’s presented with the possibility of having his newest collection showcased during fashion week. The committee is torn between Kurt and Sebastian for the slot, and Kurt must make someone fall in love with him in ten days order to be in the show, but that’s not the only deal he makes. Meanwhile, Blaine is a successful journalist, writing under the pseudonym Blair for a women’s magazine as their resident how-to “girl” when he’s roped into writing a piece on “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”. When Kurt and Blaine find each other, both of their tasks prove harder than they first appeared.
Full author notes at the masterpost
DAY 8
The drive to Stoughton was long.
Kurt kept watching the clock. He knew the drive was taking just as long as it normally did; it just felt like each second was being dragged out. Blaine was in full bi-polar mode.
“Are you even listening to me, Kurt?”
“Yes.” Kurt actively forced himself not to grit his teeth. His hands tightened around the steering wheel. “Of course.”
“You’re lying.”
Kurt’s eyes flicked to Blaine. He was staring at Kurt with his eyebrows raised, somehow looking accusatory and needy all at once.
“Who is he?”
“What?” Kurt said, looking back at the road.
“The guy you’re thinking about.”
“Blaine, what? I’m not thinking about a guy. I’m thinking about driving, for Christ’s sake.”
Blaine huffed and Kurt could see him turning his body towards the window out of the corner of his eye. A small voice came from the other side of the car. “I don’t like it when you snap at me.”
Fuck. Kurt breathed deeply for a couple of seconds. He reached out a hand and laid it on Blaine’s leg. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to concentrate on the road, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He heard Blaine sniff and cursed himself inwardly, stroking a hand up and down his leg in an attempt to soothe. Blaine grabbed his hand. “What are you thinking about, then?”
“You,” Kurt said without thinking.
Blaine leaned forward, trying to catch Kurt’s eye. “Really? What about me?”
“Well.” Kurt was searching for words, squeezing Blaine’s hand gently. “I was thinking about how handsome you are. You’re so… sexy, Blaine. It’s amazing.” Kurt wasn’t actually lying: he’d thought these things about Blaine the moment he met him. They were just eclipsed, sometimes.
“You think that about me?”
Kurt glanced him, catching his adoring look. “Of course.” Suddenly there was a hand at his belt, trying to undo the clasp. “Fuck, Blaine, what are you doing?”
Blaine succeeded in undoing his belt and started in on his jeans. “Well, I thought your sexy boyfriend could give you a present.”
“I - what?”
“Haven’t you ever heard of road-head, Kurt?” Blaine unzipped Kurt’s jeans and started to lean over him.
Kurt almost lost control of the car. “Blaine, stop! Jesus, no.” He pushed Blaine’s hands off him and struggled to do himself up one-handed. “Not… not now, okay?”
“You’re not even slightly turned on by the idea of me blowing you while you drive?” Blaine asked, surprised by how sharp the words came out. It was hard, pretending to be someone else. Sometimes his real feelings got hurt and he didn’t know how to stop it. “Are you not attracted to me at all?”
Kurt growled and swerved the car onto the hard shoulder. Blaine jumped and clung to the door at the sudden jerk of the car. Kurt braked sharply and turned to him, a hard expression on his features. “Blaine, listen to me. You’re fantastic and yes, I’m definitely attracted to you. But we’re a few minutes from my house and I’m not going to see my dad when I’ve just had oral sex in my car. It’s not going to happen. So… save it, okay?”
“We’re that close?” Blaine asked, seeming mercifully distracted from the road-head topic.
“Yes. This is the edge of the town, see?”
Blaine looked out of the window and took in the houses on the side of the road and the sign welcoming him to Stoughton. He swallowed, feeling all his nervousness build up inside him to full force. “Right.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Just…” He waved his hand vaguely. “Keep driving.”
The car started again and Kurt pulled back onto the road leading into the town, towards his family home. Blaine was starting to feel a little sick. Up until now it had been easy to think of this like a game: it was only Kurt, sometimes a couple of his friends. Once this article was written he could avoid them for the rest of his life in a city like New York. The people he was about to meet, however, were Kurt’s family. They’d raised the man beside him. They were welcoming Blaine into their home at short notice under the illusion that he and Kurt were an item, falling in love if they weren’t already. Blaine didn’t think he could act like this around them.
Before he had time to calm himself down properly, Kurt was pulling into the drive of a beautiful, classic New England house and climbing out of the car. Blaine followed him and caught up to him before he reached the door. As Kurt pulled his keys out of his pocket, he looked back and caught Blaine’s expression.
“Hey.”
Blaine’s eyes flicked to his. He knew his fear was showing on his face. “I’m kind of nervous.”
Kurt couldn’t help but reach out a hand to him. He entwined his fingers with Blaine’s. He looked positively terrified and the expression was the most comprehensible Kurt had seen on his face since the day they met. “They’re going to love you.”
Blaine smiled weakly at him, obviously not convinced. Kurt sighed and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Come on.” He unlocked the door and led Blaine in by the hand. “Hello?” he called out into the house. Immediately, Carole came around a corner, a wide grin on her face.
“Kurt, honey, it’s great to see you.” She pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. “And you must be Blaine.”
Blaine gripped Kurt’s hand tighter, holding out the other to her. “Yes. It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs Hummel.” He gave her his most charming smile, trying not to seem as nervous as he was.
Carole took his hand with a laugh and pulled him towards her, kissing him on each cheek. “Lovely to meet you, too, and call me Carole, please. No need to look so nervous - we don’t bite. Come in, come and meet everyone.” She placed a hand on his back and began to guide him into the house, her motherly air actually succeeding in calming him. Kurt dropped Blaine’s hand to wrap his father up in a hug and long-sufferingly share a fist-bump with a tall man Blaine assumed was Finn.
Blaine didn’t know what to think when Burt turned to him with a smile and a genial pat to the shoulder. Kurt’s father was the person he had been most afraid of meeting. He kept thinking of his own dad back home and how he would never have even let Blaine’s boyfriend in the house. So Burt Hummel was quite a shock.
“There’s a game on,” he said to Blaine, leading him towards the couches where all the others were taking seats. There was Finn and his wife, a woman Carole introduced as her sister and her family, and Blaine could hear children running around in another room. “Blaine,” Burt continued, turning to him with a serious expression. “I need to ask you, are you a Yankees fan?”
Blaine laughed. “No, sir. I’m a Rangers man. Let me guess: Red Sox?”
Burt grinned and clapped him on the arm. “Born and bred.”
“He takes it so seriously,” Kurt said, passing Blaine with a bowl of chips in hand and putting them on the table. “It makes me wonder how we’re related.”
“Baseball is no laughing matter, Kurt,” Blaine said.
Kurt gave a pained groan and escaped to the kitchen to help Carole.
**
Blaine settled into watching the game, getting wrapped up in the adrenaline of it. He didn’t notice that he was so involved until the moment it ended and he realised that Burt was clapping him on the back and cheering. Finn was still staring at the screen. Blaine had just spent an hour with this family without feeling like a guest at any point. Burt was smiling at him like he’d just won a baseball game.
“Is it safe?” Kurt strode back into the room, glancing at the screen.
“Sit down, kid,” Burt said, squeezing Blaine’s shoulder a final time.
Kurt did so, sliding himself in next to Blaine on the couch. When he saw Blaine cast a nervous look in Burt’s direction, he slipped an arm around his waist. There was a tensing of the muscles in Blaine’s back, but when no one reacted, he relaxed.
Everyone gathered on the couches and chairs, a couple of kids on the floor, a baby in Finn’s lap. They all started throwing questions at Kurt, asking how New York was, how the designs were coming along, when he and Blaine were going to get married (Blaine knew she was only four and didn’t realise the awkwardness of that question, but he still blushed). At some point the cards came out and they played a round or two. Kurt’s niece was disturbingly good at poker for someone who still wore frilly socks.
Blaine learned more about Finn’s life than he would have thought possible in such a short time. He kept blushing every time Carole patted his hand or his arm, or the time she stroked his hair, or the time she paused when walking behind the couch and placed a hand on Kurt’s shoulder and a hand on Blaine’s. He tried not to fall over himself when he realised that everyone seemed to like him. They listened to what he had to say, laughed with him and teased him like he was just another part of the family puzzle. He leaned heavily into Kurt when it all hit him. Kurt glanced at his expression, then smiled. “Can I say I told you so?”
Somehow, as the poker descended into cheat, the focus turned to him.
“So were you born in New York, Blaine?”
“Um, no, sir.”
“Oh?” Kurt looked down at him where Blaine had somehow ended up curled against his chest with one of Kurt’s arms around his shoulders.
“Don’t laugh at me.”
“Why would we laugh at you? Unless you’re from Texas, in which case you won’t be able to stop me.”
Blaine blushed and fiddled with his shirt cuffs.
“Wait, are you actually-?”
“Canyon Lake, near Austin.”
“You don’t have an accent, honey,” Carole said, saving a flame-faced Kurt from having to speak.
“I hide it most of the time, but I slip occasionally. People judge you immediately if you have a Southern accent and I…” He looked up at her, trying to find a way not to say what he wanted to but knew he shouldn’t. “I try to forget about it most of the time.”
“Have you been home recently?” Carole asked, avoiding what he’d just said exactly the way he’d hoped she would.
“New York is my home.” He grabbed the empty chip bowl. “I’ll just take this through for you.”
**
“Blaine.”
“Kurt, I’m fine. Just leave it.” He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“That would mean talking about my family, so no, I’d really rather not.”
Kurt’s fingers brushed up his arm; little points of warmth, and Blaine grabbed his hand and pulled him close. He felt warm wrapped up in Kurt’s arms. The sounds of the house were all around him, woven in with Kurt’s soft breathing and murmurings of comfort. The words were almost out of Blaine’s mouth before he stopped them. They couldn’t be true, not so quickly. He was being fooled by this cocooning house and Kurt’s heartbeat against his ear.
Kurt ran a hand through Blaine’s hair. “Look, my dad’s probably going to put on an old baseball game in the background while they keep playing cards. I’m sure you’d love it, but if you’d rather just stay here with me, two-person baking is an option I’m putting on the table.
“Do I get to see you in an apron?”
“If you ask very nicely.”
“How could I say no?”
DAY 9
They ate breakfast in the garden. It was late-ish morning, so the sun was up and warming the air. There was a small breeze making the grass and leaves shiver. Kurt set out bowls of strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, yoghurt. He placed a plate of scrambled eggs in front of Blaine and stroked his hair as he did so. Blaine glanced at Burt, but the open display of affection seemed to be neither here not there to him as he tucked into his own eggs. Blaine caught Carole watching him and her soft, motherly smile made him warm from the inside out.
The children had a battle over who got the Fruit Loops first. Kurt fussed over his father’s heart when Burt tried to take another piece of bacon. Finn talked loudly about the game the day before, not noticing or not caring when people tuned him out. Carole kept serving Blaine more food as though he were her son to take care of. For a moment, Blaine saw his own mother sitting in Carole’s seat. She smiled, reached across to stroke his hair back off his forehead, and snuck another spoonful of egg onto his plate when she thought he wasn’t looking. She was his mother before… before everything.
He blinked, and she was Carole again, discussing lunch with Kurt. Fingers slipped in between Blaine’s on the tabletop. He looked down to find Kurt’s fingertips sliding under his palm. When he glanced up, only Finn was watching them. He caught Blaine’s eye and gave him what Blaine could only gauge to be an encouraging smile. He returned it and wrapped his fingers into his hand, over Kurt’s.
“What are you kids doing today?” Burt took a swig from his coffee cup, looking at Kurt as he lowered it.
“I wanted to take Blaine to see the garage.”
“Why’d you do that?” Burt asked with the hint of a laugh in his voice. “I know he’s a country boy, but he’s been in New York for a long time. I don’t know if a day as a grease monkey is what he needs.”
“No, I’d like that. Which garage is this?”
Burt gave him a calculating look. “Mine. Hummel Tires and Lube.”
“Then I definitely have to go,” Blaine exclaimed, turning to Kurt with a triumphant look.
“Perfect,” Kurt replied. He kissed Blaine’s cheek. He felt Blaine’s hold back flinch and sighed against his skin. He leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Calm down. No one cares what we do here. Just be yourself.”
Blaine nodded, forcing a tiny smile. Kurt sighed again, but just squeezed his hand before tuning back into the conversation.
**
“And you get to wear the disgusting spare overalls.” Kurt’s voice rang out from the cupboard. “They’re red, which is often a good thing, but not in this case.” He returned with a pair of overalls over each arm, one navy blue, one red. He handed the latter to Blaine.
Blaine smirked. “I’m sure you will be pleasantly surprised by how good I look in these.”
“Okay, Sparky.”
“Did you just make a baseball joke?”
Kurt turned his attention to his own overalls. “That is something you will never know. Do you think it’s too hot to wear jeans under these?”
Blaine felt his mouth drop open a little. “Um. Yes. Most definitely.”
Kurt looked up at him with raised eyebrows, then snorted. “Oh my god, you are always so horny. You should get help.”
“The only thing that would help is if you stopped being so hot, but I’m not really willing to give that up.”
Kurt blushed. “Turn around.”
“You’re cruel.”
“Don’t make me say it twice. I’ll tell my father you’re pressuring me into sex.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Blaine said with a gasp, but he turned away. They both stepped out of their jeans and into the overalls. Blaine pulled his shirt over his head, leaving just his undershirt. He shrugged his arms into the red sleeves and zipped himself up to halfway up his chest. He turned to find Kurt in much the same position, looking adorable in his navy overalls with his name embroidered over his heart.
“Well.” Kurt looked Blaine up and down. “What do you know? You look ridiculously cute in those.”
Blaine looked down at himself, but was pretty sure the effect was lost on him. He lifted his head, grinning. “What can I say? I have a talent.”
Kurt put his hands on his shoulders and spun him to face the garage. “Enough. We have work to do.”
“Technically it’s a Sunday.”
“Blaine, stop talking.”
Blaine nodded. He let Kurt lead him to one of the cars on the garage floor. “Ooh, can I go on the skateboard underneath?”
“I told you to stop,” Kurt said with a laugh. “No. No skateboards for this one. I thought we’d start off easy. Show you the ropes.”
“My dad and I rebuilt a car once, you know.”
Kurt heard Blaine’s tone. “Really?” he asked carefully.
“Bonding trip. Failed, of course.” Blaine shrugged. “I figured out what he was trying to do, so.”
When Blaine didn’t elaborate, Kurt had to nudge him a little. “What was that?”
Blaine took in a deep breath, eyes roving over the spare parts stored on a shelf near them. “He thought doing something manly would make me straight. It didn’t work, obviously.”
Kurt slid his arms around Blaine’s waist from behind and kissed his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Blaine was silent for a minute. He frowned at the floor while Kurt pressed sporadic kisses to his shoulder and the back of his neck. He straightened up. “It’s in the past now. I’ve forgotten everything. Start me from scratch, professor.”
**
“Blaine, the oil goes on the car, not you!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m a klutz.”
“How do you make oil look cute?”
“I work out?”
**
“Are my hands supposed to be this dirty?”
“No.”
“Am I doing it wrong?”
“No.”
“Then-”
“Oh my god, yes, yes, you’re doing it wrong. Stop!”
**
“How did you get motor oil behind your ear?”
“Does it look cute?”
“Shut up.”
**
“Holy mother of fuck, Jesus, you cock-shitting ball sucker - fuck, ow!”
“…”
“…”
“That was quite impressive.”
“I told you to hold onto it.”
“I would’ve dropped it sooner if I’d known that was going to happen.”
**
“Did I do it?”
“You did it.”
“Yes! Do I get a kiss?”
“You get two.”
**
Blaine felt tears prick his eyes as he watched Kurt pull towels out of the cupboard for him and start the shower on the right temperature.
“I know the dials might be a bit complex, but I ordered this from a Japanese company when I was fifteen. The water pressure is outstanding, but you have to get it just right.” Kurt stepped away from the newly running shower, turning to Blaine. “Hey,” he said when he caught his expression, “what’s this for?” He stroked Blaine’s arm with a soft look.
Blaine sighed, looking at the floor and tangling his fingers with Kurt’s. “I love this house. I love all the people in it. They’re all so welcoming and I feel… like I can just be here, no questions asked. And your dad,” he sniffed, “your dad just accepts you; accepts us, like it’s nothing.”
“Blaine,” Kurt said with a shake of his head, “that’s a good thing. That’s how it should be.”
Blaine let his head hang forwards and felt hot tears spill onto his cheeks. “I’ll never have that with my dad. He’ll never love me the way he did before I came out.” He took in a shaky breath and Kurt wrapped him up in his arms, pressing a kiss to his hair.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re so lucky,” Blaine said, curling into Kurt’s chest, “and I feel blessed to have even a part of what you have.”
Kurt put a hand under Blaine’s chin, tilting it up. He stroked his fingers along his jaw, skin catching on one day’s stubble. He sighed, pushing his frown away, and kissed him. Blaine leaned up into it, but Kurt pulled away too quickly. He brushed fingers over Blaine’s cheekbone, around the shell of his ear. Blaine kissed Kurt, catching him a little by surprise. Kurt squeaked against his mouth and Blaine pulled back with a laugh.
It petered out, and they were left staring at each other as the room started to fill with shower steam. Blaine lifted his arms above his head, watching Kurt all the while. When Kurt didn’t react, Blaine rolled his eyes and wiggled his shoulders and fingers. Kurt laughed and nodded as he reached for the hem of Blaine’s shirt.
They pulled each other’s clothes off, giggling and pressing kisses to cheeks and necks. When they had both stepped out of their jeans and underwear, Kurt dragged Blaine into the shower, kissing him frantically. They stumbled over the lip of the shower and slipped on the wet ceramic floor. Kurt’s hand slapped onto the shower wall and Blaine fell into him, unbalancing them all over again. They laughed, clinging to each other to stay upright. Eventually, Kurt cupped Blaine’s jaw with his hands and drew him into a kiss again. He crowded him up against the tiled wall, licking past his lips.
They fell into lazy kisses for a while. The water was hot on Kurt’s back, trickling down between their bodies and throwing billows of steam off their skin. Blaine slid a hand around Kurt’s back, pushing them together. They slipped into a rhythm, skin sliding over skin until Blaine was letting out little moans into Kurt’s mouth.
Kurt kept kissing Blaine as he pushed the shower door open. His arm disappeared around the edge and Blaine could hear scrambling, but was paying more attention to sucking Kurt’s bottom lip into his mouth. Kurt leaned back into the shower, pulling the door closed and looking at Blaine in triumph. Blaine looked down and snorted. Of course Kurt would have condoms and lube accessible in all places. Kurt slapped his chest lightly.
He tilted his head, considering him, letting them settle back into sweetness and want. He gestured with the bottle and Blaine nodded. Kurt huffed out a breath and gave him the smile of a nervous teenager. Blaine wanted to kiss him for it.
Kurt lifted Blaine’s leg and hooked it around his hip, keeping their eyes locked. Blaine pressed his toes into the back of Kurt’s calf and ran a hand up his spine to the back of his neck. He pulled him in for a kiss, revelling in the warmth of Kurt’s mouth. He parted his lips and Kurt’s tongue slipped inside, tracing along his. Blaine sighed into his mouth, the sound dropping to a moan when he felt the brush of Kurt’s fingers against his entrance.
Kurt worked him open slowly with a sweet, hot press inside him and he kissed him to hide his keens. Kurt’s other hand stroked his side, his stomach, his hip, everywhere; soothing and warm, anchoring Blaine when the crook of Kurt’s fingers inside him tilted the Earth sideways. He rested his head against Kurt’s neck and breathed hard, little whimpers escaping unbidden. The wall tiles were warming against his hot skin, small moans mixing with the thrum of water to echo off the ceramic.
Each stroke of Kurt’s skin was slowly pulling away each part of Blaine’s armour. He could almost hear the chain mail slither of all his words hitting the floor. The woman he had been forced to become was unclenching her fingers from around his wrists; unwrapping her legs from around his waist and stepping away until he was just Blaine. Unadulterated; naked without his breastplate and flurry of arrows.
Kurt whispered his name, choked it against his neck, and for the first time it was true. There was no-one else within him now and no other’s acts to encase him. He leaned his head back and opened his arms to it.
When Kurt pushed into him, Blaine felt his consciousness fragmenting. Kurt was taking him to pieces with every press into him. He could think of nothing but them and how full he was and how he was in pieces but so, so whole.
Kurt lifted him up against the wall, both Blaine’s legs wrapped tight around him, and he was right there. Blaine’s hand slammed against the glass door of the shower, fingertips trying to find purchase on the flat. He keened, wrapped an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. He had his face pressed into Kurt’s neck as he licked wet kisses onto his skin, but Kurt pulled Blaine’s head back. I want to see you, he murmured. Blaine blinked in reply, and then his eyes were locked on Kurt’s. Kurt thrust once, twice more and he was gone. They both were. They moaned, still sliding against each other, stripping more and more and more from each other, eyes tethered until at last they slumped into stillness, panting.
Blaine leaned hard against the wall, one leg dropping to prop him up. Kurt lifted a shaking hand to push Blaine’s curls from his forehead. He paused there, fingers wrapping around Blaine’s hair. He smiled, his lips curving up slowly as a look of complete contentment spread across his face. Blaine let out a heavy breath and returned it.
When Kurt pulled away from him a few minutes later, he almost cried out. He wanted to stay there, exactly like that, forever. Kurt shushed him with soft, barely-kisses to his lips. He swiped his hands over Blaine’s torso, letting the water wash him clean, and they finally stumbled from the shower on shaky legs. Blaine just leaned against Kurt, letting him towel them dry.
When there was no water on their skin except for the dampness on the backs of their knees and around their ankles, Blaine hugged his arms around Kurt’s middle and rested his head against his chest. Kurt let his cheek rest on top of Blaine’s head, fingertips curling in little patterns on his shoulder blades.
They almost spoke. There were so many things they could have said - so many things they thought of to say, sitting right behind their teeth, ready to clamber out. They didn’t speak; they didn’t need to. Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine’s hairline and smiled. They were perfect.
**
“So this is home.” Kurt looked up at the building they had stopped in front of, fingers tangled with Blaine’s.
“This is home.”
The drive back had been quiet, but they had liked it that way. They had kept their hands linked on top of the gearshift and Blaine had watched Kurt almost the whole time. At some red lights, Kurt leant over and pressed a lingering kiss to Blaine’s lips. They had rolled down the windows a little and let the air buffet them, blowing out the stuffy thickness of summer that had gathered as the car sat in the driveway. Blaine had leaned his head back and closed his eyes, and the sight of him growing serenely windswept had caused Kurt to make more than one bad driving decision.
“It’s the gala for the fashion show tomorrow night. They’ll announce whether I’ve got the slot or not. I’d like you to come with me.”
Blaine had climbed up one step, making him level with Kurt. He smiled. “I’ll be there in my best suit.”
“I would like you to be there… as my boyfriend.”
Blaine’s smile grew and he wrapped his arms around Kurt’s neck. “Was that a question?”
“Maybe?”
Blaine laughed. He leaned their foreheads together. “I will be there, then, as your boyfriend.”
Kurt hummed happily, sliding his lips over Blaine’s for just a moment. “Ten days tomorrow.”
“Ten days.”
“I’m lucky to have had even that with you.”
Blaine grinned, dropping his head onto Kurt’s shoulder. “That was bordering on cheesy.”
“I prefer ‘romantic’.”
Blaine huffed out a laugh. “Okay, Mr. Romantic, I’ll let you have it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed Kurt one last time. And once more. And once more after that.
He pulled away at last, but was tugged back for just one more kiss. “I can’t wait.”
Part 5